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Est-ce bien ? (1)

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Est-ce bien ?
Message de kool posté le 12-05-2009 à 00:22:51 (S | E | F)

salut. notre maitresse d'anglais nous a dmandé d'ecrire un petit paragraphe sur notre ville et j'ai écrit le texte ci dessous, veuillez lz lire SVP et me signaler s'il y a des erreurs a rectifier ou des expressions a changer et merci.

My city is called Casablanca. It is most big city of Morocco, and it's the economic capital. it does not contain a lot of historic monuments , contrary of the other cities in morocco and it has no long and rich story. the most interesting place in morrocco is the mosque Hassan II: the highest religious building of the world and also the most modern. It is indispensable to go there to admire the impressive outside facade. crossroads between earth and sea, the mosque is situated on an exceptional site. The lovers of art will appreciate to visit the inside of the monument, magnificent, immense but a little bit empty.
there is also a lot of cinemas(ritz, dawliz...) but the best one's MEGARAMA. It is a big cinema where I like to spend Saturday afternoon with my friends.Near this cinema, there are restaurants clean and well maintained like: Mc donalds, pizza hut but I think that pizza hut is better that Mc donalds. I also like Luigi, it is an Italian restaurant and the best one of the city. of course, Casablanca has not only these some places. There is so many store of shopping, but the most famous are combined in a big boulevard: maârif. Shopping mall of brilliant and luxurious modernity, where restaurants and shops are combined to offer surprising services … Symbol of the will of the city an image determinedly shot to the economic business of the country.


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 12-05-2009 08:48
voir le texte en-dessous



Réponse: Est-ce bien ? de kool, postée le 12-05-2009 à 00:34:31 (S | E)
désolé mais je me suis trompé de texet voilà le correct:

My city is called Casablanca. It is most big city of Morocco, and it's the economic capital. it does not contain a lot of historic monuments , contrary of the other cities in morocco and it has no long and rich story. the most interesting place in morrocco is the mosque Hassan II: the highest religious building of the world and also the most modern. It is indispensable to go there to admire the impressive outside facade. crossroads between earth and sea, the mosque is situated on an exceptional site. The lovers of art will appreciate to visit the inside of the monument, magnificent, immense but a little bit empty.
there is also a lot of cinemas(ritz, dawliz...) but the best one's MEGARAMA. It is a big cinema where I like to spend Saturday afternoon with my friends.Near this cinema, there are restaurants clean and well maintained like: Mc donalds, pizza hut but I think that pizza hut is better that Mc donalds. I also like Luigi, it is an Italian restaurant and the best one of the city. of course, Casablanca has not only these some places. There is so many store of shopping, but the most famous are combined in a big boulevard: maârif. and it's there where is TWIN CENTER:Shopping mall of brilliant and luxurious modernity, where restaurants and shops are combined to offer surprising services … Symbol of the will of the city an image determinedly shot to the economic business of the country.



Réponse: Est-ce bien ? de brettdallen, postée le 12-05-2009 à 01:04:15 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Je trouve cela tellement mignon de dire "maitresse"... je signale quelques erreurs.


My city is called Casablanca. It is most big(revoyez le superlatif) city of Morocco, and it's the economic capital. it does not contain(ce n'est pas le verbe que j'aurais utilisé. Reconstruisez le tout) a lot of historic monuments , contrary of (mauvaise préposition)the other cities in morocco and it has no(à revoir) long and rich story(concerne l'histoire d'un individu, d'un personnage). the most interesting place in morrocco is the mosque Hassan II: the highest(est-ce le bon adjectif?) religious building of(autre préposition) the world and also the most modern. It is indispensable(à revoir) to go there to admire the impressive outside facade. crossroads between earth and sea, the mosque is situated on an exceptional site. The lovers of art will appreciate to visit the inside of the monument, magnificent, immense(syntaxe) but a little bit empty.
there is(pluriel) also a lot of cinemas(ritz, dawliz...) but the best one's MEGARAMA. It is a big cinema where I like to spend Saturday afternoon(s) with my friends.Near this cinema, there are restaurants(après les adjectifs) clean and well maintained(doute sur le choix du terme..."well-kept"?) like: Mc donalds, pizza hut but I think that pizza hut is better that Mc donalds. I also like Luigi, it is an Italian restaurant and(curieuse connection) the best one of the city. of course, Casablanca has not only these some? places. There is(pluriel) so many store(s) of shopping,(utile?) but the most famous are combined in a big boulevard: maârif. and it's there where is TWIN CENTER:Shopping mall(s) of brilliant and luxurious modernity, where restaurants and shops are combined(doute sur le choix du terme) to offer surprising services … Symbol of the will of the city an image determinedly shot to the economic business of the country.
(dernière phrase à revoir, la syntaxe est décousue).

L'ensemble est néanmoins de très bonne qualité, compte tenu de votre âge.
Faite ces petites corrections et cela sera encore mieux réussi. Je n'ai pas tout corrigé, attendez-vous à d'autres commentaires.
Cordialement.



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