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Eddy Gossip / corrections (1)

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Eddy Gossip / corrections
Message de pop68 posté le 21-11-2008 à 14:32:27 (S | E | F)

Bonjour
Voilà j'ai une expression écrite à faire en anglais mais je crois qu'il y a de nombreuses faute :$

Je voulais savoir si vous pouviez m'aider à les corriger :$
Voilà mei beaucoup

Le texte ( assez long ) :

I corrected and valued the several newspapers which have been made by pupils. There are severeal interesting, well made and reflected things. But some aspects may have to be redone or are not relevant.

The first newspaper " Eddy Gossip" is lts of humor : the articles are funny and the effct of the main photo is good made. I'veneed time to see thaht it's not a real photo and that the girl close to the singer is one of my pupils. Unfortunately, the newspaper lacks article in front and photos. According to the title I find it's more a magazine than a newspaper and the articles deal with the story of Hollywood stars. I don't konw if everyone are interested in the sibject. But the rule was to make and write the first page of a newspaper for which the entreprise goes bankrupt ! I think the manager of their entreprise will recieve a golden handshake... This is somewhat risky to make a "newspaper" which deals with gossips.

Well, " No news, good news". There are beautiful and funny pictures, it's a good point. When I'm seeing it, I want to see more than the first page. On the other hand, I must be near to the newspaper to see something because these pictures are too small an I wouldn't be able to read the title if I were far from the page. In addition, the display is not correct : photoand the texte are get random way. ( façon aléatoire ). There are too many blanks too, what a pity !


Voilà je vais m'arreter là parce que sinon c'est beaucoup trop long et je ne veux pas trop m'imposer :$

Par avance, merci !

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 21-11-2008 17:48
titre


Réponse: Eddy Gossip / corrections de laure95, postée le 22-11-2008 à 11:59:45 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
I corrected and valued the several newspapers (mettre present perfect) which have been made by pupils. There are severeal (problème d'orthographe) interesting, well made and reflected things. But some aspects may have to be redone or are not relevant.

The first newspaper " Eddy Gossip" is lts of humor : the articles are funny and the effct of the main photo is good made. I'veneed (preterit) time to see thaht it's not a real photo and that the girl close to the singer is one of my pupils. Unfortunately, the newspaper lacks article in front and photos. According to the title I find it's more a magazine than a newspaper and the articles deal with the story of Hollywood stars. I don't konw if everyone are (singulier avec everyone) interested in the sibject (orthographe) . But the rule was to make and write the first page of a newspaper the entreprise goes (pas le bon temps) bankrupt ! I think the manager of their entreprise will recieve (orthographe!) a golden handshake... This is somewhat risky to make a "newspaper" which deals with gossips.

Well, " No news, good news". There are beautiful and funny pictures, it's a good point. When I'm seeing (change de verbe ou de temps) it, I want to see more than the first page. On the other hand, I must be near to the newspaper to see something because these pictures are too small an I wouldn't be able to read the title if I were far from the page. In addition, the display is not correct : photo (article devant) and the texte are get random way. ( façon aléatoire ). There are too many blanks too, what a pity !

Bon courage!





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