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Minority Report/Correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Minority Report/Correction
Message de princessblood posté le 15-04-2012 à 16:14:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Pourriez-vous m'aider à me corriger, s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.

Before we proceed, it is interesting to note that the movie called Minority Report has been produced just after the tragedy of 9/11.Is it a simple coincidence? Is Minority Report a vehicle for a message? Is it Spielberg’s goal to produce a thought-provoking movie while important debates are brewing and while American citizens have to take part in these? We are going to uncover the opinion of this people through two examples I will develop below.
At first sight, if I had just watched in June 2002, that is to say barely one year after the tragic event of the September 11 attacks that shook the United States, I would immediately have convinced that the governmental intrusion into personal matters was necessary and essential to ensure safety of its citizens. To understand the reasons that lead me to subscribe to this doctrine a tiny bit extremist, we have to step into my shoes, to imagine my mental state, my likely weakness due to the loss of a close relative. If 9/11 had ravaged me a lot, had put me in a deep depression, it would be totally normal not to want such a catastrophe to be repeated. So that my wish come true among the enduring and politic conflict of the country, I would chose the party that would have suggested a radical but effective resolution: increase the presence of the government in every city, town and street thanks to the putting in of cameras, retinal scans. It would allow the police force to arrest criminals and perhaps to stop crimes.
But on second thought, after some months or even some years, my injury would close up a little, my thirst for vengeance and safety would subside little-by-little. Although the memory of the sorrow stay, the ridiculousness of my way of thinking would have been blindingly obvious. The ridiculousness but also the dangerousness of such a support for an extremist party. So, the movie Minority Report would still affect my opinion about the current debates in United States post 9/11 after some years because the power of destruction of the government would be too important. For instance, the country could force us to enlist to wage war in foreign countries because we are blackmailed. The politic leaders could threaten us with our secrets that could be revealed. So they would have power to throw off balance our lives.
Let me conclude by saying that even if some American citizens have definitely could be convinced of the necessity of governmental intrusion to protect them, others have could changed their opinion, as is the case in the examples herein. Minority Report can be a movie that affects the public opinion of a country, here the United States of America.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-04-2012 21:04


Réponse: Minority Report/Correction de gerondif, postée le 15-04-2012 à 19:40:23 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Before we proceed, it is interesting to note that the movie called Minority Report has been produced (comme c'est daté, j'aurais mis un prétérit)just after the tragedy of 9/11.Is it a simple coincidence? Is Minority Report a vehicle for a message? Is it Spielberg’s goal to produce a thought-provoking movie while important debates are brewing and while American citizens have to take part in these? We are going to uncover the opinion of this people (people a un sens pluriel) through two examples I will develop below.
At first sight, if I had just watched (the film) in June 2002, that is to say barely one year after the tragic event of the September 11 attacks that shook the United States, I would immediately have (....)convinced (j'aurais été convaincue que) that the governmental intrusion into personal matters was necessary and essential to ensure safety of its(fait référence à qui comme propriétaire, on a juste un adjectif "governmental", devant) citizens. To understand the reasons that lead me to subscribe to this doctrine a tiny bit extremist(structure française, l'adjectif étant derrière le nom), we(you?) have to step into my shoes, to imagine my mental state, my likely weakness due to the loss of a close relative. If 9/11 had ravaged me a lot, had put me into a deep depression, it would be totally normal for me not to want such a catastrophe to be repeated. So that my wish come(présent simple?) true among the enduring and political conflict of the country, I would chose the party that would have suggested a radical but effective resolution: to increase the presence of the government in every city, town and street thanks to the putting in (me semble maladroit) of cameras, retinal scans. It would allow the police force to arrest criminals and perhaps to stop crimes.
But on second thoughts, after some months or even some years, my injury would close up a little, my thirst for vengeance and safety would subside little-by-little. Although the memory of the sorrow stay(ce présent ne me semble pas concorder avec "auraît été évidente"), the ridiculousness of my way of thinking would have been blindingly obvious. The ridiculousness but also the dangerousness of such a support for an extremist party.

So, the movie Minority Report would still affect my opinion about the current debates in the United States post 9/11 after some years because the power of destruction of the government would be too important.(je ne comprends pas pourquoi ces phrases sont au conditionnel)

For instance, the country could force us to enlist to wage war in foreign countries because we are blackmailed. The political leaders could threaten us with our secrets that could be revealed (nous menacer de révéler nos secrets serait plus direct). So they would have power to throw our lives off balance .

Let me conclude by saying that even if some American citizens have definitely could be convinced (mal construit)of the necessity of governmental intrusion to protect them, others have could changed (mal construit) their opinion, as is the case in the examples herein(mot rare). Minority Report can be (dans quel sens ce can be?) a movie that affects the public opinion of a country, here the United States of America.





Réponse: Minority Report/Correction de princessblood, postée le 16-04-2012 à 13:00:32 (S | E)
Merci. Mais je ne vois pas ce qu'il y a de faux dans la construction des dernières phrases.
Faut-il dire : "have could be definitely convinced"? Par contre pour "have could changed" je ne vois pas où est l'erreur. Peut-on m'aider à comprendre?



Réponse: Minority Report/Correction de bluestar, postée le 16-04-2012 à 13:52:55 (S | E)
Bonjour....

The order of words is wrong in these phrases. The correct order is:
Could + have + past participle.

Elsewhere, "danger" is better than "dangerousness". "Heal" is better than "close up", that is, "my injury would heal a little"

-------------------
Modifié par bluestar le 16-04-2012 14:05





Réponse: Minority Report/Correction de gerondif, postée le 16-04-2012 à 13:59:26 (S | E)
Bonjour,
vous avez fait une traduction littérale, type traducteur:
some American citizens have definitely could be convinced
certains citoyens américains ont certainement pu être convaincus
mais ça ne marche pas car can n'a pas de participe passé, could est faux.
Vous émettez une hypothèse, donc il faudrait utiliser may ou might ou could mais en début de structure dans le sens: il se peut que, il se pourrait que....

"Why didn't he come to the meeting?"
"I dont know: he might have been frightened:"
il se pourrait qu'il ait été effrayé





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