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Rapport bts (correction) (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Rapport bts (correction)
Message de tiberi posté le 12-11-2008 à 19:13:46 (S | E | F)

Bonjour
Je suis élève en bts electrotechnique , j'ai un rapport de stage a rendre pour demain et je viens de le terminer à l'instant. Mon niveau est très bas et j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un aurait amabilité de corriger mes fautes.
Merci.

To begin with, I would like to thank all persons at the workshop at xxx who help me during my training period and especially:
- Mr. xxx for accepting the realization of this stage.
- My tutor Mr xxx for having managed and also for confidence and freedom he is given me.

My internship took place in xxx company ( xxx is the name of the director). This company exist six years and it is set in Vouziers in the Ardennes. FEGE designs and makes special machines for transport and the farm-produce domain. FEGE has a yes of 49.995 € and has a turnover of 3 060 000 €. xxx is still grows and has even hired around ten persons these last months

To be competitive on the world market of robotics, xxx must do better than its competitors. This firm is very organized, there are two secretaries and one person who manages the transition between the company and the foreign customers, he can speak French, English, Spanish and German. Next, there are ten draughtsmen who invent and draws machines on a computer. In the workshop, there are fifteen employs with ten workmen and five electricians.

My mentor is xxx, he has a very important role in this firm because it’s the company head. He integrated the company at the very beginning and recently he obtained his role of chief of works in this company.

My internship took place from 16 till 27 June 2008 at the end of my first year of BTS in electrotechnics. The company is completely new and everything is organized. I start my day at 8’00, I have lunch between noon and 1 and I finish at 5’00.
The working conditions are very good. During these 2 weeks, I carried out different tasks:
- I helped to assemble machines: it consists of assemble parts for reproduce a conveyor. It’s a command of Laurent Perrier and he will serve to carry bottles from one machine to another.
- I made the inventory of electrical equipment: this task allows for the futur of control and buy if it lack the equipment for staff.
- I made the numbering of cables: this task consists of identify and number each cable for an electrical cupboard.
- I used a lead shot: it consist of clean and give a semblance more aesthetic. It’s a machine who propels micro-ball lead.
- I made the location of an electric cupboard: this task consists of install artfully the electrical equipment on a plate.

I had some problems while practice and the skilled persons were always present to help me or teach me.

During my internship, I made of tasks interest general and tasks relating to my BTS. This period has allowed to see more the job of electrician notably for the practice but I noticed that theoretical knowledge was not used. I could see that teamwork requires members to communicate much.I noticed that the atmospheres between the persons in the company are very good. Everybody work with pleasure. I can conclude that my first experience in this company was good.

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 12-11-2008 19:37
anonymat indispensable


Réponse: Rapport bts (correction) de tiberi, postée le 12-11-2008 à 21:24:20 (S | E)
J'ai mis plusieurs heures à le faire car j'ai beaucoup de difficultés dans cette matière et mon anglais est plutôt mauvais, une brève correction m'apporterai beaucoup.
Merci d'avance.
Cordialement.


Réponse: Rapport bts (correction) de hoger, postée le 12-11-2008 à 21:31:55 (S | E)
To begin with, I would like to thank all the persons at the workshop at xxx who help temps du verbe ! me during my training period and, especially:
- Mr. xxx for accepting the realization of this stage [ vocable ! ].
- My tutor Mr xxx for having managed having managed – what ? and also for the confidence and freedom he is given me.

My internship took place in xxx company. This company exist [ temps du verbe !] six years and it is set in Vouziers in the Ardennes. FEGE designs and makes special machines for transport and the farm-produce domain. FEGE has a yes [ ça veut dire quoi ?] of 49.995 € and has a turnover of 3 060 000 €. xxx is still grows and has even hired around ten persons these last months.

To be competitive on the world market of robotics, xxx must do better than its competitors. This firm is very organized, there are two secretaries and one person who manages the transition [= contact ??] between the company and the foreign customers, he can speak French, English, Spanish and German. Next In addition, there are ten draughtsmen who invent and draws machines on a computer. In the workshop, there are fifteen employs [ 15 emplois ?] with ten workmen [ workers ??] and five electricians.

My mentor is xxx, he has a very important role in this firm because it’s [ "it" = ce truc-là ??] the company head. He integrated [ vocabulaire !] the company at the very beginning and recently he obtained his role of chief of works in this company.

