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Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.

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Harry Potter/correction
Message de sarah87 posté le 01-10-2006 à 19:53:29 (S | E | F | I)

Bonjour !
j'ai un exposé à faire sur Harry Potter, l'adaptation cinématographique, j'ai choisi de traiter la critique positive du film et la critique négative, pourriez vous me corriger les fautes svp ?

Introduction

The first four JK Rowling's books have been adapted to the cinema. The first two films : Harry potter and the Philosopher's Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets were diriged by the producer Chris Columbus whereas the third film Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was diriged by Alfonso Cuaron and the last film which was opened Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was diriged by Mike Newell. The scenarist of all these films is Steven Kloves.
The screen adaptation of the books have caused numerous reactions and opinions are very divided/contrasted.
I'm going to talk to you about critics in favour of the film, critics against the film


Critics in favour of the film

Critics I have found mainly come from/result from Internet's articles.

The screen adaptation of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of secrets diriged by Chris Columbus are faithful to the book's story. The producer permitted JK Rowling to take part in the project so that she could help the scenarist to write the script and choose the important sequences of these films.
In general, people think special effects are excellent, actors play very well, characters are very endearing/captivating and the musical topic is glorious. These films are very agreeable for all the familly. They carry/convey many positive values such as the merit, the courage, the friendship and the power/force of the sacrifice by love. They contain several elements which can allow to launch the debate with children on topics like the prejudices, the revenge, the cupidity and the respect. They are amusing films.


Critics against the film
The third film "Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban" diriged by Alfonso Cuaron, is very different from the first two, he took more freedoms compared with the book.
Many people find special effects anodyne and the rhythm of the story very slow.
The film encourage behaviours like the lie, the cheating, the robbery and other bad references that children will reproduce given that Harry Potter is the hero of their generation. Harry spends all his time disobeying his uncle or his teachers. For example, he rapes the law using the magic during the summer.
Violent plays with burstings, fires, fightings and blood can be too frightening for young spectators.
On several occasions, Harry and his friends do what their teachers forbade/prohibited them and get out of trouble with benefit. These films seem to encourage children to challenge all people representing the authority like parents and teachers.
The lenghth/duration of these films is often too long for children.
The whichcraft in the center of the film is a big problem for Christian people. They think these films are very dangerous for their children
There are several contradictions in the films which are developed in the books



Conclusion

At the beginning, JK Rowling hesitated to do films of their accounts/narratives but finally she is pleased about the result.
Now I'm going to show you a piece of an interview between JK Rowling and the different producers of the film talking about the sreen adaptation. This extract comes from the collector version of "Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban".

merci d'avance pour votre correction
sarah

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 01-10-2006 19:59
titre.



Réponse: Harry Potter/correction de etudiant, postée le 01-10-2006 à 22:20:39 (S | E)

Introduction

The first four JK Rowling's books have been adapted to the cinema.
Parfait

The first two films : Harry potter and the Philosopher's Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets were diriged by the producer Chris Columbus whereas the third film Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was diriged by Alfonso Cuaron and the last film which was opened Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was diriged by Mike Newell.
diriged = not a word in English, you want to say "directed"
just omit "which was opened", it makes no sense

The scenarist of all these films is Steven Kloves.
scenarist is not a word, the word you want is scriptwriter (scénariste en français)

The screen adaptation of the books have caused numerous reactions and opinions are very divided/contrasted.
adaptations (plural)
"opinions are divided" is good English, but "contrasted" does not make sense in this context.

I'm going to talk to you about critics in favour of the film, critics against the film
You should use "and" in place of the comma when there are only 2 items in a list.
speak is better than talk in this case, but talk is ok too.


Critics in favour of the film
"favour" is wrong in American English, but might be ok in British English. In America, it's "favor"

Critics I have found mainly come from/result from Internet's articles.
"Critiques I have found come mainly from the internet."
critic = a person who criticizes
his criticism = a critique

The screen adaptation of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of secrets diriged by Chris Columbus are faithful to the book's story.
In English, you need to use the plural of books here. "faithful to the books". In French, you can say "Les hommes ont mis le chapeau.", in English, it must be "The men put on their hats." Even though each one clearly has one hat, the total number of hats is greater than one, so we use the plural.

The producer permitted JK Rowling to take part in the project so that she could help the scenarist to write the script and choose the important sequences of these films.
important sequences from these films, not of.

