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Oral /Idea of progress

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral /Idea of progress
Message de tsukichan posté le 20-05-2014 à 18:30:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en terminale L et je passe l'oral d'anglais dans quelques semaines, j'aimerais donc savoir ce que vous pensez de mon oral, s'il est clair et précis et surtout si vous pouvez me le corriger s'il vous plait?
The idea of progress

Introduction :
I would like to talk about the notion : “idea of progress”.
The idea of progress means an evolution in the world through technologies, medicinal practices and social life. The notion of progress is a modern idea which opposes the stability that prevailed in the past. Everyone aspires to progress, especially countries. A modern country is a sign of power and can always improve on the contrary to a country that remain in the past. The progress is the sign of openness to the world. However, many countries can't escape to traditions. India is the good example because it's a country that is caught between tradition and modernity.

Je n'arrive pas à trouver de problématique -_-'

I- India, a modern country
II- However, the traditions prevent evolve

As many southern countries, India is experiencing a huge population growth. In 2025, India will become the first most densely populated country.

We can see that with an extract from The Painter of Signs written by R.K Narayan and published in 1976. It is the story about Raman who is falling love with Daisy who decides to make a family planning and so she will visit villages to regulate births. So in the extract, she meets a teacher and she asks him many question on the increase of the village population while Raman observes the scene and listens them.
At the beginning, the young woman explains that the population has increased by 20 per cent whereas the food production has only increased by 3 per cent. In addition, the number of houses has remained exactly the same. She explains to the teacher who has now four children that the total population of India every year increases by 14 million people, which correspond to the population of Peru. Through her, the author insists on the problem of overpopulation in India which provokes famine and poverty. The only solution is to convince people that they would live in better conditions if they had fewer children. Consequently, the solution is birth control but it is difficult to convince people and we can see that in the text with the teacher who believes there is not need to reduce the number of birth because, for him, India is a large country with a lot of undeveloped areas. Through this teacher, and Raman too because he thinks if the villagers like to live crowed it's their business, we discover that people don't want to forget their habits and traditions.

And because there are too much birth, Indians families prefer having a son than a daughter. First, a boy keeps the family name whereas a girl musts belong to the family of her husband. In addition, a boy works in the field whereas a girl is supposed to stay at home and do the chores. Finally, family not to pay a dowry if it's a boy. However, this can create a problem for the people later because parents want to know the sex of the child with his birth and abortions if it's a girl. Then, it is contrary on porgress because there isn't equality between man and woman.

We can see this injustice with an extract from Secret daughter written by Shilpi Somaya Gowda and published in 2010.
This extract tells the birth of a baby who isn't wanted since her mother cries, seeing that it's a girl and her father hope it is a boy because he calls the baby “my little prince”. When he knows that the baby is a girl, he is extremely disappointed and start shouting at Kavita, his wife. He accuses her of being unable to give birth to boys, of being responsible for the birth of a girl. Then, he explains her that they need a boy to help them in the field, that they can have a girl because they would not be able to pay for the dowry. But Kavita refuses to let him take her baby. She defies his auority and refuses to obey him. She is determined to keep her baby, even if it means putting her life in danger. Finally, she cans to keep her baby for a night.
Through her, the author wants to show that Indian women can rebel and stand for their rights. The author denounces a society in which women are scapegoats. She denounces the problem of the dowry which explains why families want a boy.

III- India isn't the only country which has many traditions, Japan is the same

Japan is a country where technology is very advanced and yet Japan keeps certain tradition.
I chose a photo which shows three girls wearing yukata to a shop window. These girls are dressed in traditional yukata on the opportunity of the incredible fireworks summer, the Hanabi Taikai. Its name literally means “fire flowers”.
On the first January, the Japanese go to a Shinto shrine or a Buddhist temple for the hatsumode (first visit to the temple). They come to pray and proclaim their New Year greeting they hope to fulfill. Some people for a kimono for this event.
Then, it's also possible to have traditional marriages called Shinzen Shiki meaning Shinto Wedding. It takes place in a Shinto Shrine (a temple). The couple must have been legally married before the ceremony and shows official papers in it. The bride's makeup and wearing a white kimono, symbolizing virginity and obedience to her husband. The ceremony is led by a Shito priest (kannushi), assisted by miko, which will purify the bride and groom.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-05-2014 19:07


Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de here4u, postée le 20-05-2014 à 20:32:54 (S | E)
hello !
OK ! I'm willing to help correct your errors, but I won't do the whole prep right away, as it's so long ...
green = suggestion
blue= not very good or really wrong
XX = missing elements .

