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Correction /During the last holidays
Message de francoisc posté le 13-04-2010 à 12:02:36 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous:
Notre professeur d'anglais nous a demandé une rédaction où l'on devait utiliser le present perfect , le présent simple , le présent be+-ing et le prétérit :
je voudrais s'il vous plait que vous m'aidiez à corriger les fautes et savoir aussi si les temps sont bien utilisés.
voici mon texte:
During the last holidays I went to Brittany and I saw a prehistoric village .
I ate in restaurant , in any case it was a beautiful restaurant and this food was delicious . Moreover my best memory is when I have gone to see the sea and restaurant . My week-ends are often a good weekends . In fact every of my week-ends are special because I always do original something , for example this week-ends I am going to a concert and I am going to a party with my friends , consequently it is a good week-ends . In conclusion I often do original something . During the next holidays , I am going to visit Holland , Belgium and Strasbourg.
Message de francoisc posté le 13-04-2010 à 12:02:36 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous:
Notre professeur d'anglais nous a demandé une rédaction où l'on devait utiliser le present perfect , le présent simple , le présent be+-ing et le prétérit :
je voudrais s'il vous plait que vous m'aidiez à corriger les fautes et savoir aussi si les temps sont bien utilisés.
voici mon texte:
During the last holidays I went to Brittany and I saw a prehistoric village .
I ate in restaurant , in any case it was a beautiful restaurant and this food was delicious . Moreover my best memory is when I have gone to see the sea and restaurant . My week-ends are often a good weekends . In fact every of my week-ends are special because I always do original something , for example this week-ends I am going to a concert and I am going to a party with my friends , consequently it is a good week-ends . In conclusion I often do original something . During the next holidays , I am going to visit Holland , Belgium and Strasbourg.
Réponse: Correction /During the last holidays de prescott, postée le 13-04-2010 à 15:48:54 (S | E)
Hello Francoisc!
Voici les problèmes à régler en priorité.
En rouge les fautes d'accord ou de conjugaison.
en rose les "mal dits" ou mauvaises positions.
[ ] = omission
<=> = ordre inversé
During the last holidays I went to Brittany and I saw a prehistoric village.
I ate in [ ] restaurant, in any case it was a beautiful restaurant and this food was delicious. Moreover[,] my best memory is when I have gone to see the sea and [ ] restaurant. My week-ends are often a good week-ends[Lourd: répétition inutile]. In fact [,] every of my week-ends are special because I always do original <=> something, for example this week-ends I am going to a concert and I am going to a party with my friends, consequently it is a good week-ends . In conclusion[,] I often do original <=> something. During the next holidays, I am going to visit Holland, Belgium and Strasbourg.
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mal dit:
- J'ai aperçu (de loin ou sans visiter) un village?
- in any case = En tout cas. Comme en français, doit être placé après une phrase de narration plus détaillée, pas d'emblée ni entre virgules.
- cette nourriture (laquelle?) => la nourriture
- my best memory is when I have gone to see the sea and [mal dit! Par exemple: Mon meilleur souvenir est la "beauté de la mer" ou "de la côte" et le restaurant. Ca fait donc deux souvenirs...
- every => singulier
- d'original <=> quelque chose, même ordre qu'en français
- par conséquent: langage un peu trop soutenu. => donc...
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Modifié par prescott le 13-04-2010 16:05
Réponse: Correction /During the last holidays de francoisc, postée le 13-04-2010 à 19:15:17 (S | E)
Désolé de n'avoir répondu plus top mais j'étais absent
, mais 
de m'avoir donné des conseils pour ma correctionvoici ma nouvelle proposition :
During the last holidays , I went to Brittany and I perceived a prehistoric village .I ate in a old restaurant , in any case it was a beautiful restaurant and the food was delicious . Moreover my best memory is when I have seen the beaury of sea and this magnificient restaurant . In fact , every of my week-ends are special because I always do something original , for example this week-ends I am going to a concert and a party with my friends , consequently it is a good week-ends . In conclusion , I often do something original . During the next holidays , I am going to visit Holland , Belgium and Strasbourg.
