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Correction/ mail

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/ mail
Message de carol11 posté le 18-04-2013 à 11:37:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,

Pouvez-vous s'il vous plaît m'aider pour corriger les fautes grammaticales?
Merci pour vos réponses.

Il s'agit d'un mail à écrire aux clients d'une agence de voyage.

from:...
to:..
Subject:...
Date:...

Mr and Mrs Jarrett,

In reply to your e-mail dated 10th Monday 20XX, thank you for your asking to your next holidays on August.
After to examine your requirements and your previous holiday travel a few years ago, in French Riviera, I would like to propose you a holiday travel in Corsica.
If you was appreciated a French Riviera, you will be loved Corsica, because it such as French Riviera but much more quiet and reach in the all of the landscapes.
At first, it is a good period for enjoying of Corsica in the end of August. The temperature of water is 24°C. It’s not far away from London in the flight not directly but who goes to Paris at first and after that to capital of Corsica in Ajaccio.
Corsica is a region of France but the people are more relaxed because of the environment and the favourite climate. Where you find coastline around the region, the different and various landscapes like a high-altitude, creeks, granite canyons with a fabulous seeing. This island is ideally for a relaxed holidays in freedom to enjoy of the beaches and swim, that all with a good services in hotels, local markets and a quality of a local food.
I recommend you goes to Corsica for approximately one week and a hire a car for few days just for your own pleasure to discover a different places other where are you stay. Your programme can be like this; on arrival on Ajaccio airport, you will be transferred to your hotel in taxi, it costs 36 euro. We worked always with an hotel, who I think suit you with a 3* on the centre of Ajaccio. This a good emplacement for discover the town and goes to the beach. The situation of this hotel is perfectly, because it is at 7 km from airport. If you don’t want to take a taxi, it is possible to take a shuttle bus that are cost more than taxi, costs 16 euro per person.
About vacancies, this hotel have got a double rooms with all comfort do you need, like a bathroom with a blow-dryer, mini-bar, TV with satellite, telephone and wifi access. The rooms are alls acclimatised. The approximately rate of the double room is 90 euro the rate dependants of the date of reservation.
More important to know when you goes to Corsica is a rich heritage and gastronomy, like a pork specialities or fish and seafood. All of this you can taste in the numerous restaurants.
We are pleased to enclose herewith a leaflet about Corsica.
I hope this suggestion will be suit for you.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
A.B.
Agent travel

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2013 12:10


-------------------
Modifié par carol11 le 23-07-2013 19:20


-------------------
Modifié par carol11 le 23-07-2013 19:24




Réponse: Correction/ mail de lucile83, postée le 22-04-2013 à 08:29:21 (S | E)
Anyone?



Réponse: Correction/ mail de carol11, postée le 22-04-2013 à 18:23:56 (S | E)
Quelqu'un peut-il m'aider s'il vous plaît? J'ai vraiment besoin d'aide pour cet exercice.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.



Réponse: Correction/ mail de lucile83, postée le 23-04-2013 à 21:54:56 (S | E)
Up...anyone?



Réponse: Correction/ mail de notrepere, postée le 23-04-2013 à 22:16:48 (S | E)
Bonjour

In reply to your e-mail dated Monday, the 10th, thank you for your asking to your next holidays on August.
After to examine(forme ing) your requirements and your previous holiday travel a few years ago, to the French Riviera, I would like to propose you a holiday travel in Corsica.
If you was appreciated a French Riviera, you will be loved Corsica, because it such as the French Riviera but much more quiet and reach in the all of the landscapes.
At firstFirst of all, it is a good period for enjoying of Corsica in the end of August. The temperature of water(construction française) is 24°C. It’s not far away from London in the flight not directly but who goes to Paris at first and after that to capital of Corsica in Ajaccio(cette phrase n'a aucun sens).
Corsica is a region of France but the people are more relaxed because of the environment and the favourite climate. Where you can find coastline around the region, the different and various landscapes like a high-altitude, creeks, granite canyons with a fabulous seeing . This island is ideally for a relaxed holidays in freedom to enjoy of the beaches and swim, that all with a good services in hotels, local markets and a quality of a local food.
I recommend you goes to Corsica for approximately one week and a hire a car for a few days just for your own pleasure to discover a different places other where are you stay.

Votre texte est très difficile à corriger car chaque phrase phrase contient plusieurs fautes.



Réponse: Correction/ mail de carol11, postée le 24-04-2013 à 11:34:20 (S | E)
Bonjour notrepere, merci beaucoup de votre aide.
J'ai essayé de corriger cette 1ère partie du mail:

In reply to your e-mail dated Monday, the 10th, thank you for your asking about your next holidays in August.
After to examining your requirements and your previous holiday travel a few years ago, to the French Riviera, I would like to propose a holiday travel in Corsica.

If you appreciated the French Riviera, you will love Corsica, because it likes the French Riviera but much more quiet and reach of the landscapes.
First of all, it is a good period for enjoying Corsica at the end of August.
The average sea temperatures are 24°C in August.

