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Help correction/Money (1)

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Help correction/Money
Message de pierrotdu62 posté le 18-12-2008 à 19:17:24 (S | E | F)

Hello I'm French and I must work for tomorrow
the first subject is :
imagine how chuckie became so rich:

The father’s Chuckie was very rich because it had won a lottery day. He played twice a week the lottery and was accustomed to losing, like everyone else. But one day when he watched the draw results, without too believe, he saw that he had miraculously won! He went immediately withdraw his ticket when he won . He won 5 million. But his son, Chuckie, was very jealous and envious of everyone. As his father had won a lot of money, he wanted absolutely that money. So he decided to kill his father and get the crime in an accident. The police could not detect crime and the father of Chuckie was declared dead accidentally. Chuckie, who was the sole heir of his father, thus inherited 5 million. So ,He won this money very dishonest. Therefore chuckie which is a very rich man

the second subject is :Money can't buy happiness.Discuss

We need money to live. It is essential to survive in our world. But money is it really happiness? in a first part we see it in part but happiness in a second, not.
First ,everyone has always dream to buy what he wants. This proves that money contributes to happiness. Everyone has different passions that allow him to be happy. But these passions have a price and to practice it takes money (sports, videogames ...).So, someone who has no money living in the street and he have cold and hungry. He can not be happy.
In contrast, people with a lot of money sometimes become pretentious. In addition, we buy more and more you want to buy, what drives us has always spend and do not have money. Money makes jealous people around you and because of that, sometimes you lose friends.
We deduce that money is essential to survive in our world (housing, food ...) but we must not abuse it because it can be a source of problems and it does not necessarily happiness.

I do what I could
thank you for your help

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-12-2008 21:45
titre+forum


Réponse: Help correction/Money de azer3, postée le 19-12-2008 à 14:10:57 (S | E)
Bonjour voici mon approche merci de vérifier.
Imagine how chuckie has became so rich.
Chuckie's father was very rich because he had won in a lottery day. like everyone else, he played twice a week the lottery and he always lose. But one day, when he was watching the draw results, he saw that he had won!He didn't believe that, it was like a miracle for him. He went immediately to draw?? his ticket when he had won . He have won 5 million. But his son, Chuckie, was very jealous and envious from everyone. As his father had won a lot of money, he wanted absolutely to get that money. So he decided to kill his father and to say that it was just an accident. The police could not detect the crime and Chuckie's father was declared dead accidentally/bravo/.So Chuckie, who was the sole heir of his father, has inherited 5 million very dishonestly. Therefore??? chuckie which is a very rich man/j'ai pas compris réviser cette phrase

Money can't buy/get happiness.

Every on undestand that money is a vital need. It is essential to survive in our world. But can we really say that money is the equivalence of happiness? in a first part we see it in part but happiness in a second/la j'ai pas bien compris/ je propose "In the first part, we can admit that, but in a second part we can't totally accept this point of view.
First ,everyone has always dreamt /or dreamed/ to buy what he wants. This proves that money contributes to happiness. Everyone has different passions that allow him to be happy. But these passions have a price and to practice-it we need money (sports, videogames ...).So, without money we can't have house, we live in the street cold and hungry/c'est tres drole ca mais bravo/. It is why we admit that without money we can not be happy.
In contrast, some people insted of their lot money become sometimes pretentious. In addition, the more we buy the more we want to buy, witch drives us to always spend and so we have no money. Money makes people jealous from you and sometimes you can lose your friends for that.
So We believe that money is essential to survive in our world (housing, food ...) but we must not abuse it because it can be a source of problems and it become like a curse for us .
Bon voilà.
Attention au fautes de conjugaison, de grammaire et de structuration.
Bon chance frére dans tes études.





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