My internship took place from 16 till 27 June 2008 at the end of my first year of BTS in electrotechnics. The company is completely new and everything is organized. I start my day at 8’00 [ c'est compréhensible, mais souvent on note en anglais "8:00" ], I have lunch between noon and 1 o'clock and I finish at 5’00.
The working conditions are very good. During these 2 weeks, I carried out different tasks:
- I helped to assemble machines: it consists of assemble [ "consist of" suivi par verbe en -ing ] parts for reproduce a conveyor. It’s [ temps du verbe !] a command of Laurent Perrier and he will serve to carry bottles from one machine to another.
- I made the inventory of electrical equipment: this task allows for the future of control and buy if it lack the equipment for staff.
- I made the numbering of cables: this task consists of identify and number each cable for an electrical cupboard.

À suivre ⇒


Réponse: Rapport bts (correction) de hoger, postée le 12-11-2008 à 21:45:24 (S | E)
⇒ suite et fin :

- I used a lead shot: it consist [ conjugaison !] of clean [ sens ??] and give [ conjugaison !] a semblance [ vocable !] more aesthetic. It’s a machine who propels micro-ball lead.
- I made the location of an electric cupboard [ vocable à vérifier, je ne m'y connais pas trop ]: this task consists of install [ forme !] artfully [ vocable + position !] the electrical equipment on a plate.

I had some problems while [= pendant que ] practice and the skilled persons were always present to help me or teach me.

During my internship, I made [ c'est l'autre "faire" ] of tasks interest general [ l'ordre des mots !] and tasks relating to my BTS. This period has allowed to see more the job of electrician notably for the practice but I noticed that theoretical knowledge was not used. I could see that teamwork requires members to communicate much. I noticed that the atmospheres between the persons in the company are [ au singulier donc ] very good. Everybody work [ conjugaison !] with pleasure. I can conclude that my first experience in this company was good.

Désolé que ça a pris du temps, mais les textes aussi longs font un peu peur, surtout si on veut faire bien les corrections


Réponse: Rapport bts (correction) de tiberi, postée le 12-11-2008 à 22:28:08 (S | E)

Je vais corriger
Encore Merci


Réponse: Rapport bts (correction) de azer3, postée le 14-11-2008 à 22:31:23 (S | E)
Bon soir.voici le travaille de retardataires.Ainsi c'est mon approche merci de verfier.
firstly, I would like to thank all persons working in the workshop at xxx who helped me during my training period especially:
- Mr. xxx for accepting the realization of this stage.
- My tutor Mr xxx for his management and also for his confidence and his freedom that he gave-it to me.

My internship took place in xxx company ( xxx is the name of the director). This company has existed since six years.It is situated in Vouziers in the Ardennes. FEGE designs and makes special transport machines and works in the farm-produce domain. FEGE has a yes of 49.995 € and a turnover of 3 060 000 €. xxx is still grows and it even hired around ten persons these last months.

To be competitive in the world market of robotics, xxx must do better than its competitors. This firm is very organized, there are two secretaries and one person who manages the transition between the company and the foreign customers, he can speak French, English, Spanish and German. Next, there are ten draughts men who invent and draw machines on a computer. In the workshop, there are fifteen employees with ten worker and five electricians.

My mentor is xxx, he has a very important role in this firm because he’s the company head. He was integrated in the company since her beginning and he recently obtained his role as chief of works in this company.

My internship dates between 16 and 27 June 2008 at the end of my first year of BTS in electrotechnics. The company is completely new and everything is organized. I start my day at 8’00, I have lunch between noon and 13.00 and I finish at 17’00.
Working conditions are very good. During these 2 weeks, I carried out different tasks:
- I helped to assemble the machines: it consists of assembling parts to reproduce a conveyor. It’s a command of Laurent Perrier and he will be served to carry bottles from one machine to another.
- I made the inventory of the electrical equipment: this task allows for the futur of control and buy if it lack the equipment for staff.
- I made the numbering of cables: this task consists of identifing and numbering each cable for an electrical cupboard.
- I used a lead shot: it consist of cleaning and giving an semblance more aesthetic. It’s a machine who propels micro-ball lead.
- I made the location of an electric cupboard: this task consists of installing artfully the electrical equipment on a plate.

I had some problems while practice and the skilled persons were always present to help me or teach me.

During my internship, I made of general tasks interest and tasks relating to my BTS. This period has allowed-me to see more the job of the electrician notably the practice part.However I noticed that theoretical knowledge was not used. I could see that teamwork requires members to communicate more.I noticed that atmospheres between the persons in the company are very good. Everybody work with pleasure. I can conclude that my first experience in this company was good.
Attention au fautes de structuration, de grammaire et de choix de vocabulaires.Cordialement.




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