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Idea of progress/Bac

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Idea of progress/Bac
Message de requou posté le 24-04-2015 à 20:24:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous.
Je suis en train de préparer mon oral d'anglais et je viens de faire ma première notion. Si quelqu'un pouvait la corriger ca m'aiderait beaucoup.
Merci d'avance

Idea of progress
I am going to talk about the idea of progress. The progress can be defined as a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. However the progress can't be all the time considered like a good thing, particularly when it comes to technological progress. So finally, “Should we fear technological progress?”. First and foremost the good point of technological progress and the way how he improved our life will be detailed. After that we will see the problems that technology can create.

In the one hand new technologies have really improved and change our life. With the new ways of communication (like e-mail, smart-phone...) people can now telecommute, which mean work from home. The telecommuter have a really different life, they can work where and when they like, they don't have to lose time in traffic jam and so we can say that technology have changed their life. But technology don't only change life, she can also save life, in fact medicine has become more efficient and permit to save a people. For example in an extract of the USA Today, we discover the story of Molly, a young girl saved by progress. In fact molly need a bone marrow transplant to live but it's really difficult to find a donor. Molly was saved by her little brother Adam, who have been selected as an embryo in a fertility lab because he have the same immune system that his sister. To sum up technology can improve, change and even save our life. But we can ask ourselves if technology can be a bad thing too.

In fact, in the other hand progress can be very dangerous. In fact in the text Do we rely too heavily on technology?, the author notice the fact that, with the improvement of calculator a lot of people don't know how to do easy calculation. The objective of the author it's to show that, we became really dependent of new technology. If tomorrow, surgeon was replaced by robot, in forty years who will still know how to do surgical operation? But the problem of technology isn't only a dependence, we must ask ourselves: can technology go too far? For example in the dystopia Brave new world write by Aldous Huxley we discover how terrible progress can be. In this document a men learn at student, how babies are “fabricated”. All humans are now clones and have been private of any individuality, they was considered more like slaves than humans. The principle of mass production, was at last applied to create humans.

In conclusion I'd say that, in my opinion, progress can be an incredible think, human need progress to evolve and we must continue to progress. However, we must put limit at the progress and make sure to never be too dependent of technology. We must continue our evolution but don't forget what we have learn before and take care to no exceed some limits. We shouldn't be fear of technological progress but we must take care of the way of how technology evolve.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-04-2015 21:23


Réponse: Idea of progress/Bac de requou, postée le 26-04-2015 à 12:24:38 (S | E)
S'il vous plait...



Réponse: Idea of progress/Bac de gerondif, postée le 26-04-2015 à 13:14:23 (S | E)
Bonjour,
vous avez des problèmes de singulier pluriel dans vos conjugaisons (they was, Molly need,he have...)ou vos noms (a men). Parfois , le français traduit mot-à-mot ne donne pas grand chose en anglais.
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert.
Idea of progress
I am going to talk about the idea of progress. The progress can be defined as a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. However the progress can't be all the time considered like a good thing, particularly when it comes to technological progress. So finally, “Should we fear technological progress?”. First and foremost the good point (pluriel + mot mal choisi) of technological progress and the way how he improved our life(pluriel) will be detailed. After that we will see the problems that technology can create.

In the one hand new technologies have really improved and change our life. With the new ways of communication (like e-mail, smart-phone...) people can now telecommute, which mean work from home. The telecommuter have (metez au pluriel, puisque vous continuez avec "they")a really different life, they can work where and when they like, they don't have to lose time in traffic-jams and so we can say that technology have(singulier) changed their life. But technology don't(doESn't) only change life, she(une femme??) can also save life, in fact medicine has become more efficient and permit(mauvais choix de verbe +S en 3ème personne) to save a people.(le mot people des gens , n'est pas singulier!!) For example in an extract of the USA Today, we discover the story of Molly, a young girl saved by progress. In fact Molly need (le S) a bone marrow transplant to live but it's really difficult to find a donor. Molly was(vous commencez le récit au présent et vous voilà au prétérit!) saved by her little brother Adam, who have(I have, you have, he HAS) been selected as an embryo in a fertility lab because he have the same immune system thatas his sister. To sum up technology can improve, change and even save our life. But we can ask ourselves if technology can be a bad thing too.

