Correction texte TS (1)
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Correction texte TS
Message de miku35 posté le 22-09-2008 à 17:57:51 (S | E | F)
Salut a tous !
J'aurai besoin de votre aide pour corriger ce commentaire. Merci d'avance a tous ce qui me répondront
Diplomas are in the center of current events. From the reform of the French baccalauréat to the new European university system, “diplomas” topic is in constant movement. Since it apparition in 1808 under the regn of Napoleon 1er, the baccalauréat has deeply changed, up to a point where we can ask us if it has a real utility. Some very graduate students don’t get a job for whom they working hard for many years. Haven’t they worked enough? Do diplomas have a real utility? Have they a value?
We can say that diplomas are very important nowadays. Indeed, in this so selective society, diplomas represent a real advantage to success in life.
Diplomas are very useful to have a good professional situation. Indeed, diplomas guarantee to their titular, a better salary and and a better professional situation than people who are not graduate. For the same work, a graduate will be pay more than a no graduate. More, diplomas allow to progress in the professional environment.
Nowadays, you have to be graduate for every job. From dustman to engineer, you need diplomas in every kind of work. Diplomas doesn’t recompense only the success of an exam, it recompense too the maturity, it reprensent the progression of himself.
Then, diplomas are important even if it doesn’t make everything.
In the same time, we can say that diplomas haven’t a real utility. Many students have lots of diplomas, and at least, they get just small job like barman in a fast food.
Diplomas are not indispensable because many people get on a good life without diplomas. For examples, Richard Brandson, or Bill Gates, one of richest man in the world, haven’t diplomas whereas the have a dream life (Bill Gates get Harvard Diplomas on principle few months ago). It concerns very few people meanwhile. Finally, for success your life, you just have to find a incredible idea or have an incredible talent. It remembers me a broadcast on M6 called “Incroyable Talent”. Useless to waste your time behind this stupid broadcast, out of curiosity, I saw the last episode, the day of the final. The great winner was a man called Raymond, who’s get an incredible idea. He has invented a revolutionary barbecue, where we can grill meat vertically, with the help of two grates. This invention allow to the meat to be more stretch, a revolution in the world of barbecue. The second place was attribuated to a man who can copy the voice of Johnny Hallyday, just for showing you the level (kind) of the show. This kind of broadcast swarm on TV nowadays, especially on TF1 with “Star Academy”, where many great singers revealed (of course, produced by Endemol). We can say that diplomas are just secondary. They don’t determinate the real value, quality of people, they just make difference between them and create tension between elite and low social class. François de Closets relate this in “Le people contre les élites”. Diplomas, and especially the baccalauréat, have less and less value. Indeed, the difference it making before became the common point of students nowadays. Every student registrate in General Grammar School get this diploma, the firs, the second, the third time he tried. A book was published recently about the masquerade of the baccalauréat.
For my mind, I think diplomas are important to get a good future. I think diplomas open the doors of many things, professionally (bien sur), and for the development of himself through study. It’s necessary for defend himself in this society. Well, if diplomas don’t have utilities, why did so many students keep on study? Why did the students stop study after their 16 years old? Teachers will be unemployed, the society couldn’t progress and the economy will be dying.
Merci a tous
Réponse: Correction texte TS de laure95, postée le 23-09-2008 à 11:26:28 (S | E)
Bonjur, voici ce qu'il faut corriger:
- in the center: at the center.
-“diplomas” topic: the "diplomas" topic.
-the regn: orthographe!
- the regn of Napoleon 1er: faire un cas possessif + "1er": à traduire.
- where: pour utiliser "where", il faut que l'antécédent soit un lieu.
- utility: cherche un autre mot.
- whom: pour une personne.
- they working hard for many years: "they working" n'existe pas en anglais.
- Have they a value?: le verbe est HAVE pas HAVE GOT donc tu ne peux pas construire ta question de cette manière.
-to success: success est un nom pas un verbe.
- Indeed: varie tes mots de liaison.
- who are not graduate: graduate est à mettre au participe passé.
- will be pay: même remarque.
- a no graduate: ça ne se dit pas, fais une relative.
-More: more tout seul ne veut rien dire.
- to progress: progress est un nom pas un verbe.
- you have to be graduate: participe passé.
- Diplomas doesn’t recompense: change de verbe + attention: pas un sujet au pluriel avec un verbe ua singulier!
- of an exam: pas la bonne préposition.
-it recompense: même remarque que plus haut + attention à la conjugaison du présent simple!
- it reprensent the progression of himself: même remarque + la suite: traduction mot à mot.
-it doesn’t make everything?
-In the same time: pas la bonne préposition.
- diplomas haven’t a real utility: haven't: pas la forme négative au présent simple de HAVE.
-indispensable: mot français.
-get on a good life,
-For examples: pourquoi un"s"?
- one of richest man: il manque "the" devant le superlatif.
-Bill Gates get: pas le bon temps.
- on principle?
-for success your life.
-a incredible idea: "a" devant un mot commençant par un son consonne.
- It remembers me: pas le bon verbe.
-who’s get?
-This invention allow
-to be more stretch
-for showing : to show.
-many great singers revealed: mettre à la voix passive.
-determinate: à chercher dans le dico.
-François de Closets relate.
-it making?
- before became ?
-Every student registrate.
-For my mind: pas la bonne préposition.
-of himself: of oneself.
- for defend: to defend.
A toi de corriger, maintenant!
Réponse: Correction texte TS de miku35, postée le 23-09-2008 à 19:23:35 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de vos réponses !!!
