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correction d'un paragraphe
Message de zivalouna posté le 28-02-2008 à 09:39:13 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, pourriez vous me corriger ce petit texte SVP? Le voici:
Project Description
My friends and I are going to set up a committee of fair trade in our school. On the one hand, we will set up a booth twice a week in the main area of the school with posters and pamphlets on fair trade. Thus our main goal is to raise awareness of the fair trade. On the other hand, we also support fair trade by promoting our school to use fair trade for fundraisers, vending machines, and cafeteria; spreading the word, and more…
To mark the beginning of the Fortnight fair, the committee members will be in the city centre, in order to encourage people to peel, snacks, wear it, and make Fairtrade part of their daily lives. We can sell chocolate, coffee, tea, handicrafts, garments, and more… Finally, as in high school, we can create stands information on how to become a responsible consumer and an active agent to halt to poverty.
As a result, we rely on your help to make trade fair for all.
Je vous remercie d'avance!
Message de zivalouna posté le 28-02-2008 à 09:39:13 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, pourriez vous me corriger ce petit texte SVP? Le voici:
Project Description
My friends and I are going to set up a committee of fair trade in our school. On the one hand, we will set up a booth twice a week in the main area of the school with posters and pamphlets on fair trade. Thus our main goal is to raise awareness of the fair trade. On the other hand, we also support fair trade by promoting our school to use fair trade for fundraisers, vending machines, and cafeteria; spreading the word, and more…
To mark the beginning of the Fortnight fair, the committee members will be in the city centre, in order to encourage people to peel, snacks, wear it, and make Fairtrade part of their daily lives. We can sell chocolate, coffee, tea, handicrafts, garments, and more… Finally, as in high school, we can create stands information on how to become a responsible consumer and an active agent to halt to poverty.
As a result, we rely on your help to make trade fair for all.
Je vous remercie d'avance!
Réponse: correction d'un paragraphe de gee, postée le 29-02-2008 à 17:44:19 (S | E)
Here are my modest remarks, Zivaluna.
But first and foremost, proficiat!
... promoting our school to use...
I think it's not your school that you want to promote. Don't you mean ... by spurring on (or: by driving) our school to using fair trade... ?
I'd add the preposition by before spreading, so as to make: ... ; by spreading the word,...
Maybe I am a bit narrow-minded but I can't catch what you mean by ... encourage people to peel, snacks, wear it... I wonder whether people are about to peel all over, to snack, and wear the peels ??Information stands
to halt poverty (to halt is transitive in this context)
I wish you succeed in your action!
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Modifié par bridg le 29-02-2008 17:59
Remarque personnelle du début retirée
Réponse: correction d'un paragraphe de zivalouna, postée le 29-02-2008 à 19:00:04 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide! A bientôt!
