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Discours/correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Discours/correction
Message de chosta posté le 26-11-2011 à 18:50:11 (S | E | F)
Hello,

Je suis en seconde et on a eu comme devoir d'anglais la rédaction d'un discours réclamant la restitution de la frise du Parthenon aux Grecs par les Anglais.
Je dois défendre le point de vue grec.
Merci pour vos corrections et vos avis.

As you know, there is a terrible showdown between Great Britain and Greece concerning the Parthenon Marbles ownership.
This conflict has stirred up a huge controversy in each country for a long time.
Today, in conformance with our status of Greek deputes, we are going to introduce you our patriot viewpoint more incisive than the British one.
First of all, you British are robbers. You have stolen our frieze. You took it away without proper transaction. It belongs to us and our biggest wish is its return. Our request is legitimate, and you are the one to blame.
How a state like yours claiming its democratic values can act like this ? This behaviour can’t be sanctioned. You are out-law.
Moreover, you have enough great and famous monuments like Big Ben or the Tower of London which are known all around the world. You don’t need a Greek monument to attract tourists. You should be pleased by your own masterpieces and give us back our pride, our Marbles.
Furthermore, some of the British have spoken about our debts but we can point out the fact that arts and culture have nothing in common with money.
Moreover, the economic crisis is globalized and all the European countries are affected. The removal of the frieze can be a solution to this crisis, because the Greek tourism is going to increase and the economy of the country will get better.
Consequently, your aims seem grasping, only earnings motivate you. You didn’t’t introduce the beauty and the value of the Marbles but you have spoken about the number of visitors you have thank to it. You didn’t’t preserve it enough and we can say that you damage the frieze more than it could ever been in Greece.
You have mutilated the symbol of the Greek democracy, its pride and dignity.
You make so much money off us ! How can you dare speaking about our debts with your selfish attitude ?
In addition, our request concerning the reunification of the frieze is linked to the rights of humanity because it’s about the preservation of cultural identity and world heritage. Moreover, according to the declaration of universal human and cultural rights, we have the duty to preserve our cultural heritage in totality . So, the Greek state has the right to take care of the whole frieze which implies its removal.
To conclude, Greeks a part of our greekness is in another state. Citizen, we must act now and stitch our identity back !
The frieze is the link between our past, our present and our future. That’s why the flame of our resistance won’t be blow away.
Our faith is stronger than never, what have been taken is going to be our property again. As we say, we must give to Caesar what is Caesar’s. So our last words are : the British must give to Greek what is Greek’s.
Believe in us, believe in Greece.
Thank you and sign our petition !

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-11-2011 19:13


Réponse: Discours/correction de notrepere, postée le 27-11-2011 à 00:24:24 (S | E)
Bonjour!

Votre texte est bon.

As you know, there is a terrible showdown between Great Britain and Greece concerning the Parthenon Marbles ownership (1).
This conflict has stirred up (2) a huge controversy in each country for a long time.
Today, in conformance with our status of Greek deputes (3), we are going to introduce you (4) our patriot viewpoint more incisive than the British one (5).
First of all, you British are robbers (6). You have stolen our frieze. You took it away without proper transaction (7). It belongs to us and our biggest wish is its return. Our request is legitimate, and you are the one to blame.


(1) ordre des mots; je dirais 'the ownership of the Panthenon Marbles'
(2) pas le meilleur verbe; je dirais: created
(3) ces mots n'ont pas de sens; que voulez-vous dire en français ?
(4) préposition manquante : introduce [someone] to
(5) tournure de phrase; à refaire
(6) je dirais: thieves
(7) un autre mot comme paperwork, permission, approval





Réponse: Discours/correction de chosta, postée le 27-11-2011 à 10:35:09 (S | E)
Bonjour,


Merci pour les retouches. Pour la coorection du petit , je voulais dire en tant que députés grecs, en conformance avec notre statut de députés grecs !
merci encore




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