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Message de tikouta posté le 31-10-2016 à 13:43:58 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Voici mon texte que j'ai écrit en vue de la notion en anglais "Myths and Heroes", sachant que nous avons travaillé sur Andrew Carnegie, Oprah Winfrey et sur le rêve américain de nos