Corsica it’s not far away from London. The flight from Ajaccio has a stopover in Paris.
Corsica is a region of France but the people are more relaxed because of the environment and the favorite climate. You can find coastline around the region, the different and various landscapes like a high-altitude, creeks, and granite canyons with fabulous seeing. This island is ideal for relaxed holidays in freedom to enjoy the beaches and swim, that all with a good services in hotels, local markets and a quality of a local food.
I recommend you go to Corsica for approximately one week. Hire a car for a few days just for your own pleasure to discover other places where you never have been.

Bonne journée et merci encore !



Réponse: Correction/ mail de sherry48, postée le 24-04-2013 à 14:15:30 (S | E)
Hello.

There are still some things to work on.

In reply to your e-mail dated Monday, the 10th, thank you for your asking about your next holidays in August.
After to examining * your requirements and your previous holiday travel a few years ago, to the French Riviera,(I would reverse these 2 phrases) I would like to propose a holiday travel in** Corsica.

If you appreciated the French Riviera, you will love Corsica, because it ___ likes the French Riviera but much more quiet and reach of the landscapes. (This is still not right. I'm not sure exactly what you mean).
First of all, it is a good period for enjoying Corsica at the end of August. (It would flow better to say...First of all, the end of August...)
The average sea temperatures*** are 24°C in August.

Corsica it’s**** not far away from London. The flight from Ajaccio has a stopover in Paris.
Corsica is a region of France but the people are more relaxed because of the environment and the favorite (a different suffix) climate. You can find coastline around the region, the different and various landscapes like a high-altitude, creeks, and granite canyons with fabulous seeing.(The dictionary has another synonym). This island is ideal for relaxed holidays in freedom to enjoy the beaches and swim, that all with a good services in (the) hotels, local markets and a quality of a local food is _____.
I recommend ______ you go to Corsica for approximately one week. Hire a car for a few days just for your own pleasure to discover other places where you never have been. (order)

*To would be used only with the infinitive.
**Travel is usually a verb. Check the dictionary for a noun. Use a different preposition.
***This form is 'more English', but an average is singular.
****In English, we don't usually use this construction (noun, pronoun, verb). Just the noun and verb would be good here.

Sherry

-------------------
Modifié par sherry48 le 24-04-2013 14:15



Réponse: Correction/ mail de carol11, postée le 25-04-2013 à 09:24:51 (S | E)
Hello, thank you for your help sherry.

In reply to your e-mail dated Monday, the 10th, thank you for asking about your next holidays in August.
I would like to propose a holiday travel to Corsica, after examining your requirements and your previous holiday travel few years ago, at the French Riviera.
If you appreciated the French Riviera, you will love Corsica, because they have mutual interest. The difference in Corsica it is the wealth of the landscapes and the lifestyle of people who are more relaxed.

First of all, the end of August it is a good period for enjoying Corsica.
The average sea temperature is 24°C in August.

Corsica is not far away from London. The flight from Ajaccio has a stopover in Paris.

Corsica is a region of France but the people are more relaxed because of the environment and the favorable climate. You can find coastline around the region, the different and various landscapes like the high-altitude, creeks, and granite canyons with fabulous view. This island is ideal for relaxed holidays to enjoy in freedom of the beaches and swim, good service in the hotels, local markets and the quality of the local food.
I recommend to you go to Corsica for approximately one week. Hire a car for a few days just for your own pleasure to discover other places where you have never been.

Have a good day



Réponse: Correction/ mail de carol11, postée le 26-04-2013 à 13:14:48 (S | E)
Voilà la 2ème partie du mail que j'ai essayé de corriger un peu:

I recommend you go to Corsica for approximately one week. Hire a car for few days just for your own pleasure to discover different places other where are you stay.
Your programme can be like this; on arrival on Ajaccio airport, you will be transferred to your hotel in taxi, it costs 36 euro. We worked always with one hotel, who I think suit you with a 3 stars on the centre of Ajaccio. This is a good emplacement for discover the town and go to the beach. The situation of this hotel is perfectly, because it is at 7 km from airport.
If you don’t want to take the taxi, it is possible to take a shuttle bus that cost more than taxi, costs 16 euro per person.

About vacancies, this hotel have got double rooms with all comfort do you need, like a bathroom with a blow-dryer, mini-bar, TV with satellite, telephone and wifi access. The rooms are alls acclimatised. The approximately rate of the double room is 90 euro, the rate dependants of the date of reservation.
More important to know when you go to Corsica is a rich heritage and gastronomy, like a pork specialities or fish and seafood. All of this, you can taste in the numerous restaurants.

We are pleased to enclose herewith a leaflet about Corsica.
I hope this suggestion will be suit for you.

Merci d'avance pour vos corrections.



Réponse: Correction/ mail de carol11, postée le 30-04-2013 à 10:49:21 (S | E)
Anyone ? Please I need help for this text.




Réponse: Correction/ mail de sherry48, postée le 30-04-2013 à 13:18:36 (S | E)
Hell.
I only have a few minutes this morning, but take a look at these areas to begin.

