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Essai/correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Essai/correction
Message de sbgs posté le 27-06-2013 à 19:48:06 (S | E | F)
Tout d'abord bonsoir!

Le texte suivant sera très très long, merci à ceux/celles qui le liront ou auront le courage de le lire
Ce serait super sympa si quelqu'un en plus de le lire, le corrige.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Donc le thème était le suivant "Letter to a friend about a language exchange" ( la prof m'a donné une liste de sujets à aborder comme la nourriture, 2 faits qui se sont passés dans le passé, ce que je ferai la semaine prochaine )

Dear James,

It's been a while! How are you?
I'm writing you this letter because i'm in a host family in England and I have a lot of things to say to you!
The host family where I live is big. The parents, Mike and Suzy ( je sais pas d'où sort le Suzy mais bon ), have six children! They have three daughters, and they have three sons. And yet, Suzy is pregnant again and she's only 30 years old! She loves children, which is why she's a teacher. Mike, who's 31, has been recently fired. I think it's because either his boss didn't like him or he wasn't working as much as he told me yesterday.
So, they're eight in the house. Therefore, their house is quite big. Every child has their own bedroom, they have a big garden and a swimming pool! It's too bad for me because it's the winter so I can't really enjoy it..
Despite all the stereotypes, the family where I live eats very lightly. They don't eat much for breakfast, either it's just a piece of bread of nothing. Mike said to me that he had gone to America last summer and that he had seen what eats Americans for breakfast and it's really fatty. Although, the family does eat something at 4pm. It's called "Tea time." As you certainly figured out, it's a cup of tea with often a piece of apple crumble and Suzy cooks so well, I'm sure that whoever tastes it, he will like it.
In England, the school system is a little bit different from Belgium. There, your day is over at 1pm which is cool because you have a lot of free time. Nevertheless, you must go to school on Saturday which is.. less cool.
The children in the family are very studious, they study everyday, they don't often go to parties then.
Three weeks ago, I did some sightseeing with the family, we went to London to see Big Ben and on the way to go there, I realized that I had forgotten my camera. It was great though, I took some pictures with my mobile phone but the quality is much better on a camera.
Yesterday, I went to the supermarket with Mike. While he was choosing what we were going to eat for dinner, I saw a young men who was shoplifting! It was just a video game but I told the boss that someone was shoplifting, he came right away and he caught the young man red-handed. Then he called the police and they gave him an amount to pay within 2 weeks.
Next week, I'm going to an amusement park with girl from school. Don't worry, I'm not interested in finding the soul mate because I have already a girlfriend in Belgium.
I hope we'll see each other soon!
Don't forget to tell me what you've been doing these past few months, I want to know!
Bye.

Je ne sais pas si vous en avez besoin mais je le dis toujours, je suis en 4ème. ( C'est la seconde en France je pense, je suis Belge )
Encore désolé pour la longueur du texte

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 27-06-2013 21:24


Réponse: Essai/correction de bluestar, postée le 27-06-2013 à 23:30:07 (S | E)
Bonsoir..bon travail - quelques erreurs sont indiquées en bleu

It's been a while! How are you?
I'm writing you this letter because i'm in a host family in England and I have a lot of things to say to you!
The host family where I live is big. The parents, Mike and Suzy ( je sais pas d'où sort le Suzy mais bon ), have six children! They have three daughters, and they have three sons. And yet, Suzy is pregnant again and she's only 30 years old! She loves children, which is why she's a teacher. Mike, who's 31, has been recently fired. I think it's because either his boss didn't like him or he wasn't working as much as he told me yesterday.
So, they're eight in the house. Therefore, their house is quite big. Every child has their own bedroom, they have a big garden and a swimming pool! It's too bad for me because it's the winter so I can't really enjoy it..
Despite all the stereotypes, the family where I live eats very lightly. They don't eat much for breakfast, either it's just a piece of bread of nothing. Mike said to me that he had gone to America last summer and that he had seen what eats Americans (accorde et ordre?)for breakfast and it's really fatty. Although, the family does eat something at 4pm. It's called "Tea time." As you certainly figured out, it's a cup of tea with often a piece of apple crumble and Suzy cooks so well, I'm sure that whoever tastes it, he will like it.
In England, the school system is a little bit different from Belgium. There, your day is over at 1pm which is cool because you have a lot of free time. Nevertheless, you must go to school on Saturday which is.. less cool.
The children in the family are very studious, they study everyday, they don't often go to parties then.
Three weeks ago, I did some sightseeing with the family, we went to London to see Big Ben and on the way to go there, I realized that I had forgotten my camera. It was great though, I took some pictures with my mobile phone but the quality is much better on a camera.
Yesterday, I went to the supermarket with Mike. While he was choosing what we were going to eat for dinner, I saw a young men who was shoplifting! It was just a video game but (conjonction manquant) I told the boss that someone was shoplifting, he came right away and he caught the young man red-handed. Then he called the police and they gave him an amount to pay within 2 weeks. (ou.."he was fined")
Next week, I'm going to an amusement park with girl from school. Don't worry, I'm not interested in finding the soul mate(un mot) because I have already (ordre?) a girlfriend in Belgium.
I hope we'll see each other soon!
Don't forget to tell me what you've been doing these past few months, I want to know!
Bye.



