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Correction d'un texte

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction d'un texte
Message de patriciia posté le 12-10-2010 à 20:55:05 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!
J'ai écrit ce texte sur mes meilleures amies, pour mon cours d'anglais. Je crois bien qu'il y a des fautes. Pouvez-vous m'indiquez où? J'essaierai de les corriger moi-même avant de poster le texte corrigé.
Merci de votre aide !
Patricia



My best friends

I have two best friends, they called Ana Rita and Eva.

Eva is quiet, she doesn't laugh easily. But she gives me good advices. She has long black hair and brown eyes. She's form Viêt-Nam, from the capital: Hanoï. She's small and slime. She loves sweets.

Ana Rita is more funny. She has short light brown hair and brown eyes. She's not very tall and she's not very slim too. She is from Portugal, like me! But we don't know us there. (there pour au Portugal) We met us in the primary school of Portuguese. Because our parents wanted us to be able to speak Portuguese. We soon become friends.

With Eva, is since the kindergarten that I know her. And we never separated. With them, I have no secrets. They know everything about me.
We do many things together, we go to the cinema, we go shopping, we go party or we still talking on the phone for a long time. We can stay at the phone all the day!

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 12-10-2010 20:56
couleur



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de gerondif, postée le 12-10-2010 à 23:45:47 (S | E)
Hello,

My best friends

I have two best friends, they (manque le verbe être de la voix passive) called Ana Rita and Eva.

Eva is quiet, she doesn't laugh easily. But she gives me good advices(pas de pluriel). She has long black hair and brown eyes. She's form Viêt-Nam, from the capital: Hanoï. She's small and slime. She loves sweets.

Ana Rita is more funny(comparatifs en y: happy = happier). She has short light brown hair and brown eyes. She's not very tall and she's not very slim too(plutôt non plus). She is from Portugal, like me! But we don't know us there(mettez au prétérit avec to meet). (there pour au Portugal) We met us(inutile) in the primary school of Portuguese. Because our parents wanted us to be able to speak Portuguese. We soon become friends.(prétérit)

With Eva, is since the kindergarten that I know her.(construction incorrecte: commencez par to know puis since, du coup, quel temps faudra-t-il mettre?) And we never separated. With them, I have no secrets. They know everything about me.
We do many things together, we go to the cinema, we go shopping, we go party(à mettre au gérondif) or we still talking(erreur de temps) on the phone for a long time. We can stay at the phone all the day!(all day long)

A vous d'améliorer !




Réponse: Correction d'un texte de may, postée le 13-10-2010 à 01:11:14 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Je voudrais ajouter quelque points:
She's form Viêt-Nam
We met us(inutile) in the primary school of Portuguese.un virgule au lieu d'un point Because our parents wanted us to be able to speak Portuguese.
Bonne nuit



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de notrepere, postée le 13-10-2010 à 06:17:57 (S | E)
Hello! Just one improvement to offer...

the [article indéfini] primary school of Portuguese [ordre des mots: Portuguese primary school]

Cordialement



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de patriciia, postée le 13-10-2010 à 19:39:32 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Merci pour votre aide et vos corrections. Maintenant, voici une première version de mon texte corrigé. Il y a-t-il encore des fautes?

My best friends

I have two best friends, they are called Ana Rita and Eva.

Eva is quiet, she doesn't laugh easily. But she gives me good advice. She has long black hair and brown eyes. She's form Vietnam, from the capital: Hanoï. She's small and slim. She loves sweets.

Ana Rita is more funnier(dois-je quand même mettre le more?). She has short light brown hair and brown eyes. She's not very tall and she's not very slim neither(non plus se dit bien neither?). She is from Portugal, like me! But we don't met us there. We met us inutile in the Portuguese primary school. Because our parents wanted us to be able to speak Portuguese. We soon became friends.

I know Eva since the kindergarten.(Est-ce que la construction est tout de même correcte maintenant?) And we never separated. With them, I have no secrets. They know everything about me.
We do many things together, we go to the cinema, we go shopping, we go party(je ne comprends pas comment se conjugue le gérondif?) or we stay talking (si je mets ce verbe, est-ce juste?) on the phone for a long time. We can stay at the phone all day long!



-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-10-2010 08:11



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de gerondif, postée le 13-10-2010 à 19:57:59 (S | E)
Bonsoir
My best friends

I have two best friends, they are called Ana Rita and Eva.

Eva is quiet, she doesn't laugh easily. But she gives me good advice. She has long black hair and brown eyes. She's form Vietnam, from the capital: Hanoï. She's small and slim. She loves sweets.

Ana Rita is more funnier(dois-je quand même mettre le more? non). She has short light brown hair and brown eyes. She's not very tall and she's not very slim either neither(non plus se dit bien neither? oui, mais vous avez déjà "not"). She is from Portugal, like me! But we don't met (auxiliaire did) us there. We met us in the Portuguese primary school. Because our parents wanted us to be able to speak Portuguese. We soon became friends.

I know(à mettre au present perfect, auxiliaire have + participe passé) Eva since the kindergarten. And we never separated. With them, I have no secrets. They know everything about me.
We do many things together, we go to the cinema, we go shopping, we go partying or we stay(plutôt keep) talking on the phone for a long time(plutôt for hours). We can stay at the phone all day long!

Bonne correction, continuez !