In fact, in the other hand progress can be very dangerous. In fact in the text Do we rely too heavily on technology?, the author notice(le S) the fact that, with the improvement(plutôt l'apparition de) of calculator (pluriel) a lot of people don't know how to do easy calculation. The objective of the author it's to show that, we became really dependent of(on) new technology(pluriel). If tomorrow, surgeon(pluriel) was(pluriel) replaced by robot(pluriel), in forty years who will(le futur ne va pas après un passé (were replaced) still know how to do surgical operation (pluriel)? But the problem of technology isn't only a dependence, we must ask ourselves: can technology go too far? For example in the dystopia Brave new world write(participe passé) by Aldous Huxley we discover how terrible progress can be. In this document a men(singulier) learn at(mauvais verbe, c'est enseigner, pas apprendre du point de vue de l'élève, mauvaise préposition) student, how babies are “fabricated”. All humans are now clones and have been private(signifie privé, contraire de public) of any individuality, they was (pluriel) considered more like slaves than humans. The principle of mass production, was at last (pourquoi "enfin, vous étiez pressé de voir arriver ce progrès?) applied to create humans.

In conclusion I'd say that, in my opinion, progress can be an incredible think, human need(human est un adjectif) progress to evolve and we must continue to progress. However, we must put limit at the progress and make sure never to be too dependent of technology. We must continue our evolution but don't forget what we have learn (participe passé) before and take care to no exceed some limits. We shouldn't be fear of technological progress but we must take care of the way of how technology evolve (le s du présent simple).




Réponse: Idea of progress/Bac de requou, postée le 26-04-2015 à 21:38:23 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour ton aide.
Voilà j'espère que c'est mieux.

I am going to talk about the notion “idea of progress”. Progress can be defined as a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. However progress can't be all the time considered as a good thing, particularly when it comes to technological progress. So finally, “Should we fear technological progress?”. First and foremost the good side of technological progress and the way how it improved our lives will be detailed. After that we will see the problems that technology can create.

On the one hand new technologies have really improved and change our lives. With the new ways of communication (like e-mail, smart-phone...) people can now telecommute, which mean work from home. Telecommuters have a really different life, they can work where and when they like, they don't have to lose time in traffic-jams and so we can say that technology has changed their lives. But technology doesn't only change life, it can also save lives, in fact medicine has become more efficient and enables to save a lot of people. For example in an extract of the USA Today, we discover the story of Molly, a young girl saved by progress. In fact Molly needs a bone marrow transplant to live but it's really difficult to find a donor. Molly is saved by her little brother Adam, who has been selected as an embryo in a fertility lab because he have the same immune system that his sister. To sum up technology can improve, change and even save our lives. But we can ask ourselves if technology can be a bad thing too.

In fact, on the other hand progress can be very dangerous. For example, in the text Do we rely too heavily on technology?, the author notices that, with the appear of calculators a lot of people don't know how to do easy calculation. The objective of the author is to show that, we became really dependent on new technology. If tomorrow, surgeons were replaced by robots. In forty years, who still know how to do surgical operations? But the problem of technology isn't only a dependence, we must ask ourselves: can technology go too far? For example in the dystopia Brave new world wrote by Aldous Huxley we discover how terrible progress can be. In this document a man teaches to students, how babies are “fabricated”. All humans are now clones and have been deprived of any individuality, they were considered more like slaves than humans. The principle of mass production, was applied to create humans.

In conclusion I'd say that, in my opinion, progress can be an incredible thinks, human needs progress to evolve and we must continue to progress. However, we must put limit to the progress and make sure never to be too dependent on technology. We must continue our evolution but don't forget what we have learnt before and not cross some limits. We shouldn't fear technological progress but we must take care of the way how technology evolves.




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