I recommend _you go to Corsica for approximately one week. Hire a car for few days just for your own pleasure to discover different places other where are you stay. Your programme can be like this; on arrival on Ajaccio airport, you will be transferred to your hotel in taxi, it costs 36 euro_. We worked always with one hotel, who I think suit you with a 3 stars on the centre of Ajaccio. This is a good emplacement for discover the town and go to the beach. The situation of this hotel is perfectly, because it is at 7 km from __ airport.
If you don’t want to take the taxi, it is possible to take a shuttle bus that cost_ more than __ taxi, costs 16 euro_ per person.

About vacancies, this hotel have got double rooms with all __comfort do you need, like a bathroom with a blow-dryer, mini-bar, TV with satellite, telephone and wifi access. The rooms are alls acclimatised (dictionary). The approximately rate of the double room is 90 euro_, the rate dependants of the date of reservation.
More important to know when you go to Corsica is a rich heritage and gastronomy, like a pork specialities, or fish, and seafood. All of this, you can taste in the numerous restaurants.

We are pleased to enclose herewith a leaflet about Corsica.
I hope this suggestion will be suit for you. ....will suit you or will be suitable

That's all for now. Sherry



Réponse: Correction/ mail de carol11, postée le 30-04-2013 à 18:29:25 (S | E)

Thank you so much for your correction sherry !

I recommend to you go to Corsica for approximately one week. Hire a car for few days just for your own pleasure to discover different places where you have never been.
Your programme can be like this; on arrival in Ajaccio airport, you will be transferred to your hotel in a taxi, it costs 36 euro’s. We working always with one hotel, which I think suit you with a 3 stars at the centre of Ajaccio.
This is a good emplacement to discover the town and go to the beach. The situation of this hotel is perfect, because it is 7 km from the airport.
If you don’t want to take the taxi, it is possible to take a shuttle bus that cost’s more than the taxi, 16 euro’s per person.

About vacancies, this hotel has got double rooms with all comfort will do you need, like a bathroom with a blow-dryer, mini-bar, TV with satellite, telephone and wifi access. The rooms are all air-conditioned.
The approximate rate of the double room is 90 euro’s; the rate depends on the reservation date.
More important to know when you go to Corsica is a rich heritage and gastronomy, like pork specialities, fish, and seafood. All of this, you can taste in the numerous restaurants.

We are pleased to enclose herewith a leaflet about Corsica.
I hope this suggestion will suit you.





Réponse: Correction/ mail de sherry48, postée le 30-04-2013 à 22:33:51 (S | E)
Hello.
The following corrections are not good.

it costs 36 euro’s. Not possessive.

We working always with one hotel, Always indicates a repeated action, so present tense is OK, but the placement of the adverb is not correct.

...which I think ________ suit you with a 3 stars at the centre of Ajaccio. Why not a three star hotel?

...that cost’s more than the taxi, 16 euro’s per person. See above. By cost's, do you mean cost is, or just the present tense for the verb?

...double rooms with all __________ comfort will do you need,

The approximate rate of the double room is 90 euro’s; See above.

Sherry



Réponse: Correction/ mail de carol11, postée le 02-05-2013 à 08:32:32 (S | E)
Good morning,
thank you for all your help.


that costs 36 euros.
We always working with one hotel
...which I think can suit you with a three star hotel at the centre of Ajaccio.
...that costs more than the taxi, 16 euros per person.
...double rooms with all the comfort which you will need
The approximate rate of the double room is 90 euros.



Réponse: Correction/ mail de bluestar, postée le 02-05-2013 à 09:25:42 (S | E)
Hello..

We working always work with one hotel, a three-star hotel in the centre of Ajaccio which I think will suit you. with a 3 stars at the centre of Ajaccio.

This is a good emplacement place to discover the town and go to the beach.

...satellite TV....



Réponse: Correction/ mail de carol11, postée le 02-05-2013 à 10:27:52 (S | E)

bluestar !



Réponse: Correction/ mail de carol11, postée le 03-05-2013 à 09:20:50 (S | E)
Bonjour,

J'aimerais remercier tous ceux qui m'ont aidé à corriger le mail pour m'améliorer dans cette langue que j'apprécie beaucoup.

PS: Il me reste une difficulté dans ce mail,
si quelqu'un veut bien m'expliquer la règle pour dire le prix en anglais car je ne comprends pas quand est-ce qu'il faut écrire xx euros ou bien xx euro's
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-05-2013 21:50



Réponse: Correction/ mail de bluestar, postée le 03-05-2013 à 12:13:58 (S | E)
Bonjour...

Le pluriel "s" n'exige pas une apostrophe, donc "300 Euros" et pas "300 Euro's".
La troisième personne temps présent du singulier du verbe s'écrit sans apostrophe: he says, she asks etc
Le "s" possessive exige une apostrophe, donc "the Euro's problems", "the Euro's stability"; c'est-à-dire "the problems of the Euro" "the stability of the Euro".




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