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Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.

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Travail Anglais suite
Message de zubok posté le 16-04-2007 à 12:08:50 (S | E | F | I)

Merci pour la première partie, je viens de la corriger.
Quelqu'un pourrait me dire si j'ai autant de fautes dans celle-ci? ^^
Merci


Comment:

I think that Cannabis and all other drugs are useless. Nobody should begin to some smoke joints just because it seems funny. Consequences are horrible and it’ difficult to stop smoking.
A lot of children begin to smoke joints at school with friends who have smoked for ages. They use drugs because they want to show that they are strong. But I think that they are just stupid because a real friend would never suggest you a joint.
I don’t think that legalization of “soft” drugs, like in Holland, is great. It incites adolescents to try them when they are 18 years old.
The drug market is a solution for children, adolescents and adults who need money. They become dealers then.
An other problem with drugs is that it’s dangerous for the health. For example a smoker of joints has 55 % more chances to have a lung cancer.
Children should be aware about drugs’ risks. They should be informed when they’re young at schools. They must know that drugs bring nothing good.
I know that it’s hard to stop this drug market because you can’t control your children all the time, but they must be warned.



Réponse: Travail Anglais suite de marlond, postée le 17-04-2007 à 00:38:04 (S | E)
I think that Cannabis and all other drugs are useless. Nobody should begin to some smoke joints just because it seems funny. Consequences are horrible and it’ difficult to stop smoking.
- no capital letter for 'cannabis'.
- I think you mean 'fun', not 'funny'
- 'THE consequences are...'
- 'It'S'

A lot of children begin to smoke joints at school with friends who have smoked for ages. They use drugs because they want to show that they are strong. But I think that they are just stupid because a real friend would never suggest you a joint.
- 'strong' isn't the right word. 'cool' is better.
- 'would never suggest you SMOKE a joint'

I don’t think that legalization of “soft” drugs, like in Holland, is great. It incites adolescents to try them when they are 18 years old.
- 'is a good idea' rather than 'is great'
- 'encourages' rather than 'incites'
- 'teenagers' rather than 'adolescents'

The drug market is a solution for children, adolescents and adults who need money. They become dealers then.
- 'the drugs market'
- 'teenagers' rather than 'adolescents'
- 'they soon become dealers if they need more money' is better for the last sentence.

An other problem with drugs is that it’s dangerous for the health. For example a smoker of joints has 55 % more chances to have a lung cancer.
- 'dangerous for the health' isn't correct grammar. 'dangerous for your/one's health'.
- 'has a 55% higher chance of developing lung cancer'

Children should be aware about drugs’ risks. They should be informed when they’re young at schools. They must know that drugs bring nothing good.
- 'the risk of drugs' is better.

I know that it’s hard to stop this drug market because you can’t control your children all the time, but they must be warned.




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