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Last August /Correction (1)

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Last August /Correction
Message de swanko posté le 01-04-2009 à 18:15:35 (S | E | F)

Last August,During the Summer Holidays we decided me and my family to go to in the South of France for some days and have a good time.
It was the night when we arrived at destination,
we were tired then we went to sleep in our tents. Next day, it was a sunny day for go to sea on the beach, there when
I was swimming,when suddenly I felt something in water i was afraid but it was only one fish, after that I decided to
come back at the campsite, and the night fallen and then we prepared a campfire with music for a wonderful night.
Second day, after the beach, we went to walk on a mountain , On the way I was taking animals en pictures when suddenly a plane arrived by behind, I was surprised but it was nothing.
The night arrived and we were to return has the house.I was happy because this travel was incredible and beautiful.

Si vous pouviez m'aider a corriger cette rédaction, au(x) niveau(x) de la grammaire, des accords, du vocabulaire, merci.

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 01-04-2009 18:38


Réponse: Last August /Correction de laure95, postée le 02-04-2009 à 10:31:07 (S | E)
Bonjur, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
Last August,During the Summer Holidays we decided me and my family (mettre my family and I en sujet)to go to in the South of France for some days and have a good time.
It was the night when we arrived at our destination,
we were tired then we went to sleep in our tents. the Next day, it was a sunny day for go to the sea, on the beach,(mettre 1 point) there when I was swimming,when suddenly I felt something in water i was afraid but it was only one fish, (point)after that I decided to
come back at the campsite, and the night fallen (temps?) and then we prepared a campfire with music for a wonderful night.
On the Second day, after the beach, we went for a walk on a mountain , On the way I was taking animals en pictures when suddenly a plane arrived by behind, I was surprised but it was nothing.
The night arrived and we were to return has the house.I was happy because this travel was incredible and beautiful.




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