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Rapport en anglais (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Rapport en anglais
Message de pierre-yves posté le 17-11-2007 à 23:11:14 (S | E | F | I)

Bonsoir!
Voilà l'exercice que j'ai à préparer : je dois rédiger un rapport pour une banque (Auric Bank) qui veut réduire les coûts de ses call centres. Je dois étudier 4 possibilités à savoir, garder les call centres en Angleterre, ou délocaliser: en Ecosse, en Afrique du sud et en Inde.
J'ai un modèle,le nom des rubriques n'est donc pas à changer. Par contre, quelques phrases me posent problème : celles en italiques). J'aimerais bien sûr savoir si mes phrases sont correctes et s'il n'y a pas trop de répétitions. J'aimerais aussi savoir si le titre "Call centres’ location report" vous semble adapté. Toutes les remarques sont les bienvenues pour améliorer mon travail :D .

Auric bank

Call centres’ location report

Executive summary
Afin de ne pas répéter les erreurs commises par le passé les différentes pistes de réorganisation des call centres ont été attentivement étudiées.
We can rise tow areas of reflection. The first one consist in keep the call centres in Europe with a view to maintain a certain closeness with customers. The second one, take an interest on developing countries.


Introduction
This report will look at:
• Keep call centres in Europe:
o Keep the call centre in-house
o Scotland
• Outsource the call centres to companies based in developing countries :
o South Africa
o India
• Recommendations for action

Findings:
1.1 If we kept the call centres in South England, we should do some cost savings. By using more part-time employee, reducing the hours of business centres and increasing the targets for the number of calls handled per hour, we can expect savings up to £3 millions. Nevertheless cost running, £16 million for the next five years, stay important.

1.2 Orion plc is a new Scottish firm wich could allow us to save £6 millions in relation to the first option. It has several contact with big companies that’s why it have some experience in running call centres although its lines suffer of bad reputation.

2.2 Resource plc is settled in Capte Town, South Africa. It has built up a reputation for reliability and good service. It is a very experienced firm wich is able to set up and run call centres; like this cost will be split in two in respect to the first situation.

2.3 The less expensive option is X-source, an Indian company located in Bangalore. As Indian economy X-source is fast growing that’s why it has no problems hiring a low cost staff. In this case, cost runnig add up to £5,5 million for the next five years.

Conclusions
In current state, we have to do important cost savings, thus les deux premières the option are insufficient. Les deux dernières quant à elles emperil the AG’s image of a “caring bank” wich is close to its customers and understands theirs needs.

Recommandations
As numerous occidental companies, we should focus our research on countries with a low cost workforce as India and South Africa. Both countries seem to be more adapted to reach the main goal of AB, they have to be more closely analysed toutes deux ayant des caractéristiques qui leur sont propres . Resource plc benefit from a good experience in this domain and X-source is dynamic enterprise wich is envolved on a growing market.



Merci d'avance

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 17-11-2007 23:13


Réponse: Rapport en anglais de gee, postée le 18-11-2007 à 01:58:30 (S | E)
I don't feel able to revise your article. However I take the liberty to give you my opinion about things that don't seem right to me.

Call centres’ location report
The 's genetive insists on the fact that the call centers are decisive in fixing their location. Though that's untrue.


Executive summary
Afin de ne pas répéter les erreurs commises par le passé [you could start with: To prevent + -ing form] les différentes pistes de réorganisation des call centres ont été attentivement étudiées.
We can rise tow areas of reflection.[?? -> We can outline a pair of prospects/or/We can outline alternative prospects.]
The first one consistS in keepING the call centres in Europe with a view to keeping close proximity to customers. The second one, take an interest on [in?] developing countries.[what do you mean by take an interest? is it taking advantage of relocation in developing countries?]

This report will look at: [look at + -ing form -> keeping, outsourcing.../or/ The purpose of present report is to study the pros and the cons of
1. Call centres in Europe:
o Keeping the call centre in-house
o Moving to Scotland
2. Outsourcing call centres to companies based in developing countries :
o South Africa
o India
3. It also sets up recommendations for action.

Findings:
1.1 If we kept the call centres in South England, we should do some cost savings. By using more part-time employees, reducing the (number of working) hours of business centres and increasing the targets for the number of calls handled per hour, we can expect savings up to £3 millions [you had better cut the final s]. Nevertheless cost running, £16 million for the next five years, stay important.

1.2 Orion plc is a new Scottish firm which could allow us to save £6 million(cut the s) in relation to the first option. It has several contact(put here the s saved from the £6 million) with big companies, that’s why it have some experience in running call centres although its lines suffer of bad reputation. [it has some experience... or they have some experience... although its lines /or/ their lines - to suffer from bad reputation or simply to suffer a bad reputation (trans.verb)]

2.2 Resource plc is settled in Capte Town [Cape Town?], South Africa. It has built up a reputation for reliability and good service. It is a very experienced firm wich [you often miss a h in that pronoun] is able to set up and run call centres; like this cost will be split in two in respect to the first situation.[this last sentence is not understandable. Do you mean that the costs of that option should be cut by 50%? What is the first situation? Maybe you mean that this option would cut by 50% the costs incurred at present.]

2.3 The less expensive option is X-source, an Indian company located in Bangalore. As Indian economy X-source is fast growing, that’s why it has no problems hiring a[I'd cut that a] low cost staff.[You should cut off either the starting 'As', or the 'that's why' to make the sentence stand up.] In this case, cost running add[s?] up to £5,5 million for the next five years.

Conclusions
In current state, we have to do important cost savings, thus/so les deux premières the option are insufficient [-> do not fit the bill.]. Les deux dernières quant à elles emperil the AG’s image of a “caring bank” wich(h) stands close to its customers and understands theirs needs.

Recommandations
As numerous occidental companies, we should focus our research on countries with a low cost workforce as India and South Africa. Both countries seem to be more adapted to reach the main goal of AB, they have to be more closely analysed, toutes deux [both] ayant des caractéristiques qui leur sont propres [particular features] . Resource plc benefit[+s] from a good experience in this domain and X-source is [a] dynamic enterprise wich[+?] is envolved on [->in] a growing market.



Réponse: Rapport en anglais de pierre-yves, postée le 18-11-2007 à 14:55:11 (S | E)
Thanks for your correction, it helps me so much.

Quelqu'un pour m'aider sur les phrases en français?




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