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Correction/Luck at the airport

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Luck at the airport
Message de kool posté le 25-05-2011 à 22:47:17 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,

je dois rédiger une expression écrite dont voici le sujet:
Write a story about an exciting opportunity.
Voilà ce que j'ai écrit:

I couldn’t believe my luck; it was a chance of a lifetime!
When I was travelling with my family to France, the airport organized a draw for all the travelers to France and I was the winner.
I won a free week at Walt Disney for me and all my family. When we got there, we began by visiting that wonderful place. It was enormous, with a lot of different attractions, and our room was huge too. We passed six days of fun, and I’ve tried all the attractions. It was so funny, but there were some attractions which make you feel afraid like: Tower of terror.
We also visit Paris and its popular places such as: the Eifel Tower, les champs-élysées…
But my joy ended the seventh day because we had to leave from that place where I’ve passed an unforgettable week.
However, it wasn’t the end of my holiday because since the trip in France was free, we decided to use the money we had left in order to extend our holiday. So we went to Barcelona where we spent another week of fun.

Pouvez-vous SVP s'il vous plaît corriger les fautes?
Et merci d'avance.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-05-2011 22:50


Réponse: Correction/Luck at the airport de notrepere, postée le 26-05-2011 à 05:18:16 (S | E)
Hello

I couldn’t believe my luck; it was a chance of a lifetime!
When I was travelling with my family to France, the airport organized a drawing for all the travelers to France and I was the winner.
I won a free week at Walt Disney for me and all my family [on dirait: my entire/whole family]. When we got there, we began by visiting that wonderful place. It was enormous, with a lot of different attractions, and our room was huge too. We passed [passer ne se traduit pas comme 'pass' dans le contexte] six days of fun, and I’ve tried all the attractions. It was so funny, but there were some attractions which make you feel afraid like: Tower of terror.
We also visit__ Paris and its popular places such as: the Eifel Tower, les champs-élysées…
But my joy ended the seventh day because we had to leave from that place where I’ve passed an unforgettable week.
However, it wasn’t the end of my holiday because since the trip to France was free, we decided to use the money we had left in order to extend our holiday. So we went to Barcelona where we spent [la bonne traduction du verbe passer] another week of fun.

Cordialement




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