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Bac/Spaces and exchanges

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Bac/Spaces and exchanges
Message de jojoblouse posté le 03-06-2015 à 16:38:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Could you help me for the correction of this text please? Thank you for any reply.


The notion I am going to deal with is « Spaces and Exchanges ». To begin with, I’ld like to give a definition of the notion : an exchange is an act of giving and receiving something else in return. It can also be seen as a continuous movement or circulation. There are different kinds of exchanges : media, people, trade… To illustrate the notion, I have chosen to talk about immigration in the USA. We may wonder to what has immigration brought to the USA.

I°) The immigration has brought mixity to both countries

John F. Kennedy, president of the United States of America from 1961 to 1963 once declared « Everywhere immigrants have enriched and strengthened the fabric of American life » So, it could allow us to talk about the place where all the migrants came from before getting in the US, The Statue of Liberty through the poem written on it and a picture of the statue. The Statue of Liberty is a colossal neoclassical sculpture located on Liberty Island in New-York Harbor, designed by Bartholdi in 1886. The statue, a gift to the United States from the people of France, is of a robed female figure representing the Roman goddess of freedom, who bears a torch and a tablet evoking the law upon which is inscribed the date of the American Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776. At first a symbol of Republicanism the statue has become an icon of freedom and a welcoming signal to immigrants arriving from abroad thanks to the poem written on it. On the statue leg is engraved a poem named « The New Colossus » written by Emma Lazarus in 1883. It symbolizes the spirit of the Statue of Liberty and more commonly, a kind of ideal of the USA. The USA is a welcoming country. Indeed, the « real » American are the Natives but after the discover of this continent by Christophe Colomb, the European people invaded the USA . That's why the North of America has a anglo-saxon culture. But nowadays, the USA are a melting pot with immigrants who come from other countries . Now only 2% of population in the US are Amerindian & 98% are imigrants. This imigration brought a lot of things in America like music or cooking. The US created corners for each country like China town. The imigrants created an interbreeding of population. The migrants created jobs and it's beneficial for the economy. Many researcher go to the US and brought their knowledges that allowed to the USA to be the world's top superpower. The migrants leave their country because they believe in the American Dream = works,money,happiness. Apart from the economy aspect, immigrants brought a cultural spreading. The most famous American custom come originally from Europe. Halloween is a American tradition that is from celtic british isles that is to say celtic people who lived in the North of FR, Ireland and Great-Britain. They celebrated their end of the year on the 31st of October, 3000 years ago. It's not like we use to celebrate the end of the year at our time, on the 31st of December each yeart. That last night of October was the night of Samhain, a death god. At this period of the year, nights became darker, ghosts of dead people visited living people and Samhain enjoyed this time to gather the souls of these who died during the year. The Celtic traditions including Samhain tradition continued to develop through years in Ireland, Wales and Scotland. In the 1840's, a starvation in Ireland took place and a lot of Irish people immigrated in America and brought the Halloween customs with them. This tradition still takes place in 2015 and a lot of child enjoy their Halloween time by knocking at their neighbour door and asking for a « Trick or a treat ».

