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Message de sylvainp79 posté le 26-10-2018 à 21:00:24 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à toutes et à tous,
je dois rendre par écrit un texte sous la forme d'un journal intime, c'est-à-dire un texte plutôt simple, court (ce qui n'est pas mon cas déjà ), et en employant la plupart du temps soit le prétérit, soit le present perfect, et c'est justement l'emploi de ces temps-là qui me pose souci; je voulais savoir si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider à choisir le temps le plus adapté dans le cours de mon récit, et si mon texte comporte d'éventuelles fautes.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Wednesday 24th October 2018
Dear Diary, I had to do something very awkward today, I mean, I had to spend one day without new technologies ! It includes my phone, TV and of course, my computer.
I woke up at 8 AM. Usually, when I wake up, I grab my phone, to check if I've received notifications or not, however I wasn't able to do it, so instead of checking my phone, I ate my breakfast directly.
After my breakfast, most of the time, I go on my computer in order to play video games, but instead of this, I have borrowed a Mary Higgins Clark's book, which belongs to my mum, A Stranger Is Watching. It's a novel, which was released in 1977, I know it's quite old, but it's still younger than my mother ! (Sorry mum, I didn't want to make you sad, you know I'm kidding, I hope you won't find out my diary).
Also, I have read for two hours and it has made me feel soothed, because while I was reading, I wasn't thinking to my problems, I was focusing on the story.
After that morning, I wanted to do some sport, so I went out and I have run for forty minutes, without my headphones. That was weird to run this way, because I am not used to running without music.
After my jogging, I went to the newsstands and I have bought the daily newspaper, to be aware of what happened today, because I couldn't turn on TV. Thanks to this newspaper, I have been more efficient : I have read what interested me, I mean, I didn't have to watch the whole news to be conscious of the useful things ! Therefore, I have been quicker than usually, and I've won some time to spend on other things, like the housekeeping or my homework !
I have stopped the experience at 8 PM, this is the moment when I'm writing these lines because I had to write what I have done today, right here, but if I have at stopped 8 PM, that's because there is the match between Paris and Naples this evening, and I can't miss it, because I'm keen on Paris !
To sum up, I may say that this experience have mostly had positive aspects on me. It has enabled me to realize that new technologies are not always indispensable to me, we can replace them with more convenient things, for example, I don't have to be connected to be aware of what happens in the world, although it's easier to watch the news on my phone, don't forget that the newspapers contain reliable information, so, if you want a piece of information, buy a newspaper ! Nonetheless, I am too addicted to new technologies, and it's very tough for me to not be connected, so, I can say, unfortunately, that experience hasn't really changed my use of new technologies.
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-10-2018 21:41
Réponse : Expression /Journal Intime de laure95, postée le 28-10-2018 à 10:33:26 (S | E)
-It includes my phone: mettre au passé.
- TV and of course, my computer.
- After my (enlever my)breakfast,
- I go on (mal dit) my computer
- but instead of this: that pas this.
- I have borrowed (preterit) a (one of pas a)Mary Higgins Clark's book, (pluriel) which belongs to my mum,
- Also, (pas à la bonne place) I have read (preterit avec un indice de temps passé) for two hours
- so I went out and I have run (prétérit car c'est du récit)for forty minutes
- That was weird to run this (this au passé devien that) way, because I am not used to running without (any)music.
- After my (enlever my)jogging,
- I went to the newsstands and I have bought (prétérit: suit du récit)the daily newspaper,
- to be aware of what happened (présent perfect)today,
- I have stopped the experience at 8 PM: prétérit (indice de temps passé)
- because I had (présent) to write what I have done (prétérit)today,
- but if I have at stopped 8 PM: ?
- this experience have (faute de conjugaison) mostly had positive aspects on me.
- what happens (présent en be+-ing) in the world,
- don't forget that the (enlever the) newspapers contain reliable information,
Réponse : Expression /Journal Intime de sylvainp79, postée le 29-10-2018 à 09:38:43 (S | E)
Merci d'avoir pris le temps répondre, cela m'a permis de comprendre ce qui n'allait pas, ainsi voici comment j'ai corrigé mes erreurs grâce à vos explications :
-It included my phone, TV and of course, my computer.
-After breakfast, most of the time, I use my computer in order to play video games ("use" au lieu de "go" ?)
-but instead of that, I borrowed one of Mary Higgins Clark's book, which belong to my mum
-I also read for two hours and it has made me feel soothed
-so I went out and I ran for forty minutes
-That was weird to run that way, because I am not used to running without any music
-After jogging, I went to the newsstands and I bought the daily newspaper
-to be aware of what has happened today
-I stopped the experience at 8 PM, this is the moment when I'm writing these lines because I have to write what I did today, right here.
- Actually, I stopped the experience at 8 PM because there is the match between Paris and Naples this evening, and I can't miss it, because I'm keen on Paris ! (vous avez mis un point d'interrogation pour le "if I have stopped", c'était pour expliquer pourquoi j'avais arrêté l'expérience à 20 heures, mais ma traduction était trop littérale je pense)
-this experience has mostly had positive aspects on me
-what's happening in the world
-don't forget that newspapers
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