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Aide/Idée de progrès

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Aide/Idée de progrès
Message de nat45 posté le 22-10-2015 à 16:13:01 (S | E | F)
Salut à tous,
je suis en Terminale et ma prof d'anglais veut qu'on prépare notre oral du Bac d'anglais. J'ai choisi la notion : "The Idea of Progress" que je dois lier avec le thème du cours qui est l'addiction aux jeux vidéo et à internet. Voici ce que j'ai fait, si vous pouviez me donner vos avis et vos corrections ça serait vraiment génial (je pense en avoir bien besoin).
MERCI BEAUCOUP Merci beaucoup.

INTRODUCTION
The Idea of Progress is the notion that the different advances in technology, science, and social organization can produce an improvement in the human condition. Progress suggests change and evolution and throughout history most of the advances have been positive. And the rhythm of progress seems to have accelerated over the last few years.
To illustrate this notion I’m going to focus on the Impacts of New Technologies in particular of Internet and Video Games. So we’re goanna see what effect does this progress have on our lives.
First of all, I will focus on the Positive aspects of progress through Internet and Video Games. Secondly, then, next, I will deal with the Negative aspects of progress through Internet and Video Games.
DEVELOPPEMENT
I Positive aspects of progress through Internet and Video Games
Firstly, Internet is the biggest database of the world, for example, today when you need to find information about anything, you can just “google it” and find quite everything about it. So we can say that internet is really educating, thanks to website like Wikipedia or online dictionary, reachable by everyone which is connected. Secondly, Internet is an excellent mean of communication, now in just being connected you can share everything you want to everyone; it can be just words but also photography, movie or applications, thanks to e-mail and social network. This young mean of communication can be extremely useful for example to warn a whole population of a natural disaster.
An article “Global post” called “Effects of Video Games on Children” explain that video games have benefit impact on the brain. For example video games force kids to think quickly and make fast decisions. This process improves critical-thinking skills and can teach kids the value of trying several different solutions to a problem, a skill that will benefit them for life.
Video games are often blamed for poor social skills in children. However, according to Psych Central, the opposite may be true, since video games often allow players from around the world to work together to solve problems or complete tasks.
To finish the positive aspects of video Games, in this same article, a professor at Michigan State University explain that video games can be a motivation for children and teenagers which pushes them to end quickly their task and be more effective.
Transition: New technologies such as Internet and Video Games has made life a lot easier by making information more accessible to all, affording fun moments and creating connections with different people around the world. However, it has also led a lot of people to spend too much time in front of the computer, so much so that it becomes the centre of their lives. This can lead to an Internet or computer addiction.

II Negative aspects of progress through Internet and Video Games
Firstly, we studied a Cartoon, from the Toronto Star, draw by Patrick Comigan. This Cartoon depicts a teenager phoning his mum though he is in the room next door. The teenager is stuck in front of his computer and would rather spend time surfing on the net than speak face to face with his mum. The cartoonist shows us that Internet or video games can fake the relationship in being excessively used. It illustrates how internet or video games can easily make you addict with all the consequences of this addiction like the desocialization show here.
We studied a movie of a teenager explaining his video games addiction. He said that because of his addiction his grades dropped and he started to fail at school. It is the case of many teenagers but also of young adult who don’t find a job. There are different degrees of addiction, for example some Internet or video games addict can’t help being on the net and can experiences withdrawal symptoms if they’re not connected for too long. They can also cut themselves off from the society.
In an article from ………. called “Man Dies from a Blood Clot after a Marathon Gaming”. It tells the story of young man which died because of playing too much video game on his computer. A doctor explains that a prolonged sedentary activity caused the blood clot which provokes the man’s death. This tragic story shows us that Internet addiction have really bad consequences until death. The doctors compare these addictions to a drug addiction because it have quite same consequences which can be unexpected.
In class, we also studied a video of a youtuber making social experiment in impersonate a teenager on a social network. The fake teenager gives appointment to the others teenagers in chatting and even if they didn’t know each other the teenager targeted came to the appointment. It show us another kind of danger of the net, everyone can fake his identity and by the way children and teenagers can easily be catch by a pedophile.
CONCLUSION
Surfing the internet or playing video games can be an interest for many people. But people need to use it properly. If not, it will become an addiction. And like every addiction it can have devastating consequences. So doing anything need to be moderate. Otherwise it will be bad for people. There are some ways to treat the online addiction. People can go outside to do some sport. Then people do not have energy to play computer. Also, people spend time to chat with friends at real life. It is good way to improve the friend’s relationship.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-10-2015 16:31


Réponse: Aide/Idée de progrès de roses4all, postée le 24-10-2015 à 04:12:06 (S | E)
Hello,
1)reachable by everyone which is connected
correction: by everyone who is connected
source: English grammar on-line

2) Internet is an excellent mean of communication
The internet is an excellent means of communication
'means' in the context of 'method' is always plural
Source: Cambridge dictionary

3) There are a lot of capitals that I doubt are necessary but I don't have the time to cite sources.
Sorry,
Roses
Good Luck!

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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-10-2015 08:21



Réponse: Aide/Idée de progrès de lemagemasque, postée le 24-10-2015 à 15:38:04 (S | E)
Hello roses4all!
No need to cite any sources to proofread a message!
See you!



Réponse: Aide/Idée de progrès de nat45, postée le 26-10-2015 à 15:03:03 (S | E)
thank you very much




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