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Présentation (correction) (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Présentation (correction)
Message de lizie posté le 10-11-2008 à 19:11:19 (S | E | F)

HI!!
Can u Could you tell me if it's a good English pleaseeeee?
thks Thank you

PRESENTATION
Good Morning Ladies and gentlemen.
For those of you that don’t know me, my name is *******.
I am a pupil of first year at the **** which is a business school in ******.
Thank you for inviting me today.
I am here to speak about the UNITED STATES.
Indeed, I have to handle a subject which holds me heart; I thus thought in the USA.
To begin, I will speak about THE DREAM, MY DREAM which is to live in the UNITED STATES.
After that, I will speak about the daily life in States; Settle down in the USA.
I will keep time for questions at the end of the presentation.


First, I will speak about the dream, my dream, which is to live in the USA.
I will divided into 2 groups this part.
Indeed, I will explain why the usa?
I would like to live in the USA , Simply because it is in a sense another world.
A place where everything seems to me possible; practicable; the place where everything is allowed. A country which seems to represent freedom. Furthermore, this country testifies of the melting-pot, with a large number of different cultures which seems to live more or less in harmony although live some conflicts with notably Latinos.
In this country, we can have the impression to visit several countries at the same time. Indeed, there are many Chinese districts, Latinos, Jews.
What is not very present in France.
But there is also a very big climatic variety, indeed, this country being a very vast country, every place of this country presents well defined characteristics.
In Florida, there are many cyclones.; theweather being for the most part of very warm weather. Contrary to Chicago where Seattle or the climate can be rough.
As regards the activities, the entertainments, the Americans knew how to show imagination.
Indeed, it is from this country where arose the Baseball.
The mentalities are also very different our.
Furthermore, I think that you should not either caricature used them with the MCDO; I think that it is necessary to look more in depth, and to see the history of this country.

Moreover, I would like live in Precise states; like FLORIDA and CALIFORNIA.
Indeed, the UNITED STATES Used them being a very vast country consisted of 50 very different states; it is necessary to study them individually.
Furthermore, NY so known under the name of " BIG Appel " is a city which makes me dream. This city pleases me enormously because it is an alive city; big who never sleeps; and also where is the statue of the freedom.

That was the part which deals with the dream, my dream; to live in the USA.

After this, we can approach the daily life in States; Settle down in the USA.

Secondly, I will speak about the daily life in the usa.

Every State promulgates its laws and appropriate rules.

So, I give you Some advice on your installation.
In the United States, the imperial system is of vigour and the metric system is little known. So on roads, we shall run(drive) in miles rather than in kilometres, we shall measure in thumbs rather than in centimeters (2,54 cm amounts to 1 thumb) and we shall take the temperature fahrenheit rather than in centigrade (32 ° F being the freezing point).
As everywhere in North America, the voltage is 110 volts, so to use European devices, you will need a transformer.
You will not find either the same standards for the VHS and DVD.
There is a jet lag of 6 hours(am) between Paris and New York and 9 hours(am) with the west coast American as Los Angeles.

Social-security card.
As soon as you arrive on the American ground with your working visa, it is important to get to you your social number of safety(security) ( Social Security Number) whom you are worker or whom you are student. This inescapable card(map) will be useful for you for all the steps(initiatives) of the installation among which the driving licence, the opening of an account...
If to

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 10-11-2008 19:13


Réponse: Présentation (correction) de moonlit-sunset, postée le 10-11-2008 à 22:25:40 (S | E)
Bonjour lizie ! Ma langue maternelle n'est pas l'anglais mais je vais tenter quelques corrections (qui sauront probablement à être confirmées et complétées par un/e natif/ve) :

I am a pupil of first year at the **** which is a business school in ******.
=> J'aurais plutôt dit : "I am a first-year pupil" / student

Je ne sais pas comment on dit "tenir à coeur" mais je ne pense pas que ce soit ta proposition.

I thus thought in the USA.
=> J'ai plus vu "thus" en début de phrase.

I will divided into 2 groups this part.
=> Attention, will + infitinif

Indeed, I will explain why the usa?
=> Peut-être qu'il vaut mieux étoffer après le "why"

the place where everything is allowed
=> n'exagérons rien ;)

Furthermore, this country testifies of the melting-pot, with a large number of different cultures which seems to live more or less in harmony although live some conflicts with notably Latinos.
=> Attention à l'accord du verbe ("which seems")
=> Fin de phrase étrange (à partir de although)

Indeed, there are many Chinese districts, Latinos, Jews.
What is not very present in France.
=> Regroupe les 2 phrases en une seule.
=> Mets tous les adjectifs avant districts
=> Phrase "what...in France", es-tu sûr que tu dirais "présent" en français ?