Introduction :
I would like to talk about the notion : The “idea of progress”.
The idea of progress means an evolution in the world through technologies, medicinal practices and social life. The notion of progress is a modern idea which opposes the stability that prevailed in the past and what ???. Everyone aspires(boffff) to progress, especially countries(clumsy ...). (Having ?)A modern country is a sign of power and can always improve, on the contrary to a country that remainX in the past. The progress is the sign of openness to the world. However, many countries can't escape to(you escape from prison to your friend's house ...) traditions. India is the (a ?) good example because it's a country that is caught between tradition and modernity.

Je n'arrive pas à trouver de problématique -_-' Do make an effort !

I- India, a modern country
II- However, (the) traditions prevent evolveevolution.

As many southern countries, India is experiencing a huge population growth. In 2025, India will become the first most densely populated country (in the world).

We can see that with in an extract from The Painter of Signs written by R.K Narayan and published in 1976. It is the story about Raman(very clumsy) who is falling in love with Daisy who decides to make a family planning XX ? and so she will visit villages to regulate births. So in the extract, she meets a teacher and she asks him many questionX on the increase of the village population while Raman observes the scene and listens XX them.
At the beginning, the young woman explains that the population has increased by 20 percent whereas the food production has only increased by 3 percent. In addition, the number of houses has remained exactly the same. She explains to the teacher who has now four children that the total population of India (every year)ordre des mots =après 14000people) increases by 14 million people, which correspondX to the population of Peru. Through her, the author insists on the problem of overpopulation in India which provokes famine and poverty. The only solution is to convince people that they would live in better conditions if they had fewer children. Consequently, the solution is birth control but it is difficult to convince people and we can see V ??? that in the text with the teacher who believes there is not need to reduce the number of birthS because, for him, India is a large country with a lot of undeveloped areas. Through this teacher, and Raman too because he thinks that if the villagers like to live crowed?? crowded? huddled ? it's their problem( business,) we discover that people don't want to forget their habits and traditions.

Bon courage ...



Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de here4u, postée le 20-05-2014 à 20:49:40 (S | E)
Hopefully, I won't be interrupted again ! (...one more paragraph ! )

And because there are too much birthS, Indians families prefer having a son than a daughter. First, a boy keeps the family name whereas a girl musts ARGHHHH !!! belong to the family of her husband. In addition, a boy works in the fieldS whereas a girl is supposed to stay at home and do the chores. Finally, XX family not(ne doit pas = modal = absence d'obligation ...) to pay a dowry if it's a boy. However, this can create a problem for the people later because parents want to know the sex of the child with his birth and XXXXX abortions if it's a girl. Then, it is contrary on porgress because there isn't equality between man and woman.(not very clear + pluriels nécessaires !



Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de gerondif, postée le 20-05-2014 à 22:09:30 (S | E)
Hello,here4u
People used to get crucified when they used hopefully (the dog was looking hopefully at the bone in his master's plate) instead of "let's hope that I won't be interrupted again" but I am told that nowadays, hopefully is accepted with that meaning.

As Danny Glover says in "Leathal Weapon": "I'm getting too old for this job!!"

Let me join in:

We can see this injustice with an extract from Secret daughter written by Shilpi Somaya Gowda and published in 2010.
This extract tells the birth of a baby who isn't wanted since her mother cries, seeing that it's a girl and her father hope(s du présent simple!!) it is a boy because he calls the baby “my little prince”. When he knows that the baby is a girl, he is extremely disappointed and start(idem) shouting at Kavita, his wife. He accuses her of being unable to give birth to boys, of being responsible for the birth of a girl. Then, he explains to her that they need a boy to help them in the field, that they can(forme négative logiquement) have a girl because they would not be able to pay for the dowry. But Kavita refuses to let him take her baby. She defies his autority and refuses to obey him. She is determined to keep her baby, even if it means putting her life in danger. Finally, she cans to keep (horreur!!)her baby for a night.
Through her, the author wants to show that Indian women can rebel and stand for their rights. The author denounces a society in which women are scapegoats. She denounces the problem of the dowry which explains why families want a boy.

III- India isn't the only country which has many traditions, Japan is the same (on dirait plutôt: it is the same in Japan!)

