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Lydia (correction) (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Lydia (correction)
Message de manu710 posté le 29-02-2008 à 18:49:56 (S | E | F)

Bonjours a tous, j'aimerais que quelqu'un puisse verifier mon travail et me le corriger ou me dire les fautes! Enfin je demande un petit coup de main mes parents sont pas calé en anglais alors c'est mon dernier recours!

le sujet: If you had been Lydia what you have done?( Lydi win in the loto and she give the money in a orphanage)

If I have been Lydia, I would have keeped 10 000£ because I would have need for the studies, that she is very expansive and I would have will offer gifts to my familie and my friends, so I would have keeped 10 000£

But I am generous, sensitive and I like helping! Then I would have gived 6000£ for associations, examples: UNICEF, The Red Cross and AIDS.

Why I would have gived the money to UNICEF?

Because UNICEF help to the poor children's. They give books, pens,... in order to the children can go to school. So UNICEF it's very important in the world. Therefore I would have gived 2000£ for UNICEF.

Why I would have gived the money to the Red Cross?

Because the Red Cross help to poor people, whose are in the countries, where he had the war or the natural catastrophe. Example: In 2004, a tsunami stroked Indonesia, a lot people have been killed or wounded, so the Red Cross helped to the rescaped. Therefore the Red Cross is very important for the people so I would have gived 2000£ for the Red Cross.

and in end! Why I would have gived the money to AIDS?

Because in the world a lot people have the VIH, A lot children have contracted the VIH ( 530 000 children of less 15s) This illness is very dangerous, because 2.1 millions people are killed in 2007 by the VIH. So AIDS harvest the money for preservatives make. But too the search for find a vaccine so save a lot people from the kill. Therefore I would have gived 2000£ for AIDS.

It's not much but it's always this.

thanks-you.

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 29-02-2008 19:23
Il est demandé aux membres qui auront la gentillesse de répondre de signaler les fautes, d'aider le demandeur à se corriger mais de ne jamais faire le travail à sa place. Cette règle est incontournable sur ce site d'apprentissage. Merci de votre participation.


Réponse: Lydia (correction) de manu710, postée le 29-02-2008 à 20:17:54 (S | E)
Si quelqu'aurais l'ambalité de corriger mon travail pour voir les fautes et m'expliquer! je cherche a porgresser en anglais car cette langue m'interesse beaucoups! merci de votre comprehension! thank you


Réponse: Lydia (correction) de tomtom1001, postée le 29-02-2008 à 20:48:38 (S | E)
Good evening,


If I have(1) been Lydia, I would have keeped(2) 10 000£ because I would have need for the studies, that she(3) is very expensive and I would have will offer(4) gifts to my family and my friends, so I would have keeped(2) 10 000£.

But I am generous, sensitive and I like helping! Then I would have gived (5)6000£ for associations, examples: UNICEF, The Red Cross and AIDS.

Why I would have gived(5) the money to UNICEF?(6)

Because UNICEF helps to the poor children's(7). They give books, pens,... in order to the children can go to school. So UNICEF is very important in the world. Therefore I would have gived(5) 2000£ for UNICEF.

Why I would have gived(5) the money to the Red Cross?(6)

Because the Red Cross helps to poor people, whose(8) are in the countries, where he had the war or the natural catastrophe(9). Example: In 2004, a tsunami stroked(10) Indonesia, a lot people have been killed or wounded, so the Red Cross helped to the rescaped(11). Therefore the Red Cross is very important for the people so I would have gived(5) 2000£ for the Red Cross.

and in end(12)! Why I would have gived(5) the money to AIDS?(6)

Because in the world a lot of people have the VIH, A lot of children have contracted the VIH ( 530 000 children of less(13) 15s). This illness is very dangerous, because 2.1 millions people are killed in 2007 by the VIH. So AIDS harvest the money for preservatives make(14). But too(15) the search for find a vaccine to save a lot people from the kill(16). Therefore I would have gived(5) 2000£ for AIDS.

It's not much but it's always this.(17)



1-C'est "si j'avais été Lydia.." donc on utilise le pluperfect!!

2-Quel est le participe passée de "keep"?

