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Bac/Spaces and forms of power

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Bac/Spaces and forms of power
Message de brandinho posté le 10-05-2015 à 19:04:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je passe mon oral du Bac dans 1 semaine et je voudrais savoir s'il était possible que vous m'aidiez à corriger mes possibles fautes d'orthographe/formulations de phrases s'il vous plait. Merci !!
SPACES AND FORMS OF POWER

I/ Introduction
I’m going to talk about the Spaces and Forms of Power
First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion: Power is a right or an authority given or delegated to a person or a body. This generally implies a division between the people who have and exercise power and those who don't have any or little of it.
But, to illustrate this notion, I’m going to present this notion with the theme of the university that we have studied in class
My problematic is : What selection for higher education
Firstly, we will explain why the cost of university is a real issue; secondly we will explain how students finance their studies. And in the last place we will list the different skills taken into account for college admissions and explain the goal of higher education.

II/ Plan
1. The cost of university
The cost of university is a real issue. Indeed, students from lower income families can’t pay their studies without having debts. Either they request a loan and they will have to pay back their loan or they are deterred from studying. The problem with the raise of tuition fees, it that only rich family or students who have grant can pay to studies and get a better degree

2. Coping with the cost
The consequences of the cost of university is that to avoid student loans, some students have to works since they were young to get money to her future tuition fees with different jobs. Also they can have helps from her parents to pays her tuition fees. Indeed, we have studied in class a document called A personal Story, and a girl student said “having no student loans was a mixture of work, luck, and help” because she worked hard to get money, she received a few scholarships and help from her parents.

3. Academic and non academic skills
They are different skill taken into account for college admissions in the United States: The Academic skills, the athletic skills and the artistic skills
However, they are some tings unfair, indeed some excellent universities accept athletes who have only average school results whereas good pupils won’t be able to enter but everybody gets a chance to access higher education. The USA tries to follow and old saying: a healthy mind in a healthy body.

4. The goal of higher education
The selection of higher education depends on the goal of the students in the higher education. They can want get a degree to have a good job, to earn lot of money or to have an easy life. Also, they can’t maybe want to discover new things, new people, to get to know more about the world.

III/ Conclusion
To conclude, university is a seat of power because it gives strength of students who can choose freely their future life, studies. But we see that the government keep the power to students, as show the rise of tuition fees.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-05-2015 21:17


Réponse: Bac/Spaces and forms of power de gerondif, postée le 11-05-2015 à 13:07:21 (S | E)
Bonjour,
les définitions sont en anglais correct, certains autres paragraphes plus personnels beaucoup moins.(usage des prépositions... vous avez inventé l'infinitif avec s )
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
SPACES AND FORMS OF POWER

I/ Introduction
I’m going to talk about the Spaces and Forms of Power
First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion: Power is a right or an authority given or delegated to a person or a body. This generally implies a division between the people who have and exercise power and those who don't have any or have little of it.
But, to illustrate this notion, I’m going to present this notion with the theme of the university that we have studied in class
My problematic is : What selection for higher education
Firstly, we will explain why the cost of university is a real issue; secondly we will explain how students finance their studies. And in the last place we will list the different skills taken into account for college admissions and explain the goal of higher education.

II/ Plan
1. The cost of university
The cost of university is a real issue. Indeed, students from lower income families can’t pay for their studies without having debts. Either they request a loan and they will have to pay back their loan or they are deterred from studying. The problem with the raise of tuition fees, it is that only rich family(pluriel) or students who have grants can pay to for studies and get a better degree

2. Coping with the cost
The consequences of the cost of university is that to avoid student loans, some students have to works since they were young to get money to her future tuition fees with different jobs. Also they can have helps from her parents to pays for her tuition fees. Indeed, we have studied in class a document called A personal Story, and a girl student said “having no student loans was a mixture of work, luck, and help” because she worked hard to get money, she received a few scholarships and help from her parents.

3. Academic and non academic skills
They are (ils sont ou il y a??)different skills taken into account for college admissions in the United States: The Academic skills, the athletic skills and the artistic skills
However, they are some tings unfair(mettez unfair devant things), indeed some excellent universities accept athletes who have only average school results whereas good pupils won’t be able to enter but everybody gets a chance to access higher education. The USA tries to follow and old saying: a healthy mind in a healthy body.

4. The goal of higher education
The selection of higher education depends on the goal of the students in the higher education. They can want to get a degree to have a good job, to earn a lot of money or to have an easy life. Also, they can’t maybe want to discover new things, new people, to get to know more about the world.

