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Message de roberta posté le 16-05-2011 à 08:40:05 (S | E | F)
Could you please proofread my text?
Thank you for your help.
This passage is drawn from “Midnight’s Children” by Salman Rushdie.
The action takes place, during the night, in one child’s nightmare. There are many elements which indicate a nightmare setting such as: “No colours except green and black the walls are green the sky is black “and another element which indicates nightmare is “midnight “. We are in front of an unreal setting, besides the action takes place during “midnight” a magical time.
The characters are: one child/narrator, children, a widow, the sister of one’s child. The lexical field (adjectives, verbs) used to describe characters has negative connotations and quite often relate to two colours (black and green).
Children are green, their blood is black and their skin is green. During the nightmare children’s fears occur: “darkness”, “snakes”, “blood”, “widow”, their “fear is black”. Even the verbs used indicate children’s fears, they : “scream”, “run”, “are stifled”,” torn”, “shrink”, “rolling”, “cowering crawling”. They run from their fears because they are afraid.
As regard the widow, she is described like a witch, she is “green”, “her hair is black as black”, “her “hair has a centre-parting it is green on the left and on the right black”, “Widow's arm is long”, her “skin is green”, her “fingernails are long and sharp and black”, her “tongue is green” and her “teeth are black”.
The verbs used to describe her have a negative connotation, she is: hunting, lifting children and she is cutting them with her fingernails. She is children’s antagonist.
The last character is the sister of one’s child, she is an antagonist too. She pushes out her brother.
The rhythm is very quick, everything happens faster and faster. This effect of speed is made by the lack of punctuation as well the words “onebyone” written together, so in this way the writer creates a sense of speed. The author further uses a lot of “ing”form verbs to make narration faster.
As the text is written we identify with the protagonist we are like him out of breath.
Concerning the mood, there is a nightmare atmosphere, an increasing suspence, both the protagonist and the reader are out of breath, this latter can feel protagonist’s increasing fear, which stops only at the end of the passage.
The language used reproduces efficiently children’s dream and way of tell.
The sentences are very long and there is no punctuation, the lack of punctuation gives a sense of chaos and expresses the unconscious. On the other hand, the brackets symbolically represent the conscious: (there is no roof); (of green); (the walls are green the shadows black).The use of capital letters: ( Black, Monkey, Widow, Hand), in this case, it is a way of representing our fears that during the night appear bigger than they are.
This text is also full of repetitions like: “hunting hunting”,” the night the night”, “rolling rolling”. They give emphasis to the text. Furthermore, there are figures of speech: onomatopoeias (mmff, splash) and a simile (Widow's arm is long as death). The onomatopoeias represent two different things, the first represent the silence, the second one reproduce a noise. The simile, as we know, is used to compare two different things, so in these two cases the writer uses these figures of speech to give emphasis.
The colours, green and black, occur several times during narration and they are used like negative symbols.
We can define the text’s Style magic realism, in which magical elements are blended into a realistic atmosphere in order to access a deeper understanding of reality.
The Narration is in first person, in fact the story is told by a child in first person narrator.
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