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Correction synthèse

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction synthèse
Message de esmeraldaannaf posté le 11-04-2011 à 17:37:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde.
J'ai fait une petite synthèse d'un sujet qu'on avait vu en classe et j'aimerais si possible me faire corriger ... C'est sur l'esclavage, la ségrégation aux Etats-Unis ... J'espère qu'il n'y a quand même pas trop de fautes !
Merci d'avance

In 1619, the triangular trade gives rise to slavery, when 20 blacks were landed in Virginia and employed in the plantations. For more than two centuries, blacks have no rights, no freedom. At the international slave is officially banned in 1807 but in the United States, this situation will last until 1865, when slavery will be abolished with the adoption of the 13th Amendment of the American Constitution. While blacks have the citizenship and the right to vote and equality with whites.

In 1892, following the arrest of a black man who refused to leave the place wich he occupied in a compartment reserved for whites on a train, a trial takes place and the Supreme Court of the United States adopts the doctrine "separate but equal" which legalizes
and imposes racial segregation. Blacks are separated from whites in all areas of daily life.

After many struggles, many events (like those of Martin Luther King), Lyndon Baines Johnson signs July 2, 1964 the Civil Rights Act, which marks the end of segregation declaring discrimination basing on race, color, religion, sex or national origin illegal on all the
American territory.

Today, Afro-Americans live freely and have the same rights as whites. They are real American citizens, but there are still a lot of racism and many blacks are the scapegoat or the excuses for some people. Those who commit offences for example, and who accuse blacks on their place,
and who everyone believes ...

But the election of Barak Obama to the presidency of the country shows that attitudes have changed.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-04-2011 21:34



Réponse: Correction synthèse de esmeraldaannaf, postée le 11-04-2011 à 18:50:22 (S | E)
Hello ??? Svp s'il vous plaît ...

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 12-04-2011 07:01



Réponse: Correction synthèse de gerondif, postée le 11-04-2011 à 19:26:10 (S | E)
Bonjour,

J'espère qu'il n'y a quand même pas trop de fautes ! Si ! En particulier les temps, on passe du passé au présent au futur; et les phrases non terminées...

In 1619, the triangular trade gives rise(birth?) to slavery, when 20 blacks were landed in Virginia and (were)employed in the plantations. For more than two centuries, blacks have(ce présent me surprend) no rights, no freedom. At the international slave is officially banned in 1807 but in the United States, this situation will last until 1865, when slavery will be abolished (pas de futur derrière when introduisant une complétive de temps)with the adoption of the 13th Amendment of the American Constitution. While(ok, tandis que....mais ou est la principale alors?) blacks have the citizenship and the right to vote and equality with whites.

In 1892, following the arrest of a black man who refused to leave the place which he occupied in a compartment reserved for whites on a train, a trial takes place and the Supreme Court of the United States adopts the"separate but equal"(replacé devant) doctrine which legalizes and imposes racial segregation. Blacks are separated from whites in all areas of daily life.

After many struggles, many events (like those of Martin Luther King), Lyndon Baines Johnson signs July 2, 1964(mieux présenter cette date)the Civil Rights Act, which marks the end of segregation declaring discrimination basing on race, color, religion, sex or national origin illegal on all the American territory.

Today, Afro-Americans live freely and have the same rights as whites. They are real American citizens, but there are(racism est singulier) still a lot of racism and many blacks are the scapegoat(pluriel) or the excuses(sens?) for some people. Those who commit offences for example, and who accuse blacks on their place,
and whom everyone believes ...

But the election of Barak Obama to the presidency of the country shows that attitudes have changed.




Réponse: Correction synthèse de esmeraldaannaf, postée le 11-04-2011 à 19:42:40 (S | E)
Il n'y a que ca comme faut ? Parce que je trouve que ce n'est pas si terrible que ca ... Et merci Je corrige, dite moi si c'est ok ...

In 1619, the triangular trade birth to slavery, when 20 blacks were landed in Virginia and were employed in the plantations. For more than two centuries, blacks have no rights, no freedom. At the international, (quel est l'erreur ?) slave is officially banned in 1807 but in the United States, this situation will last until 1865, when slavery was abolished with the adoption of the 13th Amendment of the American Constitution. While (je peux l'enlever, non ?) blacks have the citizenship and the right to vote and equality with whites.

