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An anecdote / correction (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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An anecdote / correction
Message de frenchy-x3 posté le 15-09-2007 à 19:10:48 (S | E | F | I)

Bonsoir j'aimerais connaître les erreurs que j'ai commises dans ma rédaction. Merci d'avance.

My parents told me an anecdote which had arrived at us when we were on vacation on the islands of the Indian ocean. I don’t remember it because I was a too much young person but thanks to my father who filmed all that he saw I could take part in this anecdote with the videos. It was one evening when we were in the restaurant with the family, there was an orchestra native to the island where we were which put the ambiance. A waiter came to take our order and the language barrier left place in some misundertansdings. Indeed, given that I danced in my stroller, my parents liked to know a little more about the music group which played. But the waiter, having seen me dancing in my stroller, thought that they would like that I go up on stage with the musicians and the singer woman. So, he went to speak with the group and finally, during a pause, one of the members of the group came to discuss at our table to know if I could come on stage because I was the first child whom they have seen making that. My parents entertained by the situation accepted. And I’m here, on the stage in my stroller to be danced to the rhythm of the music. It seems that this evening there their recipe should be special. Today when I look at pictures it makes me laugh. I don’t go for a walk any more in my stroller but I always dance so much!

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Modifié par bridg le 16-09-2007 11:09
titre distinctif


Réponse: An anecdote / correction de jean31, postée le 15-09-2007 à 21:13:53 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Les voici, balisées en rouge.

My parents told me an anecdote which had arrived at us when we were on vacation on the islands of the Indian ocean. I don’t remember it because I was a too much young person but thanks to my father who filmed all that he saw I could take part in this anecdote with the videos. It was one evening when we were in the restaurant with the family, (nouvelle phrase SVP !)=>there was an orchestra native to the island where we were which put the ambiance. A waiter came to take our order and the language barrier left place in some misundertansdings. Indeed, given that I danced in my stroller, my parents liked to know a little more about the music group which played. But the waiter, having seen me dancing in my stroller, thought that they would like that I go up on stage with the musicians and the singer woman. So, he went to speak with the group and finally, during a pause, one of the members of the group came to discuss at our table to know if I could come on stage because I was the first child whom they have seen making that. My parents entertained by the situation accepted. And I’m here, on the stage in my stroller to be danced to the rhythm of the music. It seems that this evening there their recipe should be special. Today when I look at pictures it makes me laugh. I don’t go for a walk any more in my stroller but I always dance so much!

* Trop de fautes de langue car ce texte a visiblement été "traduit" du français.
A revoir très sérieusement.


Réponse: An anecdote / correction de frenchy-x3, postée le 15-09-2007 à 21:30:29 (S | E)
Bonsoir, merci d'avoir répondu à mon message. Pour tout vous dire, étant donné que j'apprends l'anglais seule je ne savais vraiment pas comment dire certaines phrases. Voilà, suite à votre message, je m'en vais consulter mes erreurs.


Réponse: An anecdote / correction de frenchy-x3, postée le 15-09-2007 à 22:17:56 (S | E)
Voici ma rédaction revue et corrigée. Je ne sais vraiment pas si c'est juste.

My parents told me an anecdote which arrived to us when we were on vacation on the islands of the Indian ocean. I don’t remember it because I was a too young person but thanks to my father who filmed all that he saw I could take part in this anecdote with the videos. It was one evening when we were in the restaurant with the family. There was an orchestra coming from the island where we were which put the ambiance. A waiter came to take our order and the language barrier caused us some misunderstandings. Indeed, given that I was dancing in my stroller, my parents would like to know a little more about the music group which played. But the waiter, having seen me dancing in my stroller, thought that they would like I went up on stage with the musicians and the singer. So, he went to speak with the group and finally, during a pause, one of the members of the group came to discuss at our table to know if I could come on stage because I was the first child whom they have seen made that. My parents entertained by the situation accepted. And I’m here, on the stage in my stroller dancing to the rhythm of the music. It seems that this evening there their recipe was special. Today when I look at pictures it makes me laugh. I don’t go for a walk any more in my stroller but I always dance so much!




Réponse: An anecdote / correction de jenny62, postée le 15-09-2007 à 23:58:31 (S | E)
bonjour!!!

je suis en 1ere année de bts et jaimerais un petit coup de pouce pour ma présentation que jai à faire pour LUNDI!!!!!!!!!!!!alors voila ce que jai fait:

1/I can say what I did last year, what I learnt.
- Last year, I was in a first year of history (première année licence histoire) in an university in Lille. I meanly learnt history modern and contemporary.

2/ I can talk about one activity I did in July or August.
- In August I went away on holiday during one week in Ain near of Haute Savoie. I went for a walk in mountain. I visited Annecy and I went boating (jai fait du bateau) on the Lac. Too,I went in chamonix but I don't to go up in 'Pic du midi" because weather not permitting.Next, I visited Aoste in Italy. (jaimerai dire "pour cela") I take tunnel of Mont Blanc.
For to come back I passed in Paris and I visited a muséum of Louvre, I went for a walk in Champs-Élysée...

3/ I can tell about my best memory and/or my worst memory.
- Ici je dois raconter mon meilleur souvenir et/ou mon pire... c'est bien ca?