III/ Conclusion
To conclude, university is a seat of power because it gives strength of students who can choose freely their future life, studies. But we see that the government keeps the power to students,(sens de cette phrase ?? le gouvernement conserve le pouvoir aux étudiants ?? ) as show the rise of tuition fees shows.



Réponse: Bac/Spaces and forms of power de brandinho, postée le 14-05-2015 à 23:12:13 (S | E)
Voici donc ce que j'ai corrigé grâce à votre aide :
SPACES AND FORMS OF POWER

I/ Introduction
I’m going to talk about the Spaces and Forms of Power
First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion: Power is a right or an authority given or delegated to a person or a body. This generally implies a division between the people who have and exercise power and those who don't have any or have little of it.
But, to illustrate this notion, I’m going to present this notion with the theme of the university that we have studied in class
My problematic is: What selection for higher education
Firstly, we will explain why the cost of university is a real issue; secondly we will explain how students finance their studies. And in the last place we will list the different skills taken into account for college admissions and explain the goal of higher education.

II/ Plan
1. The cost of university.
The cost of university is a real issue. Indeed, students from lower income families can’t pay for their studies without having debts. Either they request a loan and they will have to pay back their loan or they are deterred from studying. The problem with the raise of tuition fees is that only rich families or students who have grants can pay for studies and get a better degree

2. Coping with the cost.
The consequences of the cost of university is that to avoid student loans, some students have to work since they were young to get money for their future tuition fees with different jobs. Also they can have help from their parents to pay for their tuition fees. Indeed, we have studied in class a document called A personal Story, and a girl student said “having no student loans was a mixture of work, luck, and help” because she worked hard to get money, she received a few scholarships and help from her parents.

3. Academic and non-academic skills.
There are different skills taken into account for college admissions in the United States: Academic skills, athletic skills and artistic skills
However, they are some unfair things unfair indeed some excellent universities accept athletes who have only average school results whereas good pupils won’t be able to enter but everybody gets a chance to access higher education. The USA tries to follow and old saying: a healthy mind in a healthy body.

4. The goal of higher education.
The selection of higher education depends on the goal of the students in higher education. They can want to get a degree to have a good job, to earn a lot of money or to have an easy life. Also, they can maybe want to discover new things, new people, to get to know more about the world.

III/ Conclusion
To conclude university is a seat of power because it gives the chance at the students to choose freely their future life, studies. But their future depends, also, their social situation.


Je vous remercie pour votre aide !! Merci

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-05-2015 23:16



Réponse: Bac/Spaces and forms of power de gerondif, postée le 14-05-2015 à 23:43:09 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
SPACES AND FORMS OF POWER

I/ Introduction
I’m going to talk about the Spaces and Forms of Power
First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion: Power is a right or an authority given or delegated to a person or a body. This generally implies a division between the people who have and exercise power and those who don't have any or have little of it.
But, to illustrate this notion, I’m going to present this notion with the theme of the university that we have studied in class
My problematic is: What selection for higher education
Firstly, we will explain why the cost of university is a real issue; secondly we will explain how students finance their studies. And in the last place we will list the different skills taken into account for college admissions and explain the goal of higher education.

II/ Plan
1. The cost of university.
The cost of university is a real issue. Indeed, students from lower income families can’t pay for their studies without having debts. Either they request a loan and they will have to pay back their loan or they are deterred from studying. The problem with the raise of tuition fees is that only rich families or students who have grants can pay for studies and get a better degree

2. Coping with the cost.
The consequences of the cost of university is that to avoid student loans, some students have to work since they were young (from a very early age)to get money for their future tuition fees with different jobs. Also they can have help from their parents to pay for their tuition fees. Indeed, we have studied in class a document called A personal Story, and a girl student said “having no student loans was a mixture of work, luck, and help” because she worked hard to get money, she received a few scholarships and help from her parents.

3. Academic and non-academic skills.
There are different skills taken into account for college admissions in the United States: Academic skills, athletic skills and artistic skills
However, they are some unfair things unfair indeed some excellent universities accept athletes who have only average school results whereas good pupils won’t be able to enter but everybody gets a chance to access higher education. The USA tries to follow and old saying: a healthy mind in a healthy body.

4. The goal of higher education.
The selection of higher education depends on(là il est juste mais il était faux deux lignes plus bas) the goal of the students in higher education. They can want to get a degree to have a good job, to earn a lot of money or to have an easy life. Also, they can maybe want to discover new things, new people, to get to know more about the world.

III/ Conclusion
To conclude university is a seat of power because it gives the students a chance to choose freely their future life, studies. But their future also depends on their social situation.



Réponse: Bac/Spaces and forms of power de brandinho, postée le 16-05-2015 à 20:33:46 (S | E)
Merci à toi gerondif !




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