Contrary to Chicago where Seattle or the climate can be rough.
=> Chicago or Seattle where...
=> Peut-être qu'il vaut mieux, ici aussi, regrouper les 2 phrases en une.

As regards the activities, the entertainments, the Americans knew how to show imagination.
=> Je pense qu' "activities" est trop vaste / show n'est peut-être pas le meilleur verbe ici.
=> Je ne suis pas sûre qu'entertainment s'utilise au pluriel... à vérifier !

Indeed, it is from this country where arose the Baseball.
=> pas from et pas where... autre chose

The mentalities are also very different our.
=> to be different from

Furthermore, I think that you should not either caricature used them with the MCDO; I think that it is necessary to look more in depth, and to see the history of this country.
=> La première partie (I think ... McDo) aura beaucoup de mal à être comprise (je l'ai comprise grâce à la suite).

Moreover, I would like live in Precise states; like FLORIDA and CALIFORNIA.
=> contradiction entre le "precise" (sans majuscule au passage) et le "like", même en français, tu ne peux pas dire j'aimerais vivre dans des Etats précis comme la Floride et la Californie.

Indeed, the UNITED STATES Used them being a very vast country consisted of 50 very different states; it is necessary to study them individually.
=> Je ne comprends pas le début de ta phrase, notamment avec le "used them being"

Furthermore, NY so known under the name of " BIG Appel " is a city which makes me dream. This city pleases me enormously because it is an alive city; big who never sleeps; and also where is the statue of the freedom.
=> Fais attention à la ponctuation (pas que cette phrase, de manière générale)
=> La Statue de la Liberté a un nom correspondant en anglais

That was the part which deals with the dream, my dream; to live in the USA.
=> Je me demande s'il doit y avoir concordance des temps comme en français...

So on roads, we shall run(drive) in miles rather than in kilometres, we shall measure in thumbs rather than in centimeters (2,54 cm amounts to 1 thumb) and we shall take the temperature fahrenheit rather than in centigrade (32 ° F being the freezing point).
=> orhographe de "kilomètres" en anglais
=> inverse l'ordre de la parenthèse, c'est plus pratique de partir avec une unité "1" que 2,54
=> in Fahrenheit (units)

so to use European devices, you will need a transformer.
=> in order to (je le trouve plus joli et plus facile à comprendre)

You will not find either the same standards for the VHS and DVD.
=> non plus ? (neither, en début de phrase)



Réponse: Présentation (correction) de moonlit-sunset, postée le 10-11-2008 à 22:34:14 (S | E)

There is a jet lag of 6 hours(am) between Paris and New York and 9 hours(am) with the west coast American as Los Angeles.
=> décalage horaire : time difference
=> pourquoi "am" ?
=> revois l'ordre des mots de la dernière partie (adjectif avant le nom). "As" est-il vraiment ce que tu veux dire ?

Social-security card.
=> Attention, social security aux USA ne signifie pas la même chose qu'en français... (health care)

it is important to get to you your social number of safety(security) ( Social Security Number) whom you are worker or whom you are student.
=> même remarque que précédemment
=> problème avec les "whom" -> que cherches-tu à exprimer ?
=> important for you to get...

This inescapable card(map) will be useful for you for all the steps(initiatives) of the installation among which the driving licence, the opening of an account...
=> what is an "inescapable card" ?
=> settling steps (pas sûre pour installation mais je ne sais pas)

Voilà Ce ne sont que des pistes, j'espère que quelqu'un de plus doué que moi viendra te corriger et moi par la même occasion ^^

Bon courage


Réponse: Présentation (correction) de lizie, postée le 11-11-2008 à 19:54:35 (S | E)
Thank you very much :d for ur help


Réponse: Présentation (correction) de lizie, postée le 14-11-2008 à 19:23:24 (S | E)
Hello.

Could cou tell me if it is good now? pleaseeeeeeee

Thank you very much

PRESENTATION


Good Morning Ladies and gentlemen.
For those of you that don’t know me, my name is ****.
I am a pupil of first year at the *** which is a business school in *****.
Thank you for inviting me today.
I am here to speak about the UNITED STATES.
Indeed, I value the USA.
To begin, I will speak about THE DREAM, MY DREAM which is to live in the UNITED STATES.
After that, I will speak about the daily life in States; Settle down in the USA.
I will keep time for questions at the end of the presentation.



