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sunny September /Correction (1)

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sunny September /Correction
Message de loupevivante posté le 30-11-2008 à 23:13:21 (S | E | F)

Please, could you correct my mistakes...

I will always remember that sunny September day during which I became a big girl…

Because I could not sleep any more because of that strong sensation of excitement, I felt in the region of my bottom, I woke up early that morning, long before my parents who didn’t seem very happy about that situation (although they understood my behaviour). I will always remember that I wore a beautiful blue dress recently bought for that special occasion. It was my first school day!

After the famous pictures session directed by my dear mother, I took the yellow bus for Elisabeth Turgeon, while I was looking by the window situated beside me the autumn marvellous landscape with its multicoloured leaves and its ochre fields. A double sensation lived in me at that moment: I felt excited, because I was about to discover a new world, but at the same time, I felt nervous. An insecurity feeling overcame me because I was about to plunge myself into unknown, and what is more frightening for a five year old girl that face up to a such situation alone!

However, I succeeded to overcome that obstacle and I began my social integration. I must admit that this stage was relatively easy for me, in other words, it was a breeze, a piece of cake! Yes, I didn’t know if it was because I looked like a magnet (in other words, if I gave off some magnetic attraction) or just because I smelled good, but everybody was attracted by me.

Through Grades, I always had competent teachers for who my well-being and my academic success represented some huge priorities. I suppose, for the time being, that it is why I appreciate so much school and that for me, learning constitutes the most beautiful and useful activity!

One thing that needs to be said is that my primary school development was divided between two different establishments because certain factors. I made my entrance in that new world in Elizabeth Turgeon School because it was my neighbourhood school. However, because I wished to become, one day, a famous tennis player, I decided to do the Sport-Étude program to concentrate myself on my athletic development. Therefore, I had to leave my initial school to Sainte-Agnèse, where I spent some unforgettable moments. Never I will regret that choice because it made me growing up on my psychological aspect.
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Modifié par bridg le 01-12-2008 06:47
titre distinctif


Réponse: sunny September /Correction de laure95, postée le 01-12-2008 à 12:09:27 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:

I will always remember that sunny September day during which (when) I became (present perfect) a big ? girl…

Because I could not sleep any more because of that strong sensation of excitement, I felt in the region of my bottom, I woke up early that morning, long before my parents who didn’t seem very happy about that situation (although they understood my behaviour). I will always remember that I wore (prétérit progressif) a beautiful blue dress recently bought for that special occasion. It was my first school day!

After the famous pictures session directed by my dear mother, I took the yellow bus for Elisabeth Turgeon, while I was looking by (through) the window situated beside me the autumn (à mettre après marvellous) marvellous landscape with its multicoloured leaves and its ochre fields. A double sensation lived in me (I was feeling a mixed sensation) at that moment: I felt prétérit progressif) excited, because I was about to discover a new world, but at the same time, I felt (même remarque) nervous. An insecurity feeling (a feeling of insecurity) overcame me because I was about to plunge myself into the unknown, and what (which) is more frightening for a five year old girl that had to face up to a such situation alone (changer de place)!

However, I succeeded to overcome that obstacle and I began my social integration. I must admit that this stage was relatively easy for me, in other words, it was a breeze, a piece of cake! Yes, I didn’t know if it was because I looked like a magnet (in other words, if I gave off some magnetic attraction) or just because I smelled good, but everybody was attracted by me.

Through Grades, I always had (présent perfect) competent teachers for who my well-being and my academic success represented some huge priorities. I suppose, for the time being, that it is why I appreciate (prétérit!) so much school ? and that for me, learning constitutes the most beautiful and useful activity!

One thing that needs to be said is that my primary school development was divided between two different establishments because of certain factors. I made my entrance in that new world in Elizabeth Turgeon School because it was my neighbourhood school. However, because I wished to become, one day, a famous tennis player, I decided to do the Sport-Étude program to concentrate myself on my athletic development. Therefore, I had to leave my initial school to Sainte-Agnèse, where I spent some unforgettable moments. Never I will regret that choice because it made (présent perfect) me growing up on my psychological aspect.
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Réponse: sunny September /Correction de loupevivante, postée le 04-12-2008 à 00:14:58 (S | E)
Merci




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