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Correction /moved to Sydney
Message de chato posté le 17-02-2009 à 18:53:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pouvez vous me corriger ma rédaction pour que je comprenne mes erreur s'il vous plait :
merci d'avance
Sujet de ma rédaction :
A young student who used to live in the Outback has just moved to Sydney. S/he writes to friends to tell them how different life is in the city.
ma rédaction :
I am talking about my life in Outback where I spent my childhood. Since my arrival, I am very busy by my arrival in my new flat and my new school because I bought books, a uniform,... I would rather the school at Sydney because I meet all the morning my schoolmates, I am not alone. it's help, each over, I can ask for help, talk to teacher and ask questions but I am disappointed because the classes are noisy, I have difficult to concentrate, there is only one teacher for the whole class and teaching is less individual.
In my Outback, I liked working at home alone is that yon can do your homework at your own pace learning more quickly. In the house at Sydney, I am lots of things to do how por example of shopping, the fashion, buy to clothes, go to the cinema, discos, visit friends, the parties,...
In Sydney, I have everythings close at hand, it's the easy life ! But I have difficult to adapt to noise, traffic, pollution and there are crowded places. i am able to distinguish between dangerous and safe animals and between poisonnous and safe plants.n I thrilled because the beach and the sea are not far and I see of new aspects of nature how the coral ree, dolphins, the fishs, the sharks and of new activities how the surfing and diving.
I am happier of this flat of this flat at Sydney because the life is more and more easy.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-02-2009 19:07
titre
Message de chato posté le 17-02-2009 à 18:53:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pouvez vous me corriger ma rédaction pour que je comprenne mes erreur s'il vous plait :
merci d'avance
Sujet de ma rédaction :
A young student who used to live in the Outback has just moved to Sydney. S/he writes to friends to tell them how different life is in the city.
ma rédaction :
I am talking about my life in Outback where I spent my childhood. Since my arrival, I am very busy by my arrival in my new flat and my new school because I bought books, a uniform,... I would rather the school at Sydney because I meet all the morning my schoolmates, I am not alone. it's help, each over, I can ask for help, talk to teacher and ask questions but I am disappointed because the classes are noisy, I have difficult to concentrate, there is only one teacher for the whole class and teaching is less individual.
In my Outback, I liked working at home alone is that yon can do your homework at your own pace learning more quickly. In the house at Sydney, I am lots of things to do how por example of shopping, the fashion, buy to clothes, go to the cinema, discos, visit friends, the parties,...
In Sydney, I have everythings close at hand, it's the easy life ! But I have difficult to adapt to noise, traffic, pollution and there are crowded places. i am able to distinguish between dangerous and safe animals and between poisonnous and safe plants.n I thrilled because the beach and the sea are not far and I see of new aspects of nature how the coral ree, dolphins, the fishs, the sharks and of new activities how the surfing and diving.
I am happier of this flat of this flat at Sydney because the life is more and more easy.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-02-2009 19:07
titre
Réponse: Correction /moved to Sydney de azer3, postée le 17-02-2009 à 22:42:32 (S | E)
Bonjour,
I am talking about my life in Outback where I spent my childhood. Since my arrival, I am /nom ce n'est pas le présent/ very busy by my arrival in my new flat and my new school because I/ je pense que tu veux dire "parce que je dois acheter les livres et un uniforme" si oui tu dois ajouter le verbe to have conjugué avant bought.../ bought books, a uniform,... I would rather the/a/ school at Sydney because I/ ici je vois que tu utilises le "modal can" mais attention au temps/ meet all the morning my schoolmates/ça se place avant/, I am not alone. it's/ou est le majuscule?/ help, each over, I can ask for help, talk to teacher and ask questions/là tu mets un point et tu vérifie cette dernière phrase/ but I am/tu es entrain de raconter des événements au passé!/ disappointed because the classes are noisy, I have difficult to concentrate, there is only one teacher for the whole class and teaching is less individual.
In my Outback, I liked working at home alone is that/because/ yon/orthographe/ can do your homework at your own pace/ça manque quelque chose ici/ learning more quickly. In the house at Sydney, I am/to have/ lots of things to do how/enlève ça/ por/orthographe/ example of/ je te proposes "like" a la place de for example/ shopping, the fashion, buy to clothes, go to the cinema, discos, visit friends, the parties,...
In Sydney, I have everythings close at hand, it's the easy/superlatif/ life ! But I have difficult to adapt /myself/ to noise, s, pollution and there are crowded places. i/I/ am able to distinguish between dangerous and safe animals and between poisonnous/orthographe/and safe plants.n I thrilled because the beach and the sea are not far and I see of/enlève ça/ new aspects of nature how/like/ the coral ree, dolphins, the fishs/orthographe/, the sharks and of new activities how the surfing and diving.
I am happier/c'est faux/ of/by/ this flat of this flat at Sydney because the life is more and more easy.
Voilà tu as mal traiter ton sujet, trop de fautes...
Corriges toi.
Amicalement.
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Modifié par azer3 le 17-02-2009 22:43
Bonne nuit
