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A colorfull newspaper (correction)
Message de pop68 posté le 23-11-2008 à 18:39:27 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
Voici la suite de mon expression écrite, pouvez-vous m'aider à la corriger s'il vous plaît? :
" Weekly ", what a colorfull newspaper ! I like it, it's living ! ( vivant ) To my mind, it looks like a real newspaper, it brings to me pleasure. Furthermore this making is not expensive. If I were a consumer and I saw it, I would like buy it. the first thing that I've seen is the title which is not grammaticaly right. I've never seen a newspaper which called " Weekly or " Daily". it's not considerable. And why did they add the name London ?
As regards " Daily Duck", the first thing which has hurt me, it was the title. Firstly, because it's the first element that you see when the newspaper is "brung" to you and because you can not write it in english.I'm convinced the pupil wanted to writte something like " Le Canard Enchainé". But in french, it has an accurate meaning. The name is a reference to the french newspaper " L'homme libre" which has openly criticized the government. he " Canard" has to suffer censure and its name has been changed un " L'homme enchainé, then " Le Canard enchainé". on the whole, it's good but the sentences are outstanding and the colours are very light, not attractiv. A last thing about this newspaper , the weather forecast : they have made a mistake about the degres. The temperature in England is not in Celsius. But I must also take into account that the pupil was alone to do this homework.
Lastly, " The Informer". On the whole, this newspaper is the best concerning the display which is right. It's a good layout. Not to mention that it's complete : there are the weathr forecast, lots of photos : these one are deformed by the computer. Bit it's a detail beside this brilliant preparation. They have undertood exactly what I have wanted. It looks like a real newspaper, the articles are very interesting and sensational. When I see this first page, i'm looking forward to read the continuation of this newspaper. need I also point out that this newspaper will have a good mark ?
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Modifié par bridg le 23-11-2008 18:48
Message de pop68 posté le 23-11-2008 à 18:39:27 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
Voici la suite de mon expression écrite, pouvez-vous m'aider à la corriger s'il vous plaît? : " Weekly ", what a colorfull newspaper ! I like it, it's living ! ( vivant ) To my mind, it looks like a real newspaper, it brings to me pleasure. Furthermore this making is not expensive. If I were a consumer and I saw it, I would like buy it. the first thing that I've seen is the title which is not grammaticaly right. I've never seen a newspaper which called " Weekly or " Daily". it's not considerable. And why did they add the name London ?
As regards " Daily Duck", the first thing which has hurt me, it was the title. Firstly, because it's the first element that you see when the newspaper is "brung" to you and because you can not write it in english.I'm convinced the pupil wanted to writte something like " Le Canard Enchainé". But in french, it has an accurate meaning. The name is a reference to the french newspaper " L'homme libre" which has openly criticized the government. he " Canard" has to suffer censure and its name has been changed un " L'homme enchainé, then " Le Canard enchainé". on the whole, it's good but the sentences are outstanding and the colours are very light, not attractiv. A last thing about this newspaper , the weather forecast : they have made a mistake about the degres. The temperature in England is not in Celsius. But I must also take into account that the pupil was alone to do this homework.
Lastly, " The Informer". On the whole, this newspaper is the best concerning the display which is right. It's a good layout. Not to mention that it's complete : there are the weathr forecast, lots of photos : these one are deformed by the computer. Bit it's a detail beside this brilliant preparation. They have undertood exactly what I have wanted. It looks like a real newspaper, the articles are very interesting and sensational. When I see this first page, i'm looking forward to read the continuation of this newspaper. need I also point out that this newspaper will have a good mark ?
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Modifié par bridg le 23-11-2008 18:48
Réponse: A colorfull newspaper (correction) de laure95, postée le 25-11-2008 à 11:13:11 (S | E)
Bonjour Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
- colorfull: orthographe!
- it brings to me pleasure.
- I would like buy it: i would like to buy it.
- right: correct.
- which called: faire du passif.
- it's not considerable: ?
- it: was a déjà un sujet (which) was the title.
- english.
- to writte: orthographe!
- french.
- he " Canard": ?
- A last thing .
- Lastly, " The Informer": ce n'est pas une phrase!
- Not to mention that it's complete : même remarque.
- need I also point out: où est le sujet de "need"?
Bon courage!