François
Réponse: Correction /During the last holidays de notrepere, postée le 13-04-2010 à 20:24:01 (S | E)
Hello:During the last holidays, I went to Brittany and I perceived a prehistoric village. I ate in a old restaurant, in any case it was a beautiful restaurant and the food was delicious. Moreover my best memory is when I have seen the beaury of sea and this magnificient restaurant. In fact, every of my week-ends are special because I always do something original , for example this week-ends I am going to a concert and a party with my friends, consequently it is a good week-ends. In conclusion, I often do something original. During the next holidays, I am going to visit Holland, Belgium and Strasbourg.
perceived = Non, pourquoi pas 'visiter'?
a, an = An indefinite article before a vowel should be?
, in any case = Not necessary. How about a period (point)?
Moreover = Not necessary.
have seen = Use the simple past instead
beaury = spelling error
every = use 'every one' or 'all'
...do something original. (point)
Réponse: Correction /During the last holidays de francoisc, postée le 14-04-2010 à 10:38:30 (S | E)
, notrepere de votre aide . Pour le choix des expressions(consequently , in any case , moreover , in fact , in conclusion ...) la professeur nous demande aussi de choisir 5 expressions utiles parmi la vingtaine qu'elle nous a donné et qui s'inserrent logiquement dans le texte et nous avait donné celles-ci . voici ma nouvelle proposition:During the last holidays , I went to Brittany and I visited a prehistoric village . I ate in an old restaurant , in any case it was a beautiful restaurant and the food was delicious . Moreover my best memory is when I see the beauty of sea and this magnificient restaurant . In fact , every one of my week-ends are special because I always do something original . For example this week-ends I am going to a concert and a party with my friends , consequently is a good week-ends . In conclusion , I often do something original . During the next holidays , I am going to visit Holland , Belgium and Strasbourg.
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Modifié par francoisc le 14-04-2010 10:43
Réponse: Correction /During the last holidays de lamy, postée le 14-04-2010 à 11:41:12 (S | E)
bonjour
Vous n'avez pas bien lu les recommandations de notrepere dans son post précédent (mind the colours !)...
Modestement
Réponse: Correction /During the last holidays de francoisc, postée le 14-04-2010 à 15:02:34 (S | E)
D'accord voici une nouvelle proposition avec quelques modifications :
During the last holidays , I went to Brittany and I visited a prehistoric village . I ate in an old restaurant , it was a beautiful restaurant and the food was delicious . My best memory is when I saw the beauty of the sea and the sundown . In fact every one of my week-ends are special because I always do something original for example this week-ends I am going to a concert and a party with my friends , therefore it is a happy days. During the next holidays , I am going to Holland , Belgium and Strasbourg.
Réponse: Correction /During the last holidays de lamy, postée le 14-04-2010 à 18:28:23 (S | E)
bonjour
C'est presque bon !
During the last holidays , I went to Brittany and I visited a prehistoric village . I ate in an old restaurant , it was a beautiful restaurant and the food was delicious . My best memory is when I saw the beauty of the sea and the sundown (ou sunset). In fact every one + sg of my week-ends are special because I always do something original. For example this week-ends I am going to a concert and a party with my friends , therefore it (BE au futur)is a happy days. During the next holidays , I am going to Holland , Belgium and Strasbourg.
Modestement
Réponse: Correction /During the last holidays de francoisc, postée le 14-04-2010 à 19:02:51 (S | E)
lamy pour votre aide!During the last holidays , I went to Brittany and I visited a prehistoric village . I ate in an old restaurant , it was a beautiful restaurant and the food was delicious . My best memory is when I saw the beauty of the sea and the sundown (ou sunset). In fact every all of my week-ends are special because I always do something original. For example this week-ends I am going to a concert and a party with my friends , therefore it will be a happy days. During the next holidays , I am going to Holland , Belgium and Strasbourg.
Et merci encore à vous trois!
Réponse: Correction /During the last holidays de lamy, postée le 14-04-2010 à 21:28:46 (S | E)
bonsoir
Vous n'avez pas fait les modifications mises en rouge !!! Elles indiquent une faute, donc enlevez le S si c'est un singulier (c.à.d. après A et THIS)
Par ailleurs notrepere vous a signalé qu'il fallait dire "every one of my weekends IS" ou "all my weekends ARE", mais ne faites pas un mélange des deux!
Cette fois-ci doit être parfaite!
Modestement
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