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Norman and Leah (correction)
Message de banane333 posté le 19-12-2007 à 14:13:01 (S | E | F | I)
J'ai d'énormes soucis avec mon anglais, donc je viens ici demander à tous ceux susceptible de m'aider d'essayer de me faire part de mes erreurs!merci
Quand la guerre fut finit, Norman and Leah continuait de se voir secrètement. Il s’aimaient énormément. Mais, eu bout de quelques mois, ils en avaient marre de se cacher. Et décidèrent de s’installer ensemble dans le Maine, dans une petite maison de campagne. Les quelques voisins étaient blancs. Ils s’étonnèrent de voir ce couple. Ils paraissaient méprisants et menaçants. Quelques temps après, Norman et Leah reçurent une lettre anonyme qui contenait des injures ainsi que des menaces. Leah avait peur, elle se sentait rejetée. Quand à Norman, il ne prit pas la lettre au sérieux. Petit à petit, les choses allaient de mal en pis. Sur leur porte d’entrée, avait été marqué des injures. Et un jour, Norman et Leah retrouvèrent leur maison brûlée. For this reason, Norman et Leah prirent la décision de partir.
Ils allèrent dans le new Hampshire. Là bas, la majorité de leurs voisins étaient noir. Les voisins étaient surpris mais tolérant. Ainsi, Norman et Leah se sentait mieux. Ici, les gens étaient plus tolérants. Depuis longtemps, Norman n’avait pas revu ses parents. Pour lui, il était important de présenter sa femme à sa famille. Leah semblait d’accord pour les rencontrer, même si elle avait peur de leur réaction. Deux jours plus tard, ils se rendirent dans le Vermont, pour rencontrer la famille de Norman. Quand ils sont arrivés, la mère de Norman le serra dans ses bras. Mais elle le relâcha aussi tôt lorsqu’elle vu Leah. Elle jeta un méchant regard à Norman. Elle ne comprenait pas, alors Norman lui présenta Leah. La joie de sa mère retomba, et une mauvaise ambiance se fut sentir. Mais elle salua quand même Leah. Norman était déçu par l’attitude de sa mère. Leah voulait s’enfuir. Puis le père arriva, il avait vu la scène à travers la fenêtre. Sans aucun scrupule, il demanda à son fils pourquoi il avait choisi une noire, sans même lui dire bonjour. Norman prit la défense de Leah, qui se mit à pleurer. Son père était intolérant. Sa mère proposa de rentrer dans la maison. Personne n’osait se regarder, Norman essaya de commencer à parler, mais son père s’en alla. Norman se mit en colère. Il disait à son père, s’il ne comprenait pas qu’il pense comme tous les autres. La couleur de peau ne fait pas d’une personne un monstre. C’est une personne comme les autres. Son père le répondu rien. Leah, partit en courant. Norman le rattrapa. Leah pleurait, Norman essaya de la réconforter. Leah pensait qu’elle ne le méritait pas et qu’elle détruisait sa vie. Norman la contredisait, il ne pensait pas du tout comme ses parents. Depuis ce jour, Norman n’a jamais revu ses parents.
When the war was finishes, Norman and Leah continued to see itself secretly. He liked each other enormously. But, had end of some months, they had it have a good laugh to hide. And decided to settle down together in Maine, in small country house. Some neighbours were white. . After a while, Norman and Leah received an anonymous letter which contained insults as well as threats. Leah was afraid, she felt thrown back. When to Norman, he did not take the letter seriously. Little by little, Things went from bad to worse. On their front door, had been marked with the insults. And one day, Norman and Leah found their burned house. For this reason, Norman and Leah made the decision to leave.
They went to the new Hampshire. There low, the majority of their neighbours were black. The neighbours were surprised but tolerant. So, Norman and Leah felt better. Here, people were more tolerant. For a long time, Norman had not seen again his parents. For him, it was important to present his wife to its family. Leah seemed all right to meet them, even if she was afraid of their reaction. . Two days later, they went in the Vermont, to meet Norman's family. When they arrived, the mother of Norman squeezed him in the arms. But she loosened him so early when sheseen Leah. She threw a miserable glance to Norman. She did not understand, then Norman presented him Leah. The enjoyment of his mother fell again, and a bad atmosphere was to feel0 . But shegreeted all the same Leah. Norman was disappointed by the attitude of his mother. Leah wanted to run away. Then the father arrived, he had seen the scene through the window. Without any scruple, he asked his son why he had chosen a black, without saying hello to himeven. Norman took the defence of Leah, which began crying. His father was intolerant. His mother suggested going into the house. Nobody dared to look, Norman tried to begin to speak, but his father went away. Norman got angry. He said to his father, if he did not understand that he thinks as all the others. The skin colour does not make of a person a monster. It is a person as the others. His father the answered nothing. Leah, left by running. Norman caught up him. Leah thought that she did not deserve him and that she destroyed her life. Norman contradicted her, he thought in no way as his parents. For this day, Norman has never revised his parents.