3-C'est "une association" donc c'est "it"!!

4-deux auxiliaires modaux dans une même base verbal....c'est impossible!!

5-Quel est le participe passée de "give"?

6-L'ordre des mots n'est pas le bon!!! Ce n'est pas: "pronom interrogatif + sujet + verbe"!!

7-Pourquoi la marque d'appartenance ('s)... "to help poor children" suffit!!

8-Ce n'est pas le bon pronom relatif!!

9-"il y avait" ne se traduit pas par "he had"!!
Ici "war" et "catastrophe" sont généraux... donc on ne met pas "the"!!

10-Quel est le prétérit de "strike"?

11-Ce n'est pas le bon mot!! Cherches dans un dictionnaire!!

12-Ce n'est pas la bonne expression!!

13-Je ne pense pas que ce soit la bonne expression... à confirmer!!

14-Mal-dit!!

15-Si tu traduit "aussi" par "too", tu dois le placer à la fin de la proposition!!

16-Phrase mal construite: il n'y a pas de verbe conjugué!!


Tu sais...l'usage du dictionnaire permet d'éviter certaines fautes, comme les verbes irréguliers... encore fallait-il prendre la peine de chercher!!



J'espère t'avoir aider malgré tout!!

Bye... tomtom






Réponse: Lydia (correction) de manu710, postée le 29-02-2008 à 21:42:19 (S | E)
j'ai quelques probeleme avec ma corection!!!

If I had been Lydia, I would have kept 10 000£ because I would have need for the studies, that it's very expensive and I would have offer gifts to my family and my friends, so I would have kept 10 000£

But I am generous, sensitive and I like helping! Then I would have given 6000£ for associations, examples: UNICEF, The Red Cross and AIDS.

Why I would have given the money to UNICEF?

Because UNICEF helps to the poor children's. They give books, pens,... in order to the children can go to school. So UNICEF it's very important in the world. Therefore I would have given 2000£ for UNICEF.

Why I would have given the money to the Red Cross?

Because the Red Cross helps poor people, who are in the countries, where he had war or natural catastrophe. Example: In 2004, a tsunami struk Indonesia, a lot people have been killed or wounded, so the Red Cross helped the survivor. Therefore the Red Cross is very important for people so I would have given 2000£ for the Red Cross.

and in end! Why I would have given the money to AIDS?

Because in the world a lot of people have the VIH, A lot of children have contracted the VIH ( 530 000 children of less 15s) This illness is very dangerous, because 2.1 millions people are killed in 2007 by the VIH. So AIDS harvest the money for preservatives make. But too the search for find a vaccine to save a lot people from the kill. Therefore I would have given 2000£ for AIDS.

It's not much but it's always this.

thanks-you.

voila ou j'en suis plus d'explication me serais utiles!


Réponse: Lydia (correction) de manu710, postée le 29-02-2008 à 23:02:18 (S | E)
j'ai fini et je trouve sa:

If I had been Lydia, I would have kept £4000 because I would have needed the money for my studies, which are very expensive and I would have offered gifts to my family and my friends, so I would have kept 10 000£

But I am generous, sensitive and I like helping! Then I would have given £12 000 to associations, for example: UNICEF, The Red Cross and AIDS.

Why would I have given the money to UNICEF?

Because helps poor children's. They give books, pens,ect...so that the children can go to school. So UNICEF is very important in the world. Therefore I would have given £4000 to UNICEF.

Why would I have given the money to the Red Cross?

Because the Red Cross helps poor people, who are in the countries where there is war or natural catastrophes. For example: In 2004, a tsunami struk Indonesia, a lot of people have been killed or wounded, so the Red Cross helped the survivor. Therefore the Red Cross is very important for people so I would have given £4000 to the Red Cross.

and lastly! Why would I have given the money to AIDS?

Because in the world a lot of people suffer from VIH. A lot of children have contracted the VIH ( 530 000 children under 15) This illness is very dangerous and 2.1 millions people were killed in 2007 by VIH. So AIDS harvest money for preservatives produce. But also research to find a vaccine to save a lot of people from death. Therefore I would have given £4000 to AIDS.





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