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Oral/Myths and Heroes

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral/Myths and Heroes
Message de teosansh posté le 02-05-2015 à 17:00:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je suis actuellement en train de préparer mes fiches pour les oraux et j'aurais besoin, s'il vous plait, qu'on corrige mon texte sur la notion de mythes et héros.
Merci d'avance !

I'm going to talk about «myths and heroes». First, I want to give a definition of a hero : a hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her achievements, a superhero or mabye a role model or an icon.
A myth is a traditional or legendary story, usually concerning hero or event.
For illustrates this notion, i have choose too present 2docuements : Winston Churchill and Gran Torino.

A hero can be a patriotic or a national hero such as a sportsman, a politican, a human rights defender. Churchill is a historic hero. He is perfect for illustrates Myth and hero.
At first, we can considerate Winston Churchill like an hero because he has play an important role on the second world war as the british prime minister. Before being Prime minister, it was a lord of the Admiralty. During the second world war, Churchill used of his military stategy against Hitler’s army earning it the status of hero.
Today Churchill is always considerate as an hero, everybody know his nale and his action during the war in England but also in France because he helped Charles De-Gaulle for the radio appeal of june 18 in 1940.
The Myth of Churchill is build around his nickname like « The man with a cigare » or « the man with the v for
victory » and the « old lion ». He is an war hero but also a peace hero because he has participate to the
Yalta’s conference. The strengh of Churchill came to his status but also his personnality, indeed Churchill is
admirated for his painter and writer talent’s . He receveid in 1953 the littérature Nobel Prize.
The myths has also hide things, for example his alcoholism or in a document of 1937, he said anti-semitic
words. Furthermore, during the second world warn he commited controversial acts . He would so have
covered Stalin, person in charge of the massacre of Katyn (the murderer of thousand polish il 1940) to
protect their alliance.

After having present an figure could illustrates myth and hero, i presenting now Gran torino, and the symbol, the
myth around the car.
Walt Kowalski , a veteran of the Korean War , racist and irascible , has just lost his wife. One night he surprises Thao , one of his young neighbors , trying to steal his Ford Gran Torino 1972 as part of an examination set by the gang that wants to recruit him. This event will change the course of the young man and his family with Mr. Kowalski .

In Gran Torino, the car represent the mainstream, the amrican way of life. It is beautiful, prestigious and he goe’s
back to years when america was a great country, the big one, for many poeple having a nice little house, 2child
and 1dog and a Gran Torino was leaving the american dream. So, of course, it is not a coicidence if the name is
Gran Torino, it is also the symbol to Thao’s progress,
Infact, at the beginning, Thao speaks little English with a strong accent. He did’nt go to school and he don’t have
work. Thanks to Walt, he finds a job and and asserts itself as a man. When Walt died, he decided to bequeath his
Gran Torino, not at one off his children, but at his friend Thao.
This donation illustrates the myth around the car in this film

Si vous pouviez également me dire si certains passages ne sont pas clairs ou pas cohérents, cela m'aiderait beaucoup.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-05-2015 17:00


Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de gerondif, postée le 03-05-2015 à 00:04:16 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
il y a beaucoup d'erreurs dans ce texte, vocabulaire, conjugaison, fautes de frappe (vous n'avez pas relu avant de publier ? nale pour name, il 1940 pour in 1940... 2 docuements)

Le but du site est de vous montrer vos erreurs pour que vous les corrigiez, pas de transformer un océan d'erreurs en texte nickel automatiquement. J'espère que vous pourrez corriger vos erreurs.

erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
Par quoi commencer ?
I est toujours en majuscules.
pour + verbe se dit to: je viens pour travailler: I come to work.
j'ai choisi, present perfect, est composé de I + have + chosen, participe passé
consider est un verbe, considerate un adjectif.(attentionné)
Churchill is admirated ?? vous inventez vos verbes ou quoi ?
i presenting: cette conjugaison n'existe pas. I am presenting...

Walt ne peut pas léguer sa voiture quand il meurt, il le fait avant. De plus,il ne "meurt" pas, il se fait tuer par le gang pour les faire condamner et sauver son ami Thao, se sachant lui-même atteint d'un cancer incurable.

Bon, je vais quand même colorier vos erreurs, dommage que le rouge et le rose soient interdits sur le site, j'aurais eu besoin de différentes couleurs pour différencier la grammaire, l'orthographe....