In general, people think special effects are excellent, actors play very well, characters are very endearing/captivating and the musical topic is glorious.
In general, people find the special effects excellent, the acting very good, the characters very endearing/captivating, and the musical score (something here). Glorious isn't the right word, it sounds very strange in this case. It's too strong I think, glorious is something you apply to God, or something of divine import, not to a musical score really. Maybe "excellent", "moving", "beautiful", etc.


These films are very agreeable for all the familly.
This is ok, but no anglophone would say "agreeable" here. Maybe "fun" or "entertaining" would be better.

They carry/convey many positive values such as the merit, the courage, the friendship and the power/force of the sacrifice by love.
convey is better than carry. Drop the articles in front of general terms like merit, courage, etc. They are used in French but not in English. values such as merit, courage, friendship, and the power of sacrifice/love. force is awkward here, use power. "Power of the sacrifice of love" sounds odd too, I'd just say "the power of love"

They contain several elements which can allow to launch the debate with children on topics like the prejudices, the revenge, the cupidity and the respect.
You need a noun/pronoun after "allow", eg. can allow parents to ...
launch is not the right word, try something like "They contain several elements which can be used to initiate discussion with children such as prejudice (singlular here), revenge, greed (cupidity is a word no one uses, and I wouldn't recognize it were it not for French), and respect." Again, in English we don't use definite articles here.

They are amusing films.
ok

Critics against the film
ok

The third film "Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban" diriged by Alfonso Cuaron, is very different from the first two, he took more freedoms compared with the book.
End the sentence after "two". For the next sentence, use "He took more creative liberty in making this book into a movie."

Many people find special effects anodyne and the rhythm of the story very slow.
add "the" before "special effects"
Anodyne is an archaic medical term used for chemicals that relieve pain, like narcotics or anaesthetics. It's hardly ever used, and makes absolutely no sense in this context.

The film encourage behaviours like the lie, the cheating, the robbery and other bad references that children will reproduce given that Harry Potter is the hero of their generation.
The film encourages bad behaviors such as lying, cheating, and stealing which children may adopt given that Harry Potter is the hero of their generation.

Harry spends all his time disobeying his uncle or his teachers.
ok

For example, he rapes the law using the magic during the summer.
Definitely don't want to use the word rape here. "rape" in English is used almost exclusively to mean forced sexual intercourse. Maybe you just mean, "he breaks the law by using magic during the summer"? There is an older use of the word rape, as in the poem, "The rape of the lock" written in the mid 1700's by Alexander Pope. In this context it can mean simply "theft", but that meaning is archaic and most English speakers would not even know it.

Violent plays with burstings, fires, fightings and blood can be too frightening for young spectators.
"Violent scenes with (burstings? explosions maybe?), fires, fights, and blood ..."


On several occasions, Harry and his friends do what their teachers forbade/prohibited them and get out of trouble with benefit.
"what their teachers forbade them to do"
"and get out of trouble with benefit" doesn't really make sense, maybe "and do not suffer negative repercussions" or "and do not get into trouble"

These films seem to encourage children to challenge all people representing the authority like parents and teachers.
These films seem to encourage children to challenge authority (or challenge authority figures if you prefer).

The lenghth/duration of these films is often too long for children.
These films are often too long for children.

The whichcraft in the center of the film is a big problem for Christian people.
witchcraft is the correct spelling, and again, no definite article.
"The centra role of witchcraft in the films can be a big problem for Christians."

They think these films are very dangerous for their children
ok

There are several contradictions in the films which are developed in the books.
This sentence is gramatically perfect, but doesn't really make sense to me. Maybe ok.

Conclusion

At the beginning, JK Rowling hesitated to do films of their accounts/narratives but finally she is pleased about the result.
In the beginning, JK Rowling was hesitant to make films of her stories, but in the end she was pleased with the results.

Now I'm going to show you a piece of an interview between JK Rowling and the different producers of the film talking about the sreen adaptation.
Now I'm going to show you an excerpt of an interview between JK Rowling and the producers of the films discussing the screen adaptations.

This extract comes from the collector version of "Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban".
ok


Réponse: Harry Potter/correction de bondredo, postée le 02-10-2006 à 08:33:58 (S | E)
Un peu en marge de la question : si vous souhaitez lire du Harry Potter inédit de qualité, je vous conseille la trilogie fanfic Draco Dormiens, Draco Sinister, Draco Veritas (sur Lien Internet
, en anglais. Les deux premières parties ont aussi été traduites en français).




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