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Incroyable! (correction) (1)

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Incroyable! (correction)
Message de miku35 posté le 14-12-2008 à 12:10:09 (S | E | F)

Salut a tous, pourriez vous me corriger ce texte. Merci a tous.

Then, an incredible thing happened to me. After few years in Nebraska, where my firm was take place, I decided to come back to France. I couldn’t support any winter more, temperature goes down to -30°C in this season.
So I‘ve commanded a flying ticket in direction of Paris. I went to the airport, and then I don’t know what’s happened. Maybe someone had mugged myself or drugs me before I go up to the plane; I disembark in ice-pack, in the north of Groenland, according to Mr. Ne; in the middle of nowhere, where the hottest place was the igloo of Mr.Ne, -15°C on hottest days. But the worst isn’t become. M.Ne told me there were only two planes per year. I became in a raving mad. I was droomed to eat raw fish and bear for six months, with the hearty of Mr.Ne. You can’t imagine how I was when I saw the plane land on ice-pack six months later. I paid, with the little of money I got, a “business” place, which look likes more a baggage-hold place. This experience has deeply marked me, and after-effects I got allows me to go to a mental hospital. I’ve been confine for four years, which in I met many great people. Then, in 2028, I moved in a new center, in the west of France, in a city calls “Vern Sur Seiche”. Here I met my wife, with whom I tried to build “le chateau de Carcassonne” with matches. I told you times are hard; I lost my sausage controller job two months ago. I’m 89, and it’s very hard to ends correctly month. I have to work, like millions of senior if I want to survive. We live in a crazy society, where robots are more considerate than us, small human. In every corner of the world, there are conflicts. Most certainly, we are 19 billions, but it’s not a reason to kill.
------------------
Modifié par bridg le 14-12-2008 12:47
titre distinctif


Réponse: Incroyable! (correction) de laure95, postée le 14-12-2008 à 16:40:29 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois reprendre:
Then, an incredible thing happened to me. After few years in Nebraska, where my firm was take (temps?) place, I decided to come back to France. I couldn’t support any (devant more) winter more, temperature goes down to -30°C in this season.
So I‘ve commanded (ordered) a flying ticket in direction of to Paris. I went to the airport, and then I don’t know what’s happened. Maybe someone had mugged myself or drugs me before I go (prétérit) up into the plane; I disembark in ice-pack, in the north of Groenland, according to Mr. Ne; in the middle of nowhere, where the hottest place was the igloo of Mr.Ne, -15°C on hottest days. But the worst isn’t become. M.Ne told me there were only two planes per year. I became in a raving mad. I was droomed to eat raw fish and bear for six months, with the hearty of ? Mr.Ne. You can’t imagine how I was when I saw the plane land on ice-pack six months later. I paid, with the little of money I got, a “business” place, which look (prétérit) likes more a baggage-hold place. This experience has deeply marked me, and after-effects I got allows ? me to go to a mental hospital. I’ve been confined for four years, which in (where) I met many great people. Then, in 2028, I moved in a new center, in the west of France, in a city calls (called) “Vern Sur Seiche”. Here I met my wife, with whom I tried to build “le chateau de Carcassonne” with matches. I told you times are (prétérit) hard; I lost my sausage controller job two months ago. I’m 89, and it’s very hard to both ends meet correctly every month. I have to work, like millions of senior if I want to survive. We live in a crazy society, where robots are more considerate than us, small human. In every corner of the world, there are conflicts. Most certainly exactly, we are 19 billions, but it’s not a reason to kill.





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