Réponse: Essai/correction de sbgs, postée le 28-06-2013 à 12:54:23 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci de ta réponse si rapide

Donc si je comprends bien,
a man, two men ? Est-ce la même chose pour woman, women ? Je n'ai jamais su faire la différence..

"What eat(sans le s donc) Americans" ça ne se dit pas ? J'imagine que je fais trop de traduction littérale car j'aurais dit en Français "Ce que mange les Américains" ( d'où le s à eat )

Par rapport au "their" je ne savais pas comment traduire le sa en fait ( his/her ) vu que je ne dis pas le "genre" des enfants, j'me suis dit que peut-être, "their" passerait inaperçu

Je ne comprends pas la conjonction qui manque, j'ai beau relire la phrase plusieurs fois, je la trouve normale pourtant.

Ah tiens, je ne connaissais pas l'expression " He/she was fined.." j'en prends note

Es-tu sûr(e) que "soul mate" est en un mot ? Je viens d'aller voir au dictionnaire et c'est écrit en 2 mots.

Désolé pour le "I have already", j'imagine que je pensais à la formation du present perfect simple et j'me suis pas relu par la suite.

Encore



Réponse: Essai/correction de bluestar, postée le 28-06-2013 à 16:38:44 (S | E)
Bonjour...
-- Every child has their own bedroom..l'antécédent ("every child") est singulier, donc l'adjectif possessif doit être singulier aussi.."Every child has his own bedroom"..
-- "what eats Americans" - l'ordre des mots est mauvais (trop francais) et il n'y a pas d'accord entre le nom ("Americans" - au pluriel) et le verbe ("eats" au singulier)..Donc "what Americans eat"..
-- I saw a young men who was shoplifting. Après "a", vous devez le singulier "man" et pas le pluriel "men"..
-- I told the boss that someone was shoplifting, he came right away and he caught the young man red-handed...Si vous n'utilisez pas un conjonction ici alors vous avez deux phrases sans intervalle entre eux, donc il devrait y avoir un arrêt complet après "shoplifting" et une nouvelle phrase "He came right away etc.,Toutefois, il serait plus naturel d'utiliser une conjonction; "When I told the boss etc.,"
-- "Soulmate"....Je vois qu'il apparaît parfois comme deux mots ainsi qu'une..Desole!!
-- I have already - "j'ai deja" en francais mais en anglais "I already have.."etc.



Réponse: Essai/correction de sherry48, postée le 30-06-2013 à 00:33:58 (S | E)
Hello. Bluestar gave you a great correction. I only noticed two articles.

Next week, I'm going to an amusement park with__ girl from school. Don't worry, I'm not interested in finding the soul mate...
Sherry



Réponse: Essai/correction de sbgs, postée le 30-06-2013 à 23:01:09 (S | E)
Merci Bluestar pour le temps que tu m'as accordé, c'est super sympa!!

Hello sherry48, so there's no article before "soul mate" ? Or it's an "a" instead of a "the" ?
Thank you for correcting me, it's really helpful!



Réponse: Essai/correction de lucile83, postée le 30-06-2013 à 23:11:01 (S | E)
Hello

I'm not interested in finding my soul mate...
He ..........................his .......
Chacun trouve son âme soeur, non?



Réponse: Essai/correction de sherry48, postée le 01-07-2013 à 00:54:19 (S | E)
Hello.
Yes, there are two possibilities for soulmate...my soulmate or a soulmate.
Sherry




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