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Sydney/correction
Message de zivalouna posté le 11-11-2007 à 06:31:01 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à tous, J’aurais besoins de votre aide pour corriger le paragraphe que j’ai écrit répondant à la question : Pourquoi j’aimerais aller à Sydney ? Mon niveau en anglais est très faible donc je suppose que mon travail doit avoir des erreurs de toutes sortes… désolée ! Voilà mon paragraphe est ci-dessous n’hésitez surtout pas si vous le souhaitez à apporter des corrections radicales si besoin est, aussi si vous voulez rajouter des choses sur Sydney ne vous en privez pas ! Je vous remercie d’avance pour votre aide !
I would go to Sydney as a city that is ready to dream with its modernity, its diverse population, its department stores…
If I go to Sydney, first as I love fun I go to the beach swimming and sailing with my friends. Then we would go to eat in a restaurant overlooking the sea… Then I go with my family to visit the Royal Botanic Gardens, as well as museums and wildlife reserves. So I take part in a parade of dragons, and I go to the opera. I visit the famous places like the Sydney Harbour and Sydney Harbour Bridge. Sydney and also known to be a very modern city, I suppose that this city has therefore great stores and me I'd love shopping with my friends.
Finally, this trip will allow me to make new acquaintances alike.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-11-2007 07:17
+ titre
Message de zivalouna posté le 11-11-2007 à 06:31:01 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à tous, J’aurais besoins de votre aide pour corriger le paragraphe que j’ai écrit répondant à la question : Pourquoi j’aimerais aller à Sydney ? Mon niveau en anglais est très faible donc je suppose que mon travail doit avoir des erreurs de toutes sortes… désolée ! Voilà mon paragraphe est ci-dessous n’hésitez surtout pas si vous le souhaitez à apporter des corrections radicales si besoin est, aussi si vous voulez rajouter des choses sur Sydney ne vous en privez pas ! Je vous remercie d’avance pour votre aide !
I would go to Sydney as a city that is ready to dream with its modernity, its diverse population, its department stores…
If I go to Sydney, first as I love fun I go to the beach swimming and sailing with my friends. Then we would go to eat in a restaurant overlooking the sea… Then I go with my family to visit the Royal Botanic Gardens, as well as museums and wildlife reserves. So I take part in a parade of dragons, and I go to the opera. I visit the famous places like the Sydney Harbour and Sydney Harbour Bridge. Sydney and also known to be a very modern city, I suppose that this city has therefore great stores and me I'd love shopping with my friends.
Finally, this trip will allow me to make new acquaintances alike.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-11-2007 07:17
+ titre
Réponse: Sydney/correction de gee, postée le 11-11-2007 à 08:31:09 (S | E)
I don't really understand how it works. I read that Lucile posted a correction but I couldn't get it.
Anyway, this is another way Zivaluna could have wrote her essay.
I would like to go to Sydney, a dreamland to me with its modernity, its mixed population, its department stores…
If I went to Sydney, as I am fun addicted, I would first rush to the beach to swim and sail with my friends. Thereafter we would have a bite in a restaurant overlooking the sea…
With my family I would rather visit the Royal Botanic Gardens, museums and wildlife reserves.
Be sure I would manage to take part in a parade of dragons. I would also have a look at the avant-garde architecture opera house and maybe attend a play. I would visit the harbour either, and its famous bridge.
As Sydney is well-known for being a very modern city, I suppose it has great stores where I would love shopping with my friends.
Even if I would be doing so many things getting along with friends and family, this trip would be bound to getting me a lot of new acquaintances.
Wow! Let's go!
Réponse: Sydney/correction de zivalouna, postée le 13-11-2007 à 14:08:56 (S | E)
Désolée, pour le retard! Je vous remercie pour votre aide!
