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Ségrégation/Correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Ségrégation/Correction
Message de kaleid posté le 26-12-2015 à 20:52:39 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
je souhaiterais que quelqu'un me corrige mon texte traitant de la ségrégation des noirs, s'il vous plaît. Je remercie d'avance ceux ou celles qui prendront le temps de m'aider.

I Definition of the notion
Power is the ability to influence the behavior of people, it can be political, financial or military. In order to live together, members of a community accept rules, regulations and laws. But that can also lead to conflicts and tensions.

II Segregation of Blacks
The first African slaves were brought to America in 1619, and most pro-slavery states were in the south (the Confederacy). And even after the declaration of independence in 1776, slavery wasn't abolished. It was abolished by the emancipation proclamation (signed by Lincoln) in 1863 during the Civil War between the Union and the Confederacy (1861-1865). Moreover with the 14th Amendment (1868), the notion of equality between Blacks and Whites was born. Nevertheless some people didn't like this, and decided to form the Ku Klux Klan in 1866. In the beginning, it was a legal organization, but in 1871, it was officially outlawed because of their violent actions. But the root of discrimination didn't disappear, it's confirmed with the practices of “Jim Crow laws” in 1883, and their legalization in 1896 through the support of the Supreme Court. It marked the beginning of the segregation of the Blacks, they didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, schools, buses … and the quality of their facilities was always terrible. But thanks to the Civil Right Movement in the 1960s and Martin Luther King, in 1964 the “Jim Crow Laws” were forbidden. The Civil Right Movement's goal was to desegrate public accomodations, to give to Blacks the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation … in other words to give them the same rights as the Whites. It's strategies were based in non-violent actions like boycotts, marches, sit-ins… And in the 1960s, it was also the beginning of the Affirmative Action Practices. An official policy introduced in the US, favouring minorities in job hiring or college admissions. But, today, Americans are divided about this pratice and often criticize it as being “reverse discrimination”. Therefore, in 2002, the Supreme Court has begun to re-examine this highly debatable issue for future judgment. Finally this age of discrimination and segregation is described in some books like The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier or also American Chica of Marie Arana.

Sur ce je vous souhaite à tous une bonne journée et de bonnes fêtes !

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-12-2015 22:12


Réponse: Ségrégation/Correction de laure95, postée le 27-12-2015 à 17:22:09 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
je te souhaite également de bonnes fêtes de fin d'année.
-Blacks: un adjectif ne prends pas de "s".
- Blacks and Whites.
-people didn't like this: THIS ne s'emploie pas dans une phrase au passé.
-In the beginning: pas la bonne préposition.
- it's confirmed: mettre au passé.
- to desegrate: orthographe.
- Blacks
- It's stratégies.
- were based in non-violent actions: pas la bonne préposition.
- An official policy introduced in the US: mettre au passif.
-Americans: mettre un article.
- in 2002, the Supreme Court has begun: temps.



Réponse: Ségrégation/Correction de kaleid, postée le 29-12-2015 à 14:45:07 (S | E)
Bonjour,
tout d'abord je tiens à vous remercier de votre aide, surtout en période de fêtes ! Sinon voici ce que j'obtiens en suivant vos conseils:

I Definition of the notion
Power is the ability to influence the behavior of people, it can be political, financial or military. In order to live together, members of a community accept rules, regulations and laws. But that can also lead to conflicts and tensions.

II Segregation of Black
The first African slaves were brought to America in 1619, and most pro-slavery states were in the south (the Confederacy). And even after the declaration of independence in 1776, slavery wasn't abolished. It was abolished by the emancipation proclamation (signed by Lincoln) in 1863 during the Civil War between the Union and the Confederacy (1861-1865). Moreover with the 14th Amendment (1868), the notion of equality between Blacks and Whites (Là, je ne vois pas mon erreur ^^') was born. Nevertheless some people didn't like that, and decided to form the Ku Klux Klan in 1866. At the beginning, it was a legal organization, but in 1871, it was officially outlawed because of their violent actions. But the root of discrimination didn't disappear, it was confirmed with the practices of “Jim Crow laws” in 1883, and their legalization in 1896 through the support of the Supreme Court. It marked the beginning of the segregation of the Blacks, they didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, schools, buses … and the quality of their facilities was always terrible. But thanks to the Civil Right Movement in the 1960s and Martin Luther King, in 1964 the “Jim Crow Laws” were forbidden. The Civil Right Movement's goal was to desegregate public accomodations, to give to Blacks (Ici non plus, je n'arrive pas à identifier ma faute.) the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation … in other words to give them the same rights as the Whites. Its strategies were based on non-violent actions like boycotts, marches, sit-ins… And in the 1960s, it was also the beginning of the Affirmative Action Practices. An official policy was introduced in the US, favouring minorities in job hiring or college admissions. But, today, the Americans are divided about this pratice and often criticize it as being “reverse discrimination”. Therefore, in 2002, the Supreme Court had begun to re-examine this highly debatable issue for future judgment. Finally this age of discrimination and segregation is described in some books like The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier or also American Chica of Marie Arana.

Sur ce je vous souhaite une bonne journée et une bonne année!

-------------------
Modifié par kaleid le 01-01-2016 13:04






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