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Modifié par bridg le 19-12-2007 14:16
Il est demandé aux membres qui auront la gentillesse de répondre de signaler les fautes, d'aider le demandeur à se corriger mais de ne jamais faire le travail à sa place. Cette règle est incontournable sur ce site d'apprentissage. Merci de votre participation.
Message de banane333 posté le 19-12-2007 à 14:13:01 (S | E | F | I)
J'ai d'énormes soucis avec mon anglais, donc je viens ici demander à tous ceux susceptible de m'aider d'essayer de me faire part de mes erreurs!merci
Quand la guerre fut finit, Norman and Leah continuait de se voir secrètement. Il s’aimaient énormément. Mais, eu bout de quelques mois, ils en avaient marre de se cacher. Et décidèrent de s’installer ensemble dans le Maine, dans une petite maison de campagne. Les quelques voisins étaient blancs. Ils s’étonnèrent de voir ce couple. Ils paraissaient méprisants et menaçants. Quelques temps après, Norman et Leah reçurent une lettre anonyme qui contenait des injures ainsi que des menaces. Leah avait peur, elle se sentait rejetée. Quand à Norman, il ne prit pas la lettre au sérieux. Petit à petit, les choses allaient de mal en pis. Sur leur porte d’entrée, avait été marqué des injures. Et un jour, Norman et Leah retrouvèrent leur maison brûlée. For this reason, Norman et Leah prirent la décision de partir.
Ils allèrent dans le new Hampshire. Là bas, la majorité de leurs voisins étaient noir. Les voisins étaient surpris mais tolérant. Ainsi, Norman et Leah se sentait mieux. Ici, les gens étaient plus tolérants. Depuis longtemps, Norman n’avait pas revu ses parents. Pour lui, il était important de présenter sa femme à sa famille. Leah semblait d’accord pour les rencontrer, même si elle avait peur de leur réaction. Deux jours plus tard, ils se rendirent dans le Vermont, pour rencontrer la famille de Norman. Quand ils sont arrivés, la mère de Norman le serra dans ses bras. Mais elle le relâcha aussi tôt lorsqu’elle vu Leah. Elle jeta un méchant regard à Norman. Elle ne comprenait pas, alors Norman lui présenta Leah. La joie de sa mère retomba, et une mauvaise ambiance se fut sentir. Mais elle salua quand même Leah. Norman était déçu par l’attitude de sa mère. Leah voulait s’enfuir. Puis le père arriva, il avait vu la scène à travers la fenêtre. Sans aucun scrupule, il demanda à son fils pourquoi il avait choisi une noire, sans même lui dire bonjour. Norman prit la défense de Leah, qui se mit à pleurer. Son père était intolérant. Sa mère proposa de rentrer dans la maison. Personne n’osait se regarder, Norman essaya de commencer à parler, mais son père s’en alla. Norman se mit en colère. Il disait à son père, s’il ne comprenait pas qu’il pense comme tous les autres. La couleur de peau ne fait pas d’une personne un monstre. C’est une personne comme les autres. Son père le répondu rien. Leah, partit en courant. Norman le rattrapa. Leah pleurait, Norman essaya de la réconforter. Leah pensait qu’elle ne le méritait pas et qu’elle détruisait sa vie. Norman la contredisait, il ne pensait pas du tout comme ses parents. Depuis ce jour, Norman n’a jamais revu ses parents.
When the war was finishes, Norman and Leah continued to see itself secretly. He liked each other enormously. But, had end of some months, they had it have a good laugh to hide. And decided to settle down together in Maine, in small country house. Some neighbours were white. . After a while, Norman and Leah received an anonymous letter which contained insults as well as threats. Leah was afraid, she felt thrown back. When to Norman, he did not take the letter seriously. Little by little, Things went from bad to worse. On their front door, had been marked with the insults. And one day, Norman and Leah found their burned house. For this reason, Norman and Leah made the decision to leave.