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de may, postée le 14-10-2010 à 01:14:58 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
We met us in the Portuguese primary school. Because our parents wanted us to be able to speak Portuguese. We soon became friends.
According to me, the sentence in blue doesn't make sense by itself! It should be linked with either the first or the second one by the conjunction because (as a consequence)
For example:
I cannot go to work today because I am a little bit ill (or lazy)!
Because of the heavy snow, I couldn't come to see you yesterday as I had promised!
Otherwise, just omit the conjunction because in the sentence.
How does that sound?



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de notrepere, postée le 14-10-2010 à 01:20:57 (S | E)
Hello!

You are correct may. It would also be better to say "a Portuguese primary school". "the" makes it sound like there is only one in existence. However, the sentence itself doesn't make much sense. You didn't meet because your parents wanted you to speak Portuguese. You met because you all attended the same Portuguese primary school. And you attended Portuguese primary school because your parents wanted you to learn Portuguese.

Cordialement



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de may, postée le 14-10-2010 à 02:12:11 (S | E)
Hello,
Thank you notrepere. That's why I am
Bye for now,




Réponse: Correction d'un texte de patriciia, postée le 17-10-2010 à 21:44:05 (S | E)
Bonjour!

J'ai relu vos corrections et retravaillé mon texte. Qu'est-ce que ça donne?


My best friends

I have two best friends, they are called Ana Rita and Eva.

Eva is quiet, she doesn't laugh easily. But she gives me good advice. She has long black hair and brown eyes. She's from Vietnam, from the capital: Hanoï. She's small and slim. She loves sweets. Ana Rita is funnier. She has short light brown hair and brown eyes. She's not very tall and she's not very slim either.

She is from Portugal, like me! But we didn’t met there. We met in a Portuguese primary school . When we are 10 years old we attended Portuguese primary school because our parents wanted we to learn Portuguese. And we soon became friends!

I have known Eva since the kindergarten. And we never separated. With them, I have no secrets. They know everything about me.
We do many things together, we go to the cinema, we go shopping, we go partying or we keep talking on the phone for hours. We can stay on the phone all day long!




Pour gerondif:
keep veut bien dire garder? Donc si je veux parler de rester au téléphone, dois-je toujours utiliser keep et non stay ?

Pour May : j'ai rajouté les mots en bleu, la phrase a-t-elle plus de sens maintenant?


Merci pour votre aide!



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 21:49:34 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
My best friends
I have two best friends, they are called Ana Rita and Eva.
Eva is quiet, she doesn't laugh easily. But she gives me good advice. She has long black hair and brown eyes. She's from Vietnam, from the capital: Hanoï. She's small and slim. She loves sweets. Ana Rita is funnier. She has short light brown hair and brown eyes. She's not very tall and she's not very slim either.

She is from Portugal, like me! But we didn’t met(infinitif sans to, base verbale après didn't) there. We met in a Portuguese primary school . When we are(prétérit) 10 years old we attended Portuguese primary school because our parents wanted we(cod: us) to learn Portuguese. And we soon became friends!

I have known Eva since the kindergarten. And we never separated. With them, I have no secrets. They know everything about me.
We do many things together, we go to the cinema, we go shopping, we go partying or we keep talking on the phone for hours. We can stay on the phone all day long!



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de patriciia, postée le 18-10-2010 à 15:51:34 (S | E)
Bonjour,

My best friends

I have two best friends, they are called Ana Rita and Eva.
Eva is quiet, she doesn't laugh easily. But she gives me good advice. She has long black hair and brown eyes. She's from Vietnam, from the capital: Hanoï. She's small and slim. She loves sweets. Ana Rita is funnier. She has short light brown hair and brown eyes. She's not very tall and she's not very slim either.

She is from Portugal, like me! But we didn’t met(infinitif sans to, base verbale après didn't) there. We met in a Portuguese primary school . When we were 10 years old we attended Portuguese primary school because our parents wanted us to learn Portuguese. And we soon became friends!

I have known Eva since the kindergarten. And we never separated. With them, I have no secrets. They know everything about me.
We do many things together, we go to the cinema, we go shopping, we go partying or we keep talking on the phone for hours. We can stay on the phone all day long!




Je ne comprend pas votre remarque en bleu, je n'ai pas de ''to'' mais ma phrase n'est pas juste ou est-ce juste une remarque?

J'avais encore une question avec la phrase: we keep talking on the phone for hours le verbe keep veut dire garder, mais pourquoi le verbe stay n'est pas conseillé ici? (D'après votre correction du 13-10-2010 )



Réponse: Correction d'un texte de anne40, postée le 18-10-2010 à 23:11:23 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Que les anglophones me disent si je me trompe, mais je me rappelle avoir appris:

To keep + gérondif (verbe en -ing) = continuer l'action du verbe
donc p.ex. to keep talking on the phone for hours: parler des heures durant au téléphone, rester (à parler) au téléphone pendant des heures

Bonnes études !




Réponse: Correction d'un texte de gerondif, postée le 18-10-2010 à 23:51:34 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

je voulais simplement dire qu'un prétérit simple négatif se construit avec l'auxiliaire didn't suivi de la base verbale du verbe, appelée autrefois infinitif sans to:
we didn't meet there.

to keep+ ing:continuer de faire quelque chose, ne pas cesser de le faire.
We keep talking on the phone for hours est donc correct.

to stay, rester là, rester planté là, demeurer quelque part, n'a pas ce sens de continuer de faire quelque chose.
Stay where you are ! I'll be back !
La citation du jour:
"My My ! Hey Hey! Rock and Roll is here to stay !
Hey! Hey! My! My! Rock and Roll will never die!"(Neil Young)




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