II°) However, it also has brought discrimination

Indeed, the USA is a welcoming country but American people can also be suspicious towards strangers when there is a catastrophe like the 09/11. This kind of events can go in opposition with the principles we evokated from the Statue of Liberty previously. For example, we saw an extract from a book called « Over there : How America sees the world » written by Gary Shteyngart in 2005. The author didn't come from the USA, he was born in the USSR. So, he allows him to relate his experience as a foreigner. He tells that in all the countries he visited, he suffered from discrimination, that's why his favorite places are cosmopolitan cities such as NYC. The narrator, Gary Shteyngart, said that when he is outside the USA, people are prejudiced against him because they think that he is a threat. After 9/11 attacks, there was a development of xenophobia and other types of discriminations, people starting to make a hasty assessment taking him for a bloodthirsty terrorist but he's actually not. Some people from for example America mistake immigrants for poor people. As a personnal document, I chose an article from the NBCNews website named 5 Things to Know About Immigration and the U.S. Economy written by Jacob Passy.
This article speaks of facts we might not know and it called into question prejudices people could have on immigrants taking jobs away from native people of the country or immigrants being poor or anything. Those defenses are unreasonable because 30 % of them are working as software developers or 46 % as white-collar positions, although 20 % of immigrants are living under the poverty line. That is not the idea that people got of immigrants lives and they are also useful for the US economy. For instance, if the economy is in a bad position, immigration could have as effect to reduce the number of jobs for native workers whereas when the economy is in well position, immigrants could increase the employment situation. As such, the report found that the economy is not equipped to benefit from the increased employment opportunities presented when immigration goes up. But there is still an actual problem : the Mexican immigration. There is the Mexico-United States border that goes from California to Texas. It's the longest, the largest and the busiest border of the world. Indeed, it has become a strategic place for legal and illegal business. The border acts like a magnet for Mexican immigrants who dream of a better life in the USA. The standards of living in Mexico are much lower than in the USA. Contrary to Mexico, which is struck by unemployements and poverty, the USA appears as a land of opportunities as far as for the job market is conserned. Thats the reason why many destitude mexicans cross the boarder. Whether legaly or illegaly. While they move to america hoping for better prospects , they often offered menial unpayfull jobs and accepts low wages. That is the paradox of the situation of mexican emigrants. They represents more than half of emigrants in the USA, for around 18 million of people, by comparaison of the total of 48 million of immigrant living in the USA according to the report. While some americans aim at limiting their numbers, off this vision they are a cheap labour force, as a result, imigration is a highly controversial issue. On the one hand, the boarder is watched over by petrols or millicia such as the millitment whose goal is to prevent illegal imigration even if its imply is resulting to violence. Mexican emigrants can be compared to Gary Shteyngart's situation because during the post-Reconstruction period, Hispanic people in California were victims of violence and injuries from the White people as well as Gary Shteyngart's after the 09/11 attacks and the behaviour of American people towards him.

To conclude, we can say that immigration can be seen as a strength for the American culture like traditions brought by immigrants or in the economy. Despite those positive aspects, there are discriminations about the immigrant's living condition and communities that were persecuted like African American that were slaves at a period of time. Then, they were victims of segregation and they fought for their rights, they finally got. But, we've seen that those days are difficult for Black people in the USA. So, we could wonder how that events will end.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-06-2015 17:21


Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de gerondif, postée le 05-06-2015 à 11:43:45 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

The notion I am going to deal with is « Spaces and Exchanges ». To begin with, I’ld like to give a definition of the notion : an exchange is an act of giving and receiving something else in return. It can also be seen as a continuous movement or circulation. There are different kinds of exchanges : media, people, trade… To illustrate the notion, I have chosen to talk about immigration in(to) the USA. We may wonder to what has immigration brought(ne pas inverser en style indirect) to the USA.

I°) The immigration has brought mixity to both countries

John F. Kennedy, president of the United States of America from 1961 to 1963 once declared « Everywhere, immigrants have enriched and strengthened the fabric of American life » So, it could allow us to talk about the place where all the migrants came from (on pense à leur pays d'origine, d'ailleurs, ils s'arrêtaient à Ellis Island, pas à la statue de la liberté, bref, ça n'est pas clair!) before getting in the US, The Statue of Liberty through the poem written on it and a picture of the statue. The Statue of Liberty is a colossal neoclassical sculpture located on Liberty Island in New-York Harbor, designed by Bartholdi in 1886. The statue, a gift to the United States from the people of France, is of a robed female figure representing the Roman goddess of freedom, who bears a torch and a tablet evoking the law upon which is inscribed the date of the American Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776. At first a symbol of Republicanism the statue has become an icon of freedom and a welcoming signal to immigrants arriving from abroad thanks to the poem written on it. On the statue leg is engraved a poem named « The New Colossus » written by Emma Lazarus in 1883. It symbolizes the spirit of the Statue of Liberty and more commonly, a kind of ideal of the USA. The USA is a welcoming country. Indeed, the « real »(original) Americans are the Natives but after the discovery of this continent by Christophe Colomb(l'écrire en anglais, c'est à dire en latin), the European people invaded the USA . That's why the North of America has an anglo-saxon culture. But nowadays, the USA are a melting pot with immigrants who come from other countries . Now only 2% of the population in the US are Amerindian & 98% are immigrants. This imigration brought a lot of things in America like music or cooking. The US created corners(drôle de mot) for each country like Chinatown. The immigrants created an interbreeding of population. The migrants created jobs and it's beneficial for the economy. Many researchers go(prétérit) to the US and brought their knowledges(singulier) that allowed to the USA to be the world's top superpower. The migrants leave(prétérit) their country because they believe(prétérit) in the American Dream = works,money,happiness. Apart from the economy(adjectif) aspect, immigrants brought a cultural spreading. The most famous American custom come(le s du présent!) originally from Europe. Halloween is an American tradition that is(verbe venir) from celtic british isles that is to say celtic people who lived in the North of FR, Ireland and Great-Britain. They celebrated their end of the year on the 31st of October, 3000 years ago. It's not like we use to celebrate the end of the year at our time, on the 31st of December each year. That last night of October was the night of Samhain, a death god. At this period of the year, nights became darker, ghosts of dead people visited living people and Samhain enjoyed this time to gather the souls of these who died during the year. The Celtic traditions including Samhain tradition continued to develop for years in Ireland, Wales and Scotland. In the 1840's, a starvation in Ireland took place and a lot of Irish people immigrated in America and brought the Halloween customs with them. This tradition still takes place in 2015 and a lot of child(pluriel) enjoy their Halloween time by knocking at their neighbours' door and asking for a « Trick or a treat ».
(pour moi, Halloween fait un peu "remplissage" mais bon)