They went to the new Hampshire. There low, the majority of their neighbours were black. The neighbours were surprised but tolerant. So, Norman and Leah felt better. Here, people were more tolerant. For a long time, Norman had not seen again his parents. For him, it was important to present his wife to its family. Leah seemed all right to meet them, even if she was afraid of their reaction. . Two days later, they went in the Vermont, to meet Norman's family. When they arrived, the mother of Norman squeezed him in the arms. But she loosened him so early when sheseen Leah. She threw a miserable glance to Norman. She did not understand, then Norman presented him Leah. The enjoyment of his mother fell again, and a bad atmosphere was to feel0 . But shegreeted all the same Leah. Norman was disappointed by the attitude of his mother. Leah wanted to run away. Then the father arrived, he had seen the scene through the window. Without any scruple, he asked his son why he had chosen a black, without saying hello to himeven. Norman took the defence of Leah, which began crying. His father was intolerant. His mother suggested going into the house. Nobody dared to look, Norman tried to begin to speak, but his father went away. Norman got angry. He said to his father, if he did not understand that he thinks as all the others. The skin colour does not make of a person a monster. It is a person as the others. His father the answered nothing. Leah, left by running. Norman caught up him. Leah thought that she did not deserve him and that she destroyed her life. Norman contradicted her, he thought in no way as his parents. For this day, Norman has never revised his parents.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 19-12-2007 14:16
Il est demandé aux membres qui auront la gentillesse de répondre de signaler les fautes, d'aider le demandeur à se corriger mais de ne jamais faire le travail à sa place. Cette règle est incontournable sur ce site d'apprentissage. Merci de votre participation.
Réponse: Norman and Leah (correction) de banane333, postée le 19-12-2007 à 17:24:44 (S | E)
J'ai essayé de me corriger!! Voilà ma noucelle traduction!
After, the war had finished, Norman and Leah continued to see each other secretly. They loved each other enormously. However, after several months, they were fed up with hiding themselves. And they decided to settle together in the Main, in a little cottage. Their few neighbours were white. They were surprised to see this couple. They seemed scorful and threatening.After a while, Norman and Leah received an anonymous letter that contained insults and threats. Leah was afraid, she felt excluded back. As for Norman, he did not take the letter seriously. Little by little, Things went from bad to worse. There were insults written on their front door.And one day, Norman and Leah found their burned house. For this reason, Norman and Leah made the decision to leave.
They went to the new Hampshire. There low, the majority of their neighbours were black. The neighbours were surprised but tolerant. So, Norman and Leah felt better. Here, people were more tolerant. For a long time, Norman had not seen again his parents. For him, it was important to present his wife to its family. Leah seemed all right to meet them, even if she was afraid of their reaction. . Two days later, they went in the Vermont, to meet Norman's family. When they arrived, the mother of Norman squeezed him in the arms. But she loosened him so early when sheseen Leah. She threw a miserable glance to Norman. She did not understand, then Norman presented him Leah. The enjoyment of his mother fell again, and a bad atmosphere was to feel . Leah wanted to left. Then the father arrived, he had seen the scene through the window. Without any scruple, he asked his son why he had choosen a black girl, without saying hello. Norman defended Leah, who began to cry. His father was intolerant. His mother suggested to go into the house. Nobody dared to look, Norman tried to begin to speak, but his father went away. Norman got angry. He said to his father, if he did not understand that he thinks as all the others. The skin colour does not make of a person a monster. It is a person like the others. His father answered nothing. Leah left by running. Norman caught up her. Leah thought that she did not deserve him and that she destroyed her life. Norman contradicted her, he thought in no way as his parents. For this day, Norman has never seen his parents again.
Réponse: Norman and Leah (correction) de marlond, postée le 19-12-2007 à 23:34:03 (S | E)
J'ai fait la première partie, mais c'est un texte très long! Je ferai le deuxième plus tard si j'aurai le temps.
marlond
After, [why a comma?] the war had finished, Norman and Leah continued to see each other secretly. They loved each other enormously. However, after several months, they were fed up with hiding themselves [it would be better to use the verb ‘to hide oneself away’ rather than just ‘to hide’]. And they decided to settle together in the Main[e] [spelt with an ‘e’, if it refers to the state in US?], in a little cottage. Their few neighbours were white. They were surprised to see this couple. They seemed scorful [spelling error] and threatening.After a while, Norman and Leah received an anonymous letter that contained insults and [‘and’ doesn’t convey ‘ainsi que’ – literally ‘as well as’, but that sounds clumsy, so I’d suggest ‘insults and even threats’] threats. Leah was afraid, she felt excluded back [there is no verb phrase ‘to exclude back’ – ‘to exclude’ exists]. As for Norman, he did not take the letter seriously. Little by little, Things [why a capital T?] went from bad to worse. There were insults written on their front door.And one day, Norman and Leah found their burned house [word order: e.g. ‘I returned home to find that the washing up had been done’ -> ‘I returned home to find [that] the washing up [had been] done’ -> ‘...to find the washing up done’ – so, in your sentence, you need to move the adjective] . For this reason, Norman and Leah made the decision to leave.
