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Bac/Spaces and exchanges

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Bac/Spaces and exchanges
Message de floriandx posté le 20-05-2016 à 22:16:02 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir !
Je passe mardi mon oral Bac d'anglais et j'ai préparé mon texte sur la deuxième notion, qui est spaces and exchanges.
J'aimerais cependant avoir une correction ou des avis sur mon texte qui est sûrement loin d'être parfait. En effet, je sais que j'ai quelques difficultés dans la langue mais j'aimerais tout de même y gagner un bon résultat pour mon Bac.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide!

I'm going to discuss the notion of spaces and exchanges, to begin with I'd like to give a definition of this notion. This notion deals with spaces which are geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the exchanges which are interactions between men and different societies. In this notion, I will talk about the gaming passion. Because video games have evolved over the past fifty years and they have a considerable importance in today's world (for example fifty one percent of American households have a video games console and seventy two percent of American households plays video games) and indeed, a passion for the virtual world of gaming has grown for a lot of people all around the world. In my presentation I will try to answer at this question: What impact do virtual spaces (and more precisly the video games) have on our lives? First, I'm going to explain what makes video games attractive and what are the positive effects of video games, and after I will talk about the negative effects of video games.

Firstly, we can say that the video game was the most popular form of modern media entertainment. Over time, the video games have evolved and have been diversified, in order to reaching the widest possible audience. For example, in two thousand and six, the japanese company Nintendo realeased its first WII system. The WII was not like traditionals video games. It's the first wireless system which can capture the movements of the player's body. This way people could play sport against the game or against another person without leaving their house. One of Nintendo aims with the WII was to make video-gaming more social, and ,in fact, more popular with wider audiences.
Now, I'm going to explain what are the positive effects of video games. In fact, the video games can have positives effects. For example in a text document named "Can Video Games Be Good for You?", we can see that video games are appreciated because they provide a "fun escape from reality". Furthermore, the strong positive effect is the socializing aspect. It means that gamers can make friends online. From another part, this document talk about an experiment in which the participants had play at the video game Super Mario sixty four for thirty minutes a day over two months. This experiment revealed that the brains of these participants saw an increase of grey matter in areas associated with the memory, strategic planning, and fine motor skills of the hands compared to those who had not played. Moreover, video games can be use as effective teaching tools, and they improve attention skills; and they may help kids who suffer from dyslexia to read more accurately. Action games can also increase attention to detail. Other studies have seen improvements in eyesight.

Now I will talk about the negative effects of video games. In fact, the video games can have negative effects. We can take the example of a text document named "I Was a Game Addict", which deals with the notion of video game addiction. In fact, people can be addict to video games, which means that people can played games all the time and could not do anything else. The reason why video games, and more precisly the online games, can be addictive is that they have no time limit, and once enthralled by a game we may stay that way for weeks, months, or even years. The only real time limit is the need for the player to eat and sleep, and, in the most extreme cases, even those are ignored. For example, several years ago, a thirty-year-old Chinese man collapsed and died after a three-day gamig spree. He had eaten almost nothing, and hadn't slept at all. Furthermore, the addiction to video games may be linked to the fact that people can have problems with self-esteem or with their relationships with their parents, because they use the video games as a form of escape, just as some people use alcohol or drugs.

To conclude, we can say that the virtual spaces have an impact on our lives, as we have seen with the video games. Because we have seen that a lot of people play at video games because, furthermore the developers of video games want to do attractives games in order to reaching the widest possible audience. But we have seen too that video games can have positives effects (because for example they can improve skills) and negative effects (because for example people can be addict to video games and isolate themselves from the real world). In my opinion, the video games are not only good or bad, but they can be good and bad, because it depends of the use that the people make of video games. Moreover, we can wonder ourselves if the video games should be more regulated to limit the negative effects of video games, for example by programming in the video game consoles a maximum time limit for the player to play, in order to limit the time to play and to force the player to do breaks?

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-05-2016 22:43


Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de laure95, postée le 21-05-2016 à 14:16:27 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- seventy two percent of American households plays (faute de conjugaison) video games)
- I will try to answer at (enlever at)this question:

- Firstly, we can say that the video game was (présent)the most popular form of modern media entertainment.
-Over time, the (pas de the)video games have evolved
- in order to reaching: to + infinitif
- the japanese (majuscule)company Nintendo realeased its first WII system.
- The WII was (présent)not like traditionals (pas de "s")video games.