I'm going to talk about «myths and heroes». First, I want to give a definition of a hero : a hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her achievements, a superhero or mabye a role model or an icon.
A myth is a traditional or legendary story, usually concerning heroes or events.
For illustrates this notion, i have choose too present 2docuements : Winston Churchill and Gran Torino.(qui ne sont pas des "documents")

A hero can be a patriotic or a national hero such as a sportsman, a politican, a human rights defender. Churchill is a historic hero. He is perfect for illustrates Myth and hero.
At first, we can considerate Winston Churchill like an hero because he has play an important role on the second world war as the british prime minister. Before being Prime minister, it was a lord of the Admiralty. During the second world war, Churchill used of his military stategy against Hitler’s army earning it the status of hero.
Today Churchill is always considerate as an hero, everybody knows his nale and his actions during the war in England but also in France because he helped Charles De-Gaulle for the radio appeal of june 18 in 1940.( en fait, ils ne pouvaient pas se voir...)
The Myth of Churchill is build around his nickname like « The man with a cigare » or « the man with the v for
victory » and the « old lion ». He is an war hero but also a peace hero because he has participate to the
Yalta’s conference. The strengh of Churchill came to his status but also his personnality, indeed Churchill is
admirated for his painter and writer talent’s(pas de pluriels en 's) . He receveid in 1953 the littérature Nobel Prize.
The myths has also hide things, for example his alcoholism or in a document of 1937, he said anti-semitic
words. Furthermore, during the second world warn he commited controversial acts . He would so have
covered Stalin, person in charge of the massacre of Katyn (the murderer of thousand polish il 1940) to
protect their alliance. (on sent dans l'ordre de vos mots le texte français traduit mot à mot: il aurait ainsi couvert....)

After having present an figure that could illustrates myth and hero, i presenting now Gran torino, and the symbol, the myth around the car.
Walt Kowalski , a veteran of the Korean War , racist and irascible , has just lost his wife. One night he surprises Thao , one of his young neighbors , trying to steal his Ford Gran Torino 1972 as part of an examination(mot trop scolaire) set by the gang that wants to recruit him. This event will change the course of the young man and his family with Mr. Kowalski .

In Gran Torino, the car represents the mainstream, the american way of life. It is beautiful, prestigious and he goe’s(he ne représente pas une voiture, pas de présents en 's)back to years when america was a great country, the big one, for when many poeple having had a nice little house, 2 children
and 1 dog and a Gran Torino, then they were leaving (confusion entre to leave, partir et to live, habiter) the american dream. So, of course, it is not a coicidence if the name is Gran Torino, it is also the symbol to Thao’s progress,
In fact, at the beginning, Thao speaks little English with a strong accent. He did’nt go to school and he don’t have
work. Thanks to Walt, he finds a job and and asserts itself as a man. When(plutôt un peu avant que) Walt died, he decided to bequeath his Gran Torino, not at one off his children, but at his friend Thao.
This donation illustrates the myth around the car in this film.

A vous de réparer maintenant !





Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de vardin01, postée le 03-05-2015 à 00:58:49 (S | E)
bonjour,
je vais vous aider à reconstruire cette présentation !

commencer la presentation par un proverbe ou quelque chose qui a une relation avec le sujet ! c'est le warm up (réchauffement)
good morning professor, (si c'est le matin...) thank you for this opportunity, good morning classmates.
today, I have a presentation about Mythology!!! ( heroes se sont trouvés dansles mythologies comme Achellis et Hector dans le Illiad qui est une epic ( long peom) ecrite par Homer)
vous dite que vous avez devisé votre presentation sur (normalement 3 ) I have devided my presentation on three steps, -1- definition of Mythology
2- why do we have it (mythology)
3- Heroes

so, Myths are collections of traditional stories that are called legends. They are not true but immaginary stories.
they have been created by some people in order to give an idea about their culture or to explain an aspect of a particular culture.

Why do we have them?
there are many reasons behind that question :
- to find an explanation to some phenomena
-to explain customs and history
-to entertain, because they are immaginary
-to instruct the community and to show some behaviors that should be adopted
-last but not least, to give an idea how people used to think etc

heroes ( dites ce que tu sais à propos d'eu)
I come up to the end of my presentation, so I recap (recapitulate) what I have said!
I have mentioned the definition of Mythology, why do we have them and ( in three or four words about heroes)


j'éspère je vous ai aidé! take a good care.



Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de teosansh, postée le 03-05-2015 à 22:14:02 (S | E)
Bonsoir Gerondif,
Tout d'abord merci pour votre aide !
J'ai corrigé mon texte en tenant compte de vos remarques et vous le re-transmet.

I'm going to talk about «myths and heroes». First, I want to give a definition of a hero : a hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her achievements, a superhero or mabye a role model or an icon.
A myth is a traditional or legendary story, usually concerning heroes or events.
To illustrates this notion, i have chosen to present Winston Churchill and Gran Torino.
A hero can be a patriotic or a national hero such as a sportsman, a politican, a human rights defender. Churchill is a historic hero. He is perfect to illustrates Myth and hero.
At first, we can consider Winston Churchill as an hero because he has played an important role in the second world war as the british prime minister. Before being Prime minister, he was a lord of the Admiralty. During the second world war, Churchill used to his military stategy against Hitler’s army earning he the status of hero.
Today Churchill is always consider as an hero, everybody knows his name and his actions during the war in England but also in France because he helped Charles De-Gaulle for the radio appeal of june 18 in 1940.( en fait, ils ne pouvaient pas se voir...)
The Myth of Churchill is build around his nickname like « The man with a cigar » or « the man with the v for
victory » and the « old lion ». He is an war hero but also a peace hero because he has participated to the
Yalta’s conference. The strengh of Churchill came to his status but also his personnality, indeed Churchill is admire for his painter and writer talents(pas de pluriels en 's) . He received in 1953 the litterature Nobel Prize.
The myths has also hide things, for example his alcoholism or in a document of 1937, he said anti-semitic
words. Furthermore, during the second world warn he commited controversial acts . He would so have
covered Stalin, person in charge of the massacre of Katyn (the murderer of thousand polish in 1940) to
protect their alliance. (on sent dans l'ordre de vos mots le texte français traduit mot à mot: il aurait ainsi couvert....)