In 1892, following the arrest of a black man who refused to leave the place which he occupied in a compartment reserved for whites on a train, a trial takes place and the Supreme Court of the United States adopts the doctrine "equal but separate" which legalizes
and imposes racial segregation. Blacks are separated from whites in all areas of daily life.

After many struggles, many events (like those of Martin Luther King), Lyndon Baines Johnson signs on July 2nd 1964 the Civil Rights Act, which marks the end of segregation declaring discrimination bases on race, color, religion, sex or national origin illegal on all the
American territory.

Today, Afro-Americans live freely and have the same rights as whites. They are real American citizens, but there is still a lot of racism and many blacks are the scapegoats or the excuses (les noirs sont des excuses pour les blancs, ma prof comprendra on a vu ca en cours ...) for some people. Those who commit offences for example, and who accuse blacks in their place,
and whom everyone believes ...

But the election of Barak Obama to the presidency of the country shows that attitudes have changed.




Réponse: Correction synthèse de gerondif, postée le 11-04-2011 à 19:52:49 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Il n'y a que ça comme fautes ?

In 1619, the triangular trade (donna naissance: to give birth to)birth to slavery, when 20 blacks were landed in Virginia and were employed in the plantations. For more than two centuries, blacks have(prétérit?) no rights, no freedom. At the international, (quelle est l'erreur ?) slave (= à l'international esclave est interdit, pas de sens) is officially banned in 1807 but in the United States, this situation will last(prétérit) until 1865, when slavery was abolished with the adoption of the 13th Amendment of the American Constitution. Then (alors),blacks have(obtinrent, to get) the citizenship and the right to vote and equality with whites.

In 1892, following the arrest of a black man who (qui avait refusé)refused to leave the place which he occupied in a compartment reserved for whites on a train, a trial takes(prétérit) place and the Supreme Court of the United States adopts(prétérit) the doctrine "equal but separate" which legalizes
and imposes racial segregation. Blacks are separated from whites in all areas of daily life.(j'aurais tout mis au prétérit)

After many struggles, many events (like those of Martin Luther King), Lyndon Baines Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act on July 2nd,1964 , which marks the end of segregation declaring discrimination bases (participe passé, fondé sur) on race, color, religion, sex or national origin illegal on all the American territory.

Today, Afro-Americans live freely and have the same rights as whites. They are real American citizens, but there is still a lot of racism and many blacks are the scapegoats or an excuse (les noirs sont des excuses pour les blancs, ma prof comprendra on a vu ca en cours ...) for some people. Those who commit offences for example, and who accuse blacks in their place,
and whom everyone believes ...

But the election of Barak Obama to the presidency of the country shows that attitudes have changed.




Réponse: Correction synthèse de esmeraldaannaf, postée le 11-04-2011 à 20:15:43 (S | E)
J'ai fais exprès de tout mettre au présent ... Arf, je vais y arriver ...

In 1619, the triangular trade gives birth to slavery, when 20 blacks were landed in Virginia and were employed in the plantations. For more than two centuries, blacks had no rights, no freedom. At the international, slavery is officially banned in 1807 but in the United States, this situation will lasted until 1865, when slavery was abolished with the adoption of the 13th Amendment of the American Constitution. Then, blacks obtained the citizenship and the right to vote and equality with whites.

In 1892, following the arrest of a black man who had refused to leave the place which he occupied in a compartment reserved for whites on a train, a trial taked place and the Supreme Court of the United States adopted the doctrine "equal but separate" which legalizes and imposes racial segregation. Blacks are separated from whites in all areas of daily life.

After many struggles, many events (like those of Martin Luther King), Lyndon Baines Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act on July 2nd,1964 , which marks the end of segregation declaring discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex or national origin illegal on all the American territory.

Today, Afro-Americans live freely and have the same rights as whites. They are real American citizens, but there is still a lot of racism and many blacks are the scapegoats or an excuse for some people. Those who commit offences for example, and who accuse blacks in their place, and whom everyone believes ...







