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Gothic Novel/correction (1)

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Gothic Novel/correction
Message de eloiseguil posté le 19-02-2013 à 19:46:19
Bonsoir ,

Je dois faire la 4ème de couverture d'un roman gothique avec :
- au moins 2 verbes au prétérit
- au moins 2 verbes au present perfect
- au moins 2 adverbes de temps
- au moins 2 discours directs
- vocabulaire + maitrise de la langue

The story takes place in 1717, in England. Nomaton young man of 21 years is a vampire . He sent by his parents to find Lisa, her future wife,that chose Nomaton' parents for their son. But Nomaton don't had favorite, but his favorite are for sister'Lisa, the girl is Capucine but this two sisters not agree, and more Capucine isn't a vampire. "If I had choose the girl that marry, it's easy, but the fate has decided otherwise ,said Nomaton "If Nomaton marry with a wife not vampire, he loses his vampire'powers for always, his family lose too his vampire'powers, his nights be will always haunted by nughtmares, the Devil be will up to his death often and more, his luck will not leave never. Will Nomaton, choose love or family? Will lose his powers ?? His family him want it ? Capucune'love is it worth the trouble ?? "If you not marry with Lisa, you'll regret it," said his father. This sentence be will respect if Normaton will marry with Capucine ?? Nomaton has throught this problem day and night. When he has found, he changes his opinion.

Pourriez- vous corriger ce petit texte pour me dire s'il y a des fautes d'orthographe, de grammaire, de conjugaison et s'il y a des expressions fausses.
Merci à l'avance.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-02-2013 20:59
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-02-2013 21:11
Votre texte provient de toute évidence d'un traducteur en ligne, ce que nous ne corrigeons pas car votre travail n'a aucun sens.
Vous pouvez consulter un dictionnaire (pas un traducteur) en faisant un double clic sur un mot.
Merci de nous proposer un travail personnel qui sera alors sans doute vérifié.



Réponse: Gothic Novel/correction de notrepere, postée le 20-02-2013 à 08:38:58
Hello

The story takes place in 1717, in England. Nomaton a young man of 21 years is a vampire . He sent by his parents to find Lisa, her future wife,that chose Nomaton' parents for their son. But Nomaton don't had favorite, but his favorite are for sister'Lisa, the girl is Capucine but this two sisters not agree, and more Capucine isn't a vampire. "If I had choose the girl that marry, it's easy, but the fate has decided otherwise ,said Nomaton "If Nomaton marry with a wife not vampire, he loses his vampire'powers for always, his family lose too his vampire'powers, his nights be will always haunted by nughtmares, the Devil be will up to his death often and more, his luck will not leave never. Will Nomaton, choose love or family? Will lose his powers ?? His family him want it ? Capucune'love is it worth the trouble ?? "If you not marry with Lisa, you'll regret it," said his father. This sentence be will respect if Normaton will marry with Capucine ?? Nomaton has throught this problem day and night. When he has found, he changes his opinion.

La plupart de vos phrases n'ont aucun sens. Que veut dire 'be will'?


Réponse: Gothic Novel/correction de eloiseguil, postée le 20-02-2013 à 11:39:06
be will veut dire "il sera"

L'histoire se passe en 1717 en Angleterre. Nomaton un jeune homme de 21 ans est un vampire.Il est envoye par ses parents pour rencontrer Lisa, la future qu'à choisi les parents de Nomaton pour leur fils. Mais Nomaton n'a pas eu le coup de coeur pour Lisa, mais son coup se tourne vers la soeur de Lisa, Capucine. Mais ces deux soeurs ne s'entendent pas deplus Capucine n'est pas un vampire. " Si je n'avais qu'à choisir celle que j'épouserai ce serai facile, mais le sort en a décidé autrement , dit Nomaton". Si Nomaton se marri avec une autre femme non vampire, il perdra ses pouvoirs de vampire pour toujours, sa famille perdra aussi ses pouvoirs pour toujours, ses nuits seront toujours hantées par des cauchemars, le Diable sera avec lui jusquà sa mort et au delà, sa malchance ne partira jamais. Nomaton choisira t-il l'amour ou sa famille? Va t- il perdre ses pouvoirs ? Sa famille lui en voudra t-elle ? L'amour de Capucine en vaut-il la peine ? "Si tu ne te marris pas avec Lisa tu le regretteras" dit son père", sera t-elle respecter si Nomaton se marrit avec Capucine ?? Il réfléchit à toutes ces questions jour et nuit, quand il pense avoir fait son choix il change encore de décisions .. que choisira t-il ??

