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Correction /Fair trade

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction /Fair trade
Message de raflop posté le 19-03-2013 à 02:00:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde !

Je vous propose si vous le voulez bien de m'aider à corriger mon futur exposé sur le sujet du commerce équitable. Il n'est pas en entier car nous sommes en binôme pour l'accomplir. Je vous expose donc ici l'introduction et une des parties. N'hésitez pas à me dire ce qui ne va pas !!! Merci.

Introduction :

Today we are going to explain what is the fair trade. There are many definitions of fair trade however no universally accepted definition of 'fair trade' exists thus we have chosen to take this one :
« A movement which strives for fair treatment for farmers. In a fair trade agreement, farmers, who in other situations might be more susceptible to the will of the purchaser, will negotiate with the purchasers in order to receive a fair price for their products. Farmers who engage in fair trade also aim to pay their workers a fair price, and engage in environmentally-friendly practices ».
We have divided our presentation into three parts :
First, we will explain the characteristics of fair trade
Then, we will move on to an example of a fair trade association with Max Havelaar France.
Finally, we will focus on the limits of fair trade.
And now, I will give the floor to deal with fair trade’s features.

II) An example : Max Havelaar France :

Now let’s move on to the next part with an example of a faitrade association: Max Havelaar in France. This association was established in 1992, and is now a major player of the fair trade. Max Havelaar is a nonprofit organization, and the French member of the international association Fairtrade Labelling Organizations International (FLO International). Max Havelaar is supported by the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the European Commission.
The association’s goals are the same as we have seen before. However, the main purpose is to support little producers from the South. We can analyze the turnover of the fair trade in France represented by Max Havelaar to illustrate the evolution. In 2006, fair trade’s revenue was at 166 million of euros and in 2011, it was at 315 million of euros. So the fair trade’s turnover almost doubled in only five years.
Finally, we can see that Max Havelaar’s label appears on many products like dried fruits, chocolate, fruits, sugar or rice for examples.

Merci de votre aide.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-03-2013 06:24


Réponse: Correction /Fair trade de laure95, postée le 19-03-2013 à 10:53:54 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici les points à reprendre:

Introduction :

Today we are going to explain what is the fair trade (inverser l'ordre car c'est une question indirecte pas directe). There are many definitions of fair trade however no universally accepted definition of 'fair trade' exists thus we have chosen to take this one :
« A movement which strives for fair treatment for farmers. In a fair trade agreement, farmers, who in other situations might be more susceptible to the will of the purchaser, will (pourquoi untiliser le futur?) negotiate with the purchasers in order to receive a fair price for their products. Farmers who engage (forme du verbe) in fair trade also aim to pay their workers a fair price, and engage in environmentally-friendly practices ».
We have divided our presentation into three parts :
First, we will explain the characteristics of fair trade
Then, we will move on to an example of a fair trade association with Max Havelaar France.
Finally, we will focus on the limits of fair trade.
And now, I will give the floor to deal with fair trade’s features (tu ne peux pas faire ici un cas possessif car ce n'est ni une personne, ni un lieu, ni un complément de temps).

II) An example : Max Havelaar France :

Now let’s move on to the next part with an example of a faitrade (faute de frappe?) association: Max Havelaar in France. This association was established in 1992, and is now a major player of the fair trade. Max Havelaar is a nonprofit organization, and the French member of the international association Fairtrade Labelling Organizations International (FLO International). Max Havelaar is supported by the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the European Commission.
The association’s goals are the same as we have seen before. However, the main purpose is to support little producers from the South. We can analyze the turnover of the fair trade in France represented by Max Havelaar to illustrate the evolution. In 2006, fair trade’s revenue was at 166 million of euros and in 2011, it was at 315 million of euros. So the fair trade’s turnover almost doubled (tu fais un bilan donc utilise le présent perfect) in only five years.
Finally, we can see that Max Havelaar’s label appears on many products like dried fruits, chocolate, fruits, sugar or rice for examples (pas de "s").



Réponse: Correction /Fair trade de raflop, postée le 19-03-2013 à 11:42:01 (S | E)
Coucou, merci pour ton aide. J'ai quasiment tout corrigé hormis la préposition devant le "166 million" car je ne sais pas laquelle choisir du tout ...
En ce qui concerne les fautes sur la définition, elle ne vient pas de moi, je l'ai trouvé ici : Lien internet
. Qu'en dis-tu ?

Voila après correction ma création :


Introduction :

Today we are going to explain what the fair trade is. There are many definitions of fair trade however no universally accepted definition of 'fair trade' exists thus we have chosen to take this one :
« A movement which strives for fair treatment for farmers. In a fair trade agreement, farmers, who in other situations might be more susceptible to the will of the purchaser, will negotiate with the purchasers in order to receive a fair price for their products. Farmers who engage in fair trade also aim to pay their workers a fair price, and engage in environmentally-friendly practices ».
We have divided our presentation into three parts :
First, we will explain the characteristics of fair trade
Then, we will move on to an example of a fair trade association with Max Havelaar France.
Finally, we will focus on the limits of fair trade.
And now, I will give the floor to deal with the features of fair trade.


II) An example : Max Havelaar France :

Now let’s move on to the next part with an example of a fair trade association: Max Havelaar in France. This association was established in 1992, and is now a major player of the fair trade. Max Havelaar is a nonprofit organization, and the French member of the international association Fairtrade Labelling Organizations International (FLO International). Max Havelaar is supported by the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the European Commission.
The association’s goals are the same as we have seen before. However, the main purpose is to support little producers from the South. We can analyze the turnover of the fair trade in France represented by Max Havelaar to illustrate the evolution. In 2006, the revenue of the fair trade was at 166 million euros and in 2011, it was 315 million euros. So the turnover of the fair trade has almost doubled in only five years.
Finally, we can see that Max Havelaar’s label appears on many products like dried fruits, chocolate, fruits, sugar or rice for example.



Réponse: Correction /Fair trade de laure95, postée le 19-03-2013 à 15:05:29 (S | E)
Ok, excuse-moi pour la définition, je n'avais pas vu les guillemets. De ce fait, oublie mes remarques sur la définition.
Ensuite, moi je ne mettrais pas de préposition devant tes chiffres. Mais, je ne suis pas bilingue ou native. Donc, à vérifier auprès de spécialistes en anglais!




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