Japan is a country where technology is very advanced and yet Japan keeps certain tradition(pluriel).
I chose a photo which shows three girls wearing yukata to(au sens de jusqu'à???) a shop window. These girls are dressed in traditional yukata on the opportunity of (à l'occasion de ? ça ne va pas)the incredible fireworks summer, the Hanabi Taikai. Its name literally means “fire flowers”.
On the first of January, the Japanese go to a Shinto shrine or a Buddhist temple for the hatsumode (first visit to the temple). They come to pray and proclaim their New Year greetings they hope to fulfill(can you "fulfill" a greeting???). Some people for(means pour, not porter!!) a kimono for this event.
Then, it's also possible to have traditional marriages called Shinzen Shiki meaning Shinto Wedding. It(mais marriages était au pluriel) takes place in a Shinto Shrine (a temple). The couple must have been (ont dû être marriés est trop composé comme temps)legally married before the ceremony and must show official papers in it (dans quoi?). The bride's makeup (est maquillée? incorrect)and wearing a white kimono, symbolizing virginity and obedience to her husband. The ceremony is led by a Shito priest (kannushi), assisted by miko, which will purify the bride and groom.
Je peine à voir ce que vous voulez démontrer dans ce paragraphe)





Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de here4u, postée le 21-05-2014 à 00:30:55 (S | E)
Ok ! Do crucify me ! . I've used it millions of times and it's really the first time I've been told off for it !

Lien internet
(first entry in these dictionaries ...)
Lien internet

and especially interesting : Lien internet
(Hopefully, (errr ...I only hope) I won't be 'taxed 90%' for using it ...!

Thanks for pointing that out gerondif !... very interesting ... and thanks for joining in and helping in this very long correction !

@ tsukichan : Pour avoir écouté des centaines ... de candidats (L Spécialité?), je crois pouvoir dire :
- qu'il ne faut pas vouloir rédiger à fond et apprendre un tel exposé (en oubliant les -s du présent )
- que je suis d'accord sur le fait que le paragraphe sur le Japon s'intégre mal dans le sujet développé au-dessus.
- que vous n'avez montré (mais c'est peut-être fait exprès ? - stratégie pour attirer les questions qui ne manqueront pas d'arriver ... ) que le coté 'négatif du sujet' (qui s'appelle tout de même :'the idea of progress' alors que vous traitez 'Traditions are persisting' - Old habits die hard !)(C'est peut-être une problématique possible ...le progrès serait impossible ? A cause de quoi ? ou de qui ?) It's up to you to fight for this idea ...
Si j'entendais cette prep, je poserais des questions en ce sens ...
Bon courage !



Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de gerondif, postée le 21-05-2014 à 00:42:47 (S | E)
Hello,HereforU
it was just for the fun of it! I know this distinction has long since disappeared!



Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de here4u, postée le 21-05-2014 à 01:29:31 (S | E)
Hello again !

Too bad ! I thought I had found a bigger and older dinosaurus than I am/me ...
Time for bed !



Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de lucile83, postée le 21-05-2014 à 08:29:21 (S | E)
Hello,

I use it in the correction of my exercise about Kevin at school
See you later hopefully, to share another day with Little Kevin
Lien internet




Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de here4u, postée le 21-05-2014 à 11:20:17 (S | E)
Hello, Lucile !
Ouf ! on sera 2 à être crucifiées par gerondif ...
L'usage qui a posé problème dans les années 80 est 'Hopefully' en début de phrase ... So, you should be safe ...
Bonne journée (pas sous la pluie et dans la grisaille pour vous, je suppose ! Grrrrr ...)



Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de lucile83, postée le 21-05-2014 à 11:37:31 (S | E)
Hi there

Lien internet

Luckily enough we can use it as we like now.



Réponse: Oral /Idea of progress de tsukichan, postée le 25-05-2014 à 15:19:27 (S | E)
Merci de m'avoir corrigé, je prends note de tous vos conseils ^^
Si je parle que des traditions, c'est qu'en cours, ma prof d'anglais nous a parlé surtout des traditions et a dit que 2-3 phrases pour présenter la modernité de l'Inde peuvent suffir et je ne les ai pas poster parce que je n'avais plus de place. ^^"
Notre notion s'appelle idée de progrès mais en cours nous n'avons vu que les traditions et c'est très dur de parler de tout ce qu'on a fait en seulement 10 minutes alors qu'il faut tout analyser alors j'ai décidé de faire le choix de montrer que l'Inde même si c'est un pays qui se développe et qui est très moderne aujourd'hui, est aussi encore un pays avec des traditions très fortes qui peuvent ralentir son développement.
Ensuite, mon document personnel me sert à montrer qu'il peut y avoir des traditions dans un pays très moderne comme le japon et ma prof d'anglais a trouvé que c'était une bonne chose : elle nous fait passer à l'oral pour nos documents personnels.




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