Voilà mon texte en Français .. Pour certaines expressions comme " coup de coeur " j'ai cherché sur google traduction donc je ne sais pas si c'est les bonnes traductions.

Merci d'avance.


Réponse: Gothic Novel/correction de tribalkyp, postée le 20-02-2013 à 14:56:17
Bonjour,

"Be will" n'existe pas en anglais. It should be "will be".


Réponse: Gothic Novel/correction de bluestar, postée le 20-02-2013 à 16:29:46
Bonjour...

The story takes place in 1717, in England. Nomaton a young man of 21 years is a vampire . He is sent by his parents to find Lisa, her his future wife,that chosen by Nomaton's parents for their son. But Nomaton don't had favorite, but his favorite are for did not fall in love with sister'Lisa,but with her sister Capucine .the girl is Capucine Bbut this article défini ici two sisters not agree, and furthermore Capucine isn't a vampire. "If I had choose the girl that I marry, it's easy, but the fate has decided otherwise ,said Nomaton "If Nomaton marry with a wife (une autre femme = another woman)not a vampire, he loses (temps; il faut le futur) his vampire'powers forever always, his family lose (temps; futur) too his their vampire'powers too, his nights be will (ordre)always haunted by niughtmares, the Devil be will (ordre) (avec lui = with him) up to his death often and more beyond , his bad luck(malchance) will not leave never. Will Nomaton, choose love or family? Will (pronom personnel?) lose his powers ?? Will his His family him want it ? Capucune'love is it worth the trouble (Ordre: Is Capucine's love etc) ?? "If you do not marry with Lisa, you'll regret it," said his father. This sentence be will respect if Normaton will marry with Capucine ?? Nomaton has throught about this problem day and night. When he thinks he has made his choice found, he changes his opinion decision. What will he choose?

-------------------


Réponse: Gothic Novel/correction de notrepere, postée le 20-02-2013 à 16:56:27
Hello bluestar

That's very impressive, but what will the student learn if you do their work for them?


Réponse: Gothic Novel/correction de bluestar, postée le 20-02-2013 à 19:40:40
Hello..

I think NotrePere exaggerates somewhat. This student will, I hope, learn a few things from my suggestions: for example, to be careful with tenses, to read the text carefully, that one marries someone and not marries "with" them, and what 'avoir un coup de coeur' means etc. That is about all one can hope for from a very short text. I think if one just indicates that there are many errors and leaves it at that, that puts the onus entirely on the student to go back to the textbook (or the teacher or the Internet) to have the grammatical point clarified. Frequently, when there are many errors, as in this case, there is not enough time for this as student is faced with a class deadline for submitting his work -- so there is a balance to be struck between, essentially, too much help and too little.


Réponse: Gothic Novel/correction de notrepere, postée le 20-02-2013 à 19:47:01
Votre père n'exagère jamais !! And I be will marry with my wife if never I want to (in Hollywoodlui, of course)!!


Réponse: Gothic Novel/correction de lucile83, postée le 20-02-2013 à 21:08:53
Hello,

C'est pire qu'une traduction en ligne!
On ne peut refaire le texte entier. Cela doit être votre travail personnel.
Voici la traduction en ligne que j'ai testée; je vois beaucoup de similitudes.Le pire est que vous avez rajouté des fautes.

The history(story) takes place in 1717 in England. Nomaton a 21-year-old young man is a vampire. He is envoye by his parents(relatives) to meet Lisa, the intended that in chosen the parents(relatives) of Nomaton as their son. But Nomaton had no very favorite for Lisa, but its blow turns(shoots) to the sister of Lisa, Capucine. But these two sisters do not get on(hear each other) deplus Capucine is not a vampire. " If I had only to choose the one that I shall marry it shall be easy, but the fate(spell) decided on it otherwise(differently), says Nomaton ". If Nomaton sad with another woman not vampire, he(it) will lose his(its) powers of vampire for ever, his(its) family will also lose its powers for ever, its nights will always be haunted by .....

Holllywoodlui ...yes!




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