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Oral/Gandhi

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral/Gandhi
Message de emy03 posté le 07-10-2015 à 19:39:27 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
J'ai un oral d'anglais et j'ai préparé un texte, j'aimerais que vous me disiez si ce texte est..anglais et si possible me corriger mes fautes ! J'ai tout écrit, même les chiffres !

"My hero is Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. He was born on the second of October eighteen sixty-nine. He died in Delhi on the thirty of January nineteen forty-eight. He’s an important political man and a spiritual guide of India. To me, he’s the representative of a peace around the world.
He fights for the independence of the India, the nonviolence (he’s a pacific man), and the civil rights of the Indian. However, Gandhi fights against the colonization of his country and the discrimination. He had many problems with British authorities, during his protests or just victim of discrimination because he’s not a rich. Those problems motivate him in his fights.
Moreover, Gandhi is nicknamed Mahatma Gandhi in the world, what means “great soul”. He’s a hero, a faithful man, he fights for the India and the Indians. Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and many others heroes was inspired by Gandhi, which shows his importance around the world. He is also called Bapu, what means “Father” for the India.
The thirty of January nineteen forty-eight, Gandhi is killed by a bullet by an opponent. According to his wishes, his ashes was dispersed in the biggest rivers of the world. Nowadays, Gandhi stays a hero and the second of October is a national day of the nonviolence in India, in homage to this hero."

Merci à ceux qui m'aideront !

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-10-2015 21:46


Réponse: Oral/Gandhi de gerondif, postée le 07-10-2015 à 23:32:40 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
je ne comprends pas pourquoi vous parlez au présent des actions passées d'un homme.
Dans cette première correction, je vous montre tous les verbes qui devraient être au prétérit:

"My hero is Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. He was born on the second of October eighteen sixty-nine. He died in Delhi on the thirty of January nineteen forty-eight. He’s an important political man and a spiritual guide of India. To me, he’s the representative of a peace around the world.
He fights for the independence of the India, the nonviolence (he’s a pacific man), and the civil rights of the Indian. However, Gandhi fights against the colonization of his country and the discrimination. He had many problems with British authorities, during his protests or just victim of discrimination because he’s not a rich. Those problems motivate him in his fights.
Moreover, Gandhi is nicknamed Mahatma Gandhi in the world, what means “great soul”. He’s a hero, a faithful man, he fights for the India and the Indians. Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and many others heroes was(pluriel) inspired by Gandhi, which shows his importance around the world. He is also called Bapu, what means “Father” for the India.
The thirty of January nineteen forty-eight, Gandhi is killed by a bullet by an opponent. According to his wishes, his ashes was(pluriel) dispersed in the biggest rivers of the world. Nowadays, Gandhi stays a hero and the second of October is a national day of the nonviolence in India, in homage to this hero."

Maintenant, les erreurs:
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

"My hero is Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. He was born on the second of October eighteen sixty-nine. He died in Delhi on the thirty of January nineteen forty-eight. He’s an important political man and a spiritual guide of India. To me, he’s the representative of a peace around the world.
He fights for the independence of the India, the nonviolence (he’s a pacific man), and the civil rights of the Indians. However, Gandhi fights against the colonization of his country and the discrimination. He had many problems with British authorities, during his protests or (le problème est que le verbe mis en commun, he had, ne va pas ici, il faut rajouter un verbe être)just victim of discrimination because he’s not a rich. Those problems motivate him in his fights.
Moreover, Gandhi is nicknamed Mahatma Gandhi in the world, what means “great soul”. He’s a hero, a faithful man, he fights for the India and the Indians. Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and many others heroes was(pluriel) inspired by Gandhi, which shows his importance around the world. He is also called Bapu, what means “Father” for the India.
The thirty of January nineteen forty-eight, Gandhi is killed by a bullet by an opponent. According to his wishes, his ashes was(pluriel) dispersed in the biggest rivers of the world. Nowadays, Gandhi stays(sinifie rester à un endroit, utilisez remain) a hero and the second of October is a national day of(plutôt for) the nonviolence in India, in homage to this hero."




Réponse: Oral/Gandhi de emy03, postée le 08-10-2015 à 21:17:42 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour toutes ces corrections, elles m'ont beaucoup aidé !




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