I/First, I will speak about the dream, my dream, which is to live in the USA.
I will divided into 2 groups this part.
Indeed, I will explain whyto live and to work in the usa?
I would like to live in the USA , Simply because it is in a sense another world.
A place where everything seems to me possible; practicable.
A country which seems to represent freedom.
Furthermore, this country testifies of the melting-pot, with a large number of different cultures .
In this country, we can have the impression to visit several countries at the same time.
Indeed, there are many Chinese, Latinos, Jews districts; contrary to France.
But there is also a very big climatic variety, indeed, this country being a very vast country, every place of this country presents well defined characteristics.
In Florida, there are many cyclones.; the weather being for the most part of very warm weather. Contrary to Chicago or Seattle where the climate can be rough.
As regards the sport, the sport the most practiced in the USA is the Baseball.
The mentalities are also very different from our.
Furthermore, I think that it is necessary to stop caricaturing the USA with the MCDO; but it is necessary to understand the history of this country.
Moreover, I would like live in FLORIDA and in CALIFORNIA.
Indeed, the UNITED STATES are being a very vast country with 50 very different states; so it is necessary to study them individually.
Furthermore, NY so known under the name of " BIG Apple " is a city which does me dream. I love this city because it is an alive city; big which never sleeps; and also where is the statue of the Liberty.

That was the part which deals with the dream, my dream; to live in the USA.



After this, we can approach the daily life in States; Settle down in the USA.

II/Secondly, I will speak about the daily life in the USA.


Every State has its laws and appropriate rules.


1° So, here is Some advice on your installation:

In the United States, we do not speak in kilometers, but in miles.
They measure in " Inches" and not in centimeters.

2° Social-security card.

As soon as you arrive in America with your working visa, it is important to get to you your Social Security Number whom you are worker or whom you are student.
This card is necessary to have the driving licence, the opening of an account...
If you accompany your wife, you cannot work in America, you can obtain a card with the mention "not valid for employment".

3°Driving licence

If you want live more than three months in the United States, it is advised to obtain an American licence.
The French driving licences are valid only three months on the American territory, the international driving licences are valid during one year.
His cost is of about twenty dollars.

4°Opening of a bank account
To open a bank account in the United States, it is necessary to have your visa and your number of welfare.
5° Health system

The price of medicines and hospitalization are very expensive in the United States, there is no universal system of health for all, the patient takes in responsibility 100 % of the medical expenses. Before that you leave the France for the United States as tourist or trainee, it is imperative to take an assurance to cover you.


Réponse: Présentation (correction) de lizie, postée le 14-11-2008 à 19:25:15 (S | E)
If you work for an American employer, it is possible that you can benefit from an assurance by him.

6°Accommodation

Generally the accommodation in the United States is more expensive in the big cities than in the other towns. For a small studio in a security district of New York or San Francisco, it is necessary to count least 1000 US $.

7° Types of Visas for the French people

As French people, you have the right to stay in the United States without visa for a maximum journey of tourism or business of 90 days, with a round-trip ticket and your valid passport.
If you want to stay longer, it is necessary to do a demand of visa, for example the visa tourist B2 or a business visa B1.
These last visas are valid for a period of six months but do not authorize to work for an american employer
The visa is necessary to enter in the United States, according to the legislation of the country.

In the case or your employer is a French or international company, you do not have to worry about formalities, generally, administrative departments take care of the formalities bound to the inscription of the exiled entire staff, except when you are the only representative of your spot company.
To obtain your resident's permit, you have to supply to your employer for the constitution of the file certain number of administrative details which it is necessary to foresee before leaving:
- The copy of your passport
- A medical certificate
- A contract of employment
- An extract of police record
- A birth certificate.
Besides the employer has to prove the qualification of the employee for the proposed employment.

Without working visa:
It is strictly forbidden to work in the United States


8° The green card

gives automatically the permanent resident status in the United States.
With this one you can work for any American employer, without limitation, and so live on the American territory during the duration of the validity of the card, that is a period of 10 years.

9° The minimum wage in the United States

The minimum wage in the United States is determined by every State. In Florida, it is around 5 US $ an hour and more than 7 US $ in the state of Michigan.


We’ve seen the daily life in the united states.

Next, I will conclude.


To conclude, I invite you to come to visit this country about which a large number of persons speak; but which nobody really knows notably because of his size

Thank you very much for your attention. Do you have any questions?
I hope you were interested.






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