II°) However, it also(à placer entre has et brought) has brought discrimination

Indeed, the USA is a welcoming country but American people can also be suspicious towards strangers when there is a catastrophe like the 09/11. This kind of events can go in opposition with the principles we evokated (verbe inventé)from the Statue of Liberty previously. For example, we saw(changez de verbe) an extract from a book called « Over there : How America sees the world » written by Gary Shteyngart in 2005. The author didn't come from the USA, he was born in the USSR. So, he allows him to relate his experience as a foreigner. He tells that in all the countries he visited, he suffered from discrimination, that's why his favorite places are cosmopolitan cities such as NYC. The narrator, Gary Shteyngart, said that when he is outside the USA, people are prejudiced against him because they think that he is a threat. After the 9/11 attacks, there was a development of xenophobia and other types of discriminations, people starting to make a hasty assessment taking him for a bloodthirsty terrorist, which he is not, actually. Some people from for example America mistake immigrants for poor people. As a personnal document, I chose an article from the NBCNews website named 5 Things to Know About Immigration and the U.S. Economy written by Jacob Passy.
This article speaks (un article n'a pas de cordes vocales)of facts we might not know and it called(pourquoi ce prétérit après un premier verbe au présent?) into question prejudices people could have on immigrants taking jobs away from native people of the country or immigrants being poor or anything. Those defenses are unreasonable because 30 % of them are working as software developers or 46 % as white-collar positions, although 20 % of immigrants are living under the poverty line. That is not the idea that people got of immigrants'lives and they are also useful for the US economy. For instance, if the economy is in a bad position, immigration could have as effect to reduce the number of jobs for native workers whereas when the economy is in well position, immigrants could increase the employment situation. As such, the report found that the economy is not equipped to (bof)benefit from the increased employment opportunities presented when immigration goes up. But there is still an actual(sens?) problem : the Mexican immigration. There is the Mexico-United States border that goes from California to Texas. It's the longest, the largest and the busiest border of the world. Indeed, it has become a strategic place for legal and illegal business. The border acts like a magnet for Mexican immigrants who dream of a better life in the USA. The standards of living in Mexico are much lower than in the USA. Contrary toUnlike Mexico, which is struck by unemployements and poverty, the USA appears as a land of opportunities as far as for the job market is conserned. That's the reason why many destitude Mexicans cross the boarder. Whether legally or illegally. While they move to america hoping for better prospects , they are often offered menial unpayfull(Ca existe?) jobs and accepts low wages. That is the paradox of the situation of Mexican emigrants. They represents more than half of the emigrants in the USA, for around 18 million of people, by comparaison of the total of 48 million of immigrant living in the USA according to the report. While some americans aim at limiting their numbers, off this vision they are a cheap labour force, as a result, immigration is a highly controversial issue(phrase pau claire!). On the one hand, the boarder is watched over by petrols or millicia such as the millitment whose goal is to prevent illegal immigration even if its imply is resulting to violence. Mexican emigrants can be compared to Gary Shteyngart's situation because during the post-Reconstruction period, Hispanic people in California were victims of violence and injuries from the White people as well as(ne convient pas) Gary Shteyngart's after the 09/11 attacks and the behaviour of American people towards him.

To conclude, we can say that immigration can be seen as a strength for the American culture like traditions brought by immigrants or in the economy. Despite those positive aspects, there are discriminations about the immigrants' living conditions and communities that were persecuted like African Americans that were slaves at a period of time. Then, they were victims of segregation and they fought for their rights they finally got. But, we've seen that those days are difficult for Black people in the USA. So, we could wonder how that events(that est singulier et events pluriel) will end.




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