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Oral anglais / progress

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral anglais / progress
Message de adrin2 posté le 02-04-2018 à 16:52:40 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger ma présentation, je passe ce vendredi.
Merci par avance

INTRODUCTION:
The notion I’m going to speak about is progress, first of all I’m going to define this notion: the idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change, a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place.
In order to illustrate this notion, I’ve chosen to talk about women’s rights, my presentation will deal with this question:
How have the rights of women evolved? / How have women's rights evolved?
At first, I will talk about the inequality between men and women in the past, then about the fights for women rights, and finally I will deal about the situation today.

I-Women's rights in the 16th century
The first document is an extract from the book “The Taming of the Shrew” by Shakespeare dating back to 1593. This text exposes a misogynist vision of society, in which there is no equality between men and women and they are totally submitted to their husbands. What is surprising here is that this monologue is uttered by woman who teaches, advises other women and who praises the power of men. But her speech appears very unnatural because she exaggerates the details of women's submission. she is actually saying what their husbands want to hear. This speech can be ironic. With this extract we understand that women did not have rights at that time.

II-The fights for women's rights: The suffragettes
At the end of the nineteenth century women had no place in national politics. Women have been considered to be inferior than men, their roles were seen to be childrearing and taking care of home and considered as intellectually subordinates as we show the poster “A women’s Mind is Magnified”. That’s why in 1903 the creation by Emmeline Pankhurst, of the Women’s social and political union WSPU, where she encouraged women to speak up against male domination.
The suffragettes used demonstrations and violent actions as arson attacks, window-breaking for to obtain the right to vote. These actions of suffragettes were repressed and they were sent to prison. Aber few women dared to commit to the cause for fear of their husbands’ and neighbour’s reactions. Indeed, in 1928 the conditions of votes become the same for men and women which marks a social progress in UK. So, the suffragette’s movement allowed numerous progress for the women in UK

III-And now?
The rights of women have progressed, today almost every country in the world women have the right to vote, women have the same rights as men and they are equal. However, many progress remains to be accomplished particularly about wages and sexual harassment.
In 2017, after the scandal Weinstein, Time has chosen women “Person of the year”. The cover represents all women in the world. This cover give hope to certain women that, change is possible when they make her voice heard. It’s a progress against women harassment.

CONCLUSION: To conclude, for centuries, women rights have evolved, many countries in the world defend women’s rights but it remains progress to be made in different areas as wages, sexism or harassment. We may wonder what will be the future struggles for women's rights?

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-04-2018 17:30


Réponse : Oral anglais / progress de laure95, postée le 02-04-2018 à 18:29:55 (S | E)
Excuse-moi, erreur de manipulation.
- the inequality (mettre au pluriel) between men and women in the past, then about the fights for women (il manque la marque de l'appartenance) rights, and finally I will deal about (pas la bonne préposition) the situation today.

I-Women's rights in the 16th century
- This text exposes a misogynist vision of (article)society,
- in which there is no equality between men and women and (mettre un pronom relatif plutôt que "and") they are totally submitted to their husbands.
- this monologue is uttered by (article)woman who teaches
- she is actually saying what their husbands (singulier) want (singulier)to hear.
- This speech can be ironic (pas le bon mot).

II-The fights for women's rights: The suffragettes
- Women have been (preterit)considered to be inferior than (pas le bon mot)men,
- their roles were seen (il manque un mot) to be childrearing and taking care of home and considered as intellectually subordinates (participe passé)
- as we show the poster: ?
- That’s why in 1903 the creation by Emmeline Pankhurst, of the Women’s social and political union WSPU: où est le verbe conjugué?
- for to (choisis!) obtain the right to vote.
- Aber: ?
- Indeed, in 1928 the conditions of votes become (temps!)the same for men and women which marks (temps!)a social progress
- So, the suffragette’s movement allowed numerous progress for the (pas de the)women in UK

III-And now?
The rights of women have progressed: progress est un nom, pas un verbe.
- today (il manque une préposition) almost every country in the world women have the right to vote,
- However, many (many + pluriel)progress remains to be accomplished particularly about wages and sexual harassment.
- after the scandal Weinstein: ordre des mots
- Time has chosen women (il manque un mot)“Person of the year”.
- This cover give (faute de conjugaison)hope to certain women that,(enlever that) change is possible when they make her (mettre le possessif pluriel) voice heard (pas la bonne forme du verbe).

CONCLUSION: To conclude, for centuries, women (marque de l'appartenance) rights have Evolved
- We may wonder what will be the future struggles for women's rights?: ordre des mots (question indirecte)



Réponse : Oral anglais / progress de adrin2, postée le 02-04-2018 à 20:44:39 (S | E)
Bonsoir laure95,

Je viens de corriger mon oral, merci infiniment pour votre correction et vos conseils très importants.




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