After have presented a figure that could illustrate myth and hero, I present now Gran torino, and the symbol, the myth around the car.
Walt Kowalski , a veteran of the Korean War , racist and irascible , has just lost his wife. One night he surprises Thao , one of his young neighbors , trying to steal his Ford Gran Torino 1972 as part of an test set by the gang that wants to recruit him. This event will change the course of the young man and his family with Mr. Kowalski .

In Gran Torino, the car represents the mainstream, the american way of life. It is beautiful, prestigious and he goe’s(he ne représente pas une voiture, pas de présents en 's)back to years when America was a great country, the big one, for when many people had a nice little house, 2 children
and 1 dog and a Gran Torino, then they were living the american dream. So, of course, it is not a coicidence if the name is Gran Torino, it is also the symbol of Thao’s progress,
In fact, at the beginning, Thao speaks little English with a strong accent. He didn’t go to school and he dont have
work. Thanks to Walt, he finds a job and and asserts itself as a man. Before to sacrifice his life, Walt decided to bequeath his Gran Torino, not to one of his children, but to his friend Thao.
This donation illustrates the myth around the car in this film.

Concernant la partie où l'on sent le texte traduit mot à mot, je n'ai pas trouvé d'autre tournure de phrases. Je pense donc la laissée ainsi, si elle est correcte évidemment.
Merci encore pour votre aide.



Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de teosansh, postée le 03-05-2015 à 22:19:47 (S | E)
Bonsoir Vardin01,
Merci beaucoup pour vos conseils !

Je pense me servir de ceux-ci pour ma présentation du thème. Pour le développement en lui même, on ne me demande pas de trouver de problématiques ni de plans. Je dois simplement présenter des documents étudiés en classe. Je pense donc me servir de votre construction pour une autre épreuve où l'on me demandera cette fois d'énoncer une problématique et un plan.

Merci encore pour vos conseils.



Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de gerondif, postée le 04-05-2015 à 00:33:02 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
I'm going to talk about «myths and heroes». First, I want to give a definition of a hero : a hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her achievements, a superhero or mabye a role model or an icon.
A myth is a traditional or legendary story, usually concerning heroes or events.
To illustrates this notion, i have chosen to present Winston Churchill and Gran Torino.
A hero can be a patriotic or a national hero such as a sportsman, a politican, a human rights defender. Churchill is a historic hero. He is perfect to illustrates Myth and hero.
At first, we can consider Winston Churchill as an hero because he has played an important role in the second world war as the british prime minister. Before being Prime minister, he was a lord of the Admiralty. During the second world war, Churchill used to his military stategy against Hitler’s army earning he the status of hero.
Today Churchill is always consider as an hero, everybody knows his name and his actions during the war in England but also in France because he helped Charles De-Gaulle for the radio appeal of june 18th in 1940.
The Myth of Churchill is build around his nicknames like « The man with a cigar » or « the man with the v for
victory » and the « old lion ». He is an war hero but also a peace hero because he has participated to (to take part in)the
Yalta’s conference. The strengh of Churchill came to(vient de, pas vient à) his status but also his personnality, indeed Churchill is admire for his painter and writer's talents . He received in 1953 the litterature Nobel Prize for literature.
The myths has also hide things, for example his alcoholism or in a document of 1937, he said anti-semitic words. Furthermore, during the second world warn he commited controversial acts . He would so have covered Stalin, person in charge of the massacre of Katyn (the murderer of thousands of polish people in 1940) to protect their alliance.

After have presented a figure that could illustrate myth and hero, I present now Gran torino, and the symbol, the myth around the car.
Walt Kowalski , a veteran of the Korean War , racist and irascible , has just lost his wife. One night he surprises Thao , one of his young neighbors , trying to steal his Ford Gran Torino 1972 as part of an test set by the gang that wants to recruit him. This event will change the course of the young man and his family with Mr. Kowalski .

In Gran Torino, the car represents the mainstream, the american way of life. It is beautiful, prestigious and he goe’s(he ne représente pas une voiture, pas de présents en 's)back to the years when America was a great country, the big one, for when many people had a nice little house, 2 children and 1 dog and a Gran Torino, then they were living the american dream. So, of course, it is not a coincidence if the name is Gran Torino, it is also the symbol of Thao’s progress,
In fact, at the beginning, Thao speaks little English with a strong accent. He didn’t go to school and he dont have
work. Thanks to Walt, he finds a job and and asserts itself as a man. Before + ing to sacrifice his life, Walt decided to bequeath his Gran Torino, not to one of his children, but to his friend Thao.
This donation illustrates the myth around the car in this film.
Bon travail de correction, vous m'avez étonné!




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