- In fact, the (pas de the)video games can have positives (pas de "s") effects.
- From another part, this document talk about (un document ne parle pas)an experiment
- the participants had play( temps? ) at (pas de at ni de the) the video game
- Action games can also increase attention to detail (pluriel).

- In fact, the (pas de the) video games
- people can played games: can + infinitif
- because they use the (pas de the) video games

- To conclude, we can say that the (pas de the) virtual spaces have an impact on our lives,
- the video games.
- a lot of people play at (pas de AT) video games
- to do attractives (pas de "s") games in order to reaching (to + infinitif)the widest possible audience.
- video games can have positives (pas de "s")effects
- In my opinion, the (pas de the)video games are not only good or bad
- Moreover, we can wonder ourselves (enlever ourselves)if the (pas de the) video games



Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de floriandx, postée le 21-05-2016 à 15:55:33 (S | E)
Merci laure95, voici ma version corrigée:
I'm going to discuss the notion of spaces and exchanges, to begin with I'd like to give a definition of this notion. This notion deals with spaces which are geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the exchanges which are interactions between men and different societies. In this notion, I will talk about the gaming passion. Because video games have evolved over the past fifty years and they have a considerable importance in today's world (for example fifty one percent of American households have a video games console and seventy two percent of American households play video games) and indeed, a passion for the virtual world of gaming has grown for a lot of people all around the world. In my presentation I will try to answer this question : What impact do virtual spaces (and more precisly the video games) have on our lives ? First, I'm going to explain what makes video games attractive and what are the positive effects of video games, and after I will talk about the negative effects of video games.

Firstly, we can say that the video game is the most popular form of modern media entertainment. Over time, video games have evolved and have been diversified, in order to reach the widest possible audience. For example, in two thousand and six, the Japanese company Nintendo realeased its first WII system. The WII is not like traditional video games. It's the first wireless system which can capture the movements of the player's body. This way people could play sport against the game or against another person without leaving their house. One of Nintendo aims with the WII was to make video-gaming more social, and, in fact, more popular with wider audiences.
Now, I'm going to explain what are the positive effects of video games. In fact, video games can have positive effects. For example in a text document named "Can Video Games Be Good for You ?", we can see that video games are appreciated because they provide a "fun escape from reality". Furthermore, the strong positive effect is the socializing aspect. It means that gamers can make friends online. From another part, this document deals with an experiment in which the participants had played video game Super Mario sixty four for thirty minutes a day over two months. This experiment revealed that the brains of these participants saw an increase of grey matter in areas associated with the memory, strategic planning, and fine motor skills of the hands compared to those who had not played. Moreover, video games can be use as effective teaching tools, and they improve attention skills; and they may help kids who suffer from dyslexia to read more accurately. Action games can also increase attention to detail. Other studies have seen improvements in eyesight.

Now I will talk about negative effects of video games. In fact, video games can have negative effects. We can take the example of a text document named "I Was a Game Addict", which deals with the notion of video game addiction. In fact, people can be addict to video games, which means that people can play games all the time and could not do anything else. The reason why video games, and more precisly the online games, can be addictive is that they have no time limit, and once enthralled by a game we may stay that way for weeks, months, or even years. The only real time limit is the need for the player to eat and sleep, and, in the most extreme cases, even those are ignored. For example, several years ago, a thirty-year-old Chinese man collapsed and died after a three-day gamig spree. He had eaten almost nothing, and hadn't slept at all. Furthermore, the addiction to video games may be linked to the fact that people can have problems with self-esteem or with their relationships with their parents, because they use video games as a form of escape, just as some people use alcohol or drugs.

To conclude, we can say that virtual spaces have an impact on our lives, as we have seen with video games. Because we have seen that a lot of people play video games because, furthermore the developers of video games want to do attractive games in order to reach the widest possible audience. But we have seen too that video games can have positive effects (because for example they can improve skills) and negative effects (because for example people can be addict to video games and isolate themselves from the real world). In my opinion, video games are not only good or bad, but they can be good and bad, because it depends of the use that the people make of video games. Moreover, we can wonder if video games should be more regulated to limit the negative effects of video games, for example by programming in the video game consoles a maximum time limit for the player to play, in order to limit the time to play and to force the player to do breaks ?



Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de laure95, postée le 22-05-2016 à 10:46:55 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- One of Nintendo ('s)aims with the WII was to make video-gaming more social,
- audiences: pas au puriel.
- in which the participants had played (preterit)video game Super Mario sixty four (ordre des mots) for thirty minutes a day over for) two months.
- Moreover, video games can be use (participe passé)as effective teaching tools,
- to detail: pluriel

-Now I will talk about (article) negative effects of video games.
- problems with (possessif) self-esteem






Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de floriandx, postée le 22-05-2016 à 16:05:17 (S | E)
Bonjour! Merci beaucoup laure95 pour cette aide précieuse. Voici donc la correction que j'ai pu établir (p.s.:pour ce qui est de la phrase " And surprisingly, action games can also increase attention to detail in individuals" je n'est pas mis "detail" au pluriel car il faut que je cite des documents, et ceci est la phrase d'origine du document, donc je ne pense pas qu'il faille la modifier, car de plus l'examinatrice pourrait dire que je modifie le texte?):
I'm going to discuss the notion of spaces and exchanges, to begin with I'd like to give a definition of this notion. This notion deals with spaces which are geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the exchanges which are interactions between men and different societies. In this notion, I will talk about the gaming passion. Because video games have evolved over the past fifty years and they have a considerable importance in today's world (for example fifty one percent of American households have a video games console and seventy two percent of American households play video games) and indeed, a passion for the virtual world of gaming has grown for a lot of people all around the world. In my presentation I will try to answer this question : What impact do virtual spaces (and more precisly the video games) have on our lives ? First, I'm going to explain what makes video games attractive and what are the positive effects of video games, and after I will talk about the negative effects of video games.

Firstly, we can say that the video game is the most popular form of modern media entertainment. Over time, video games have evolved and have been diversified, in order to reach the widest possible audience. For example, in two thousand and six, the Japanese company Nintendo realeased its first WII system. The WII is not like traditional video games. It's the first wireless system which can capture the movements of the player's body. This way people could play sport against the game or against another person without leaving their house. One of Nintendo’s aims with the WII was to make video-gaming more social, and, in fact, more popular with wider audience.
Now, I'm going to explain what are the positive effects of video games. In fact, video games can have positive effects. For example in a text document named "Can Video Games Be Good for You ?", we can see that video games are appreciated because they provide a "fun escape from reality". Furthermore, the strong positive effect is the socializing aspect. It means that gamers can make friends online. From another part, this document deals with an experiment in which the participants played video game named Super Mario sixty four for thirty minutes a day during two months. This experiment revealed that the brains of these participants saw an increase of grey matter in areas associated with the memory, strategic planning, and fine motor skills of the hands compared to those who had not played. Moreover, video games can also be educational. Because many games are used as effective teaching tools for both young and old, and they improve attention skills ; and they may help kids who suffer from dyslexia to read more accurately. And surprisingly, action games can also increase attention to detail in individuals. Other studies have seen improvements in eyesight.

Now I will talk about the negative effects of video games. In fact, video games can have negative effects. We can take the example of a text document named "I Was a Game Addict", which deals with the notion of video game addiction. In fact, people can be addict to video games(and especially at the online games), which means that people can play games all the time and could not do anything else. The reason why video games, and more precisly the online games, can be addictive is that they have no time limit, and once enthralled by a game we may stay that way for weeks, months, or even years. The only real time limit is the need for the player to eat and sleep, and, in the most extreme cases, even those are ignored. For example, several years ago, a thirty-year-old Chinese man collapsed and died after a three-day gamig spree. He had eaten almost nothing, and hadn't slept at all. Furthermore, the addiction to video games may be linked to the fact that people can have problems with their self-esteem or with their relationships with their parents, because they use video games as a form of escape, just as some people use alcohol or drugs.

To conclude, we can say that virtual spaces have an impact on our lives, as we have seen with video games. Because we have seen that a lot of people play video games because, furthermore the developers of video games want to do attractive games in order to reach the widest possible audience. But we have seen too that video games can have positive effects (because for example they can improve skills) and negative effects (because for example people can be addict to video games and isolate themselves from the real world). In my opinion, video games are not only good or bad, but they can be good and bad, because it depends of the use that the people make of video games. From another part, we can wonder if video games should be more regulated to limit the negative effects of video games, for example by programming in the video games consoles a maximum time limit for the player to play, in order to limit the time to play and to force the player to do breaks ?

-------------------
Modifié par floriandx le 22-05-2016 20:08



-------------------
Modifié par floriandx le 22-05-2016 23:13






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