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Notion/ Idea of Progress

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Notion/ Idea of Progress
Message de mogette01 posté le 09-05-2018 à 15:46:44 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody!!!
Je poste ce message car dans 2 semaines je passe mon oral d'anglais et j'aimerais bien que quelqu'un corrige mon texte et savoir s'il est cohérent avec la notion d'idée de progrès. Je pense qu'à certains endroits de mon texte il y a des passages qui sont un peu lourds et j'aimerais que vous m'en fassiez part!!!
Merci d'avance!


I am going to talk about the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. It can be a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. Thus, we can see that this notion can be studied through different angles and lead to the question to what extent do the fight of different people participates to the society progress? In a first part, I’ll speak about the fight of different Black leaders for the human rights and in a second part, I’ll study the fight of some people in everyday life.

I. The fight of different Black leaders for the human rights
Black people did not the same civil rights as the white people for a long time. For it, different black leaders fought to have the same rights as white people. To beginning, I can quote Martin Luther King who was an American Baptist minister and activist. He became the leader in the civil rights movement. This year, we have read the speech “I have a Dream” delivered by MLK during the March on Washington for jobs and freedom on August 28, 1963. This speech was pronounced in front of the Lincoln Memorial because Lincoln did abolish slavery. His dream was an end to racial segregation in public schools, a law prohibiting racial discrimination in employment. There are lot of repetitions on his speech to emphasize on what he says like ‘I have a dream’. He recalls the declaration of human rights ‘all men are created equal’. His speech was a hope’s message for black people who were discrimination’s victims.
Moreover, we have read the Obama’s speech “America, yes we can!” which was delivered the eighth of January 2008. The first progress that I can quote is Obama became the first black president on the United States of America. In his speech, Obama refers to several occurrences of key importance in American history, for example the abolition of slavery, the right of vote to illustrate the possibility of changing the given circumstances. The whole speech was aiming for unity, emphasizing the USA. The repetition of ‘yes we can” does us a
Recall of the speech ‘I have a dream’.

II. The fight of some people in everyday life
Secondly, every day a lot of persons defend their rights. For example, the movie Philadelphia was inspired by the live of lawyer Geoffrey Bowers who was a homosexual and an AIDS patient. Tom Hanks embodies the role with the name: Andrew Beckett. Andrew was a brilliant lawyer, but one day his colleagues learnt he had got the AIDS. The office of barristers decided to fire him for a “case failure”. In a world which is intolerant, Andrew must fight for his rights. He meets a black and homophobic lawyer who is Joe Miller to help him. This man change mind about gays and both they complain against the office of barrister. Andrew Beckett won this trial before dying. It’s a militant film for the rights of the homosexual and to show that AIDS patient are normal people. This movie has won many Oscars.
Secondly, this year we have study a text named “Letter to Mama”. The letter was written by Michael Toliver who is a homosexual in the 80’s. In his letter he explains to his mother his real feelings about his identity. He says that his friends are surprised and considered Michael like crazy. Michael lives in San Francisco because since the 80’s the city is very tolerant and don’t judge you. With his letter, he hopes a progress in parent’s way of thinking.

To conclude, I can say that great men put their lives at risk to have more civil rights for black people. Thanks to these men there are laws and more rights for them. Mentalities could change positively. Moreover, ordinary people also fought for homosexual rights and to change the opinion about AIDS. Thanks to these persons, now all people are considered equals. Within all these persons, the world couldn’t evolve. These person are signs of progress.


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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2018 23:07


Réponse : Notion/ Idea of Progress de laure95, postée le 10-05-2018 à 11:46:24 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- to what extent do the fight of different people participates (infinitif)to the society (marque de la possession)progress?

I. The fight of different Black leaders for the human rights
Black people did not (verbe ?)the same civil rights as the white people for a long time.
- To beginning: to + infinitif.
- Lincoln did abolish slavery: conjugaison.
- There are lot of repetitions on (pas la bonne préposition)his speech
- His speech was a hope’s (pas de 's)message for black people
- who were discrimination’s victims: construire avec of.
- Moreover, we have read the (pas de the)Obama’s speech
- “America, yes we can!” which was delivered (on)the eighth of January 2008.
- on (pas la bonne préposition)the United States of America.
- The repetition of ‘yes we can” does us a Recall: mal dit.

II. The fight of some people in everyday life
- the live (live est un verbe)of lawyer Geoffrey Bowers
- Tom Hanks embodies the role with (Under pas with)the name: Andrew Beckett.
- This man change (faute de conjugaison) mind about gays
- the homosexual : pluriel.
- we have study: faute de conjugaison.
- Michael Toliver who is (passé) a homosexual in the 80’s.
- He says that his friends are surprised and considered (présent)Michael like (pas le bon mot ici) crazy.
- since the 80’s the city is (présent perfect)very tolerant and don’t judge (présent perfect)you.

- homosexual (marque de la possession) rights
- now all people are considered equals (pas de s).
- These person (pluriel) are signs of progress.




Réponse : Notion/ Idea of Progress de gerold, postée le 10-05-2018 à 13:09:15 (S | E)
Bonjour
Within all these persons (mieux: people) the world couldn't evolve ... within n'a pas de sens ici ...





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