4/ I can explain one of my qualities, one of my defects.
- I think that my patience is one of my qualities, however I am stubborn.

5/ I can describe my favourtie object.
- La pareil je comprend pas trop la question!!si quelqun peut me dire!!

6/ I can describe where I live.
- I lives in *** in a house in the town.

7/ I can takl about the sports I play, my hobbies, my friends.
- I play from time to time badminton, squash and a little tennis for a fun.

j'attend quelques conseils car l'anglais c'est pas ce que je préfère!!!Merci d'avance.


-------------------
Modifié par jenny62 le 16-09-2007 00:00


Réponse: An anecdote / correction de izvestya, postée le 16-09-2007 à 01:19:26 (S | E)
Réponse: Rédaction de jenny62, postée le 15-09-2007 à 23:58:31 (S | E)
bonjour!!!

je suis en 1ere année de bts et jaimerais un petit coup de pouce pour ma présentation que jai à faire pour LUNDI!!!!!!!!!!!!alors voila ce que jai fait:

1/I can say what I did last year, what I learnt.
- Last year, I took the first year of a history degree/was on the first year of a history course at a university in Lille. I mainly learnt modern history. (l'histoire contemporaine does not carry across to English - it's all just
modern history to us)

2/ I can talk about one activity I did in July or August.
- In August I went away on holiday for one week, to Ain, near Haute Savoie. I went for a walk in the mountains. I visited Annecy and I went boating (jai fait du bateau) on the Lac. I went to chamonix too but I didn't go up to 'Pic du midi" because the weather did not permit/did not allow it.Next, I visited Aoste in Italy. (jaimerai dire "pour cela") To do this, I took the Mont Blanc tunnel.
Coming back I stayed in Paris and I visited the Louvre and went for a walk on the Champs-Élysée...

3/ I can tell about my best memory and/or my worst memory.
- Ici je dois raconter mon meilleur souvenir et/ou mon pire... c'est bien ca? - yes.

4/ I can explain one of my qualities, one of my defects.
- I think that my patience is one of my qualities, however I am stubborn.

5/ I can describe my favourtie object.
- La pareil je comprend pas trop la question!!si quelqun peut me dire!!

6/ I can describe where I live.
- I live in *** in a house in the town. (N.B. 'in the town of....' only if you then name the town; otherwise, for the idea of urban living generally, just 'in town')

7/ I can takl about the sports I play, my hobbies, my friends.
- I play badminton from time to time, squash and a little tennis for fun.

j'attend quelques conseils car l'anglais c'est pas ce que je préfère!!!Merci d'avance.


-------------------
Modifié par jenny62 le 16-09-2007 00:00


Réponse: An anecdote / correction de monigi, postée le 16-09-2007 à 01:39:45 (S | E)
essaie de penser en anglais,avec des mots simples


Réponse: An anecdote / correction de jean31, postée le 16-09-2007 à 10:20:03 (S | E)
Bonjour frenchy-x3,

Voici un bon coup de main.
Les passages balisés en majuscules sont ceux qui posaient encore problème.

My parents told me an anecdote which HAPPENED to us when we were on vacation on the islands of the Indian ocean. I don’t remember it because I was a MUCH TOO young person but thanks to my father who filmed all that he saw I could take part in this anecdote with the videos. It was one evening when we were in A restaurant with the family. There was an orchestra, coming from the island where we were STAYING, WHO WERE PLAYING SOME BACKGROUND MUSIC. A waiter came to take our order and the language barrier caused us some misunderstandings. Indeed, given that I was dancing in my stroller, my parents would HAVE likeD to know a little more about the music group whO WERE playING. But the waiter, having seen me dancing in my stroller, thought that they WANTED ME TO GO up on stage with the musicians and the singer. So, he went to speak with the group and finally, during a pause, one of the members of the group came to discuss at our table to know if I could come on stage because I was the first child whom they haD seen DO that. My parents, entertained by the situation, accepted. And I’m here, on the stage in my stroller dancing to the rhythm of the music. It seems that this evening there their recipe was special. Today, when I look at THOSE pictures, THEY make me laugh. I don’t go for a walk any more in my stroller but I STILL dance so much!

* N'hésite pas à questionner si tu veux des explications détaillées et justifiées...


Réponse: An anecdote / correction de frenchy-x3, postée le 16-09-2007 à 11:27:12 (S | E)
Bonjour je vous suis reconnaissante de m'apporter votre aide. J'ai compris la grande majorité de mes fautes cependant je ne comprends pas la suivante: "I don’t remember it because I was a MUCH TOO young person...". J'ai toujours vu "too much" et non "much too", est-ce que cela a la même signification?
Merci d'avance!




Réponse: An anecdote / correction de jean31, postée le 16-09-2007 à 15:19:47 (S | E)
a much too young person = une personne beaucoup trop jeune, comme dans ta première version, où le double adverbe modifie l'adjectif.

too much = trop, s'emploie après un verbe ou devant un indénombrable.
Ex. I work too much. He spends too much money on cars.

Est-ce plus clair à présent ?

-------------------
Modifié par jean31 le 16-09-2007 15:35


Réponse: An anecdote / correction de frenchy-x3, postée le 16-09-2007 à 16:09:51 (S | E)
Tout à fait, c'est vraiment plus clair! Je vous remercie encore une fois de m'avoir apporté votre aide.




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