Réponse: Correction synthèse de gerondif, postée le 11-04-2011 à 20:21:18 (S | E)
well,

In 1619, the triangular trade gives(prétérit) birth to slavery, when 20 blacks were landed in Virginia and were employed in the plantations. For more than two centuries, blacks had no rights, no freedom. At the international, slavery is(prétérit) officially banned in 1807 but in the United States, this situation will lasted until 1865, when slavery was abolished with the adoption of the 13th Amendment of the American Constitution. Then, blacks obtained the citizenship and the right to vote and equality with whites.

In 1892, following the arrest of a black man who had refused to leave the place which he occupied in a compartment reserved for whites on a train, a trial taked(irrégulier) place and the Supreme Court of the United States adopted the doctrine "equal but separate" which legalizes and imposes racial segregation. Blacks are separated from whites in all areas of daily life.(prétérits?)

After many struggles, many events (like those of Martin Luther King), Lyndon Baines Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act on July 2nd,1964 , which marks the end of segregation declaring discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex or national origin illegal on all the American territory.(préterits? )(le présent de narration style prof d'histoire se comprend si tout le paragraphe s'y tient)

Today, Afro-Americans live freely and have the same rights as whites. They are real American citizens, but there is still a lot of racism and many blacks are the scapegoats or an excuse for some people. Those who commit offences for example, and who accuse blacks in their place, and whom everyone believes ...






Réponse: Correction synthèse de esmeraldaannaf, postée le 11-04-2011 à 20:33:23 (S | E)
En fait, en anglais le présent de naration ca ne va pas ? Il faut mettre au preterit ?

In 1619, the triangular trade gave birth to slavery, when 20 blacks were landed in Virginia and were employed in the plantations. For more than two centuries, blacks had no rights, no freedom. All over the world, slavery was officially banned in 1807 but in the United States, this situation will lasted until 1865, when slavery was abolished with the adoption of the 13th Amendment of the American Constitution. Then, blacks obtained the citizenship and the right to vote and equality with whites.

In 1892, following the arrest of a black man who had refused to leave the place which he occupied in a compartment reserved for whites on a train, a trial took place and the Supreme Court of the United States adopted the doctrine "equal but separate" which legalizes and imposes racial segregation. Blacks were separated from whites in all areas of daily life.

After many struggles, many events (like those of Martin Luther King), Lyndon Baines Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act on July 2nd,1964 , which marks the end of segregation declaring discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex or national origin illegal on all the American territory.

Today, Afro-Americans live freely and have the same rights as whites. They are real American citizens, but there is still a lot of racism and many blacks are the scapegoats or an excuse for some people. Those who commit offences for example, and who accuse blacks in their place, and whom everyone believes ...






Réponse: Correction synthèse de gerondif, postée le 11-04-2011 à 23:41:32 (S | E)
Let's go !
In 1619, the triangular trade gave birth to slavery, when 20 blacks were landed in Virginia and were employed in the plantations. For more than two centuries, blacks had no rights, no freedom. Slavery was officially banned all over the world in 1807 but in the United States, this situation will lasted until 1865, when slavery was abolished with the adoption of the 13th Amendment of the American Constitution. As a consequence, blacks obtained their citizenship, the right to vote and equality with whites.

In 1892, following the arrest of a black man who had refused to leave the place which he occupied in a compartment reserved for whites on a train, a trial took place and the Supreme Court of the United States adopted the doctrine "equal but separate" which legalizes and imposes racial segregation. Blacks were separated from whites in all areas of daily life.
(après deux paragraphes au passé, ce paragraphe au présent vient un peu comme un cheveu sur la soupe)
After many struggles, many events (like those of Martin Luther King (MLK est il vraiment "un évènement"?), Lyndon Baines Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act on July 2nd,1964 , which marks the end of segregation declaring discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex or national origin illegal on all the American territory.

Today, Afro-Americans live freely and have the same rights as whites. They are real American citizens, but there is still a lot of racism and many blacks are the scapegoats or an excuse for some people. Those who commit offences for example, and who accuse blacks in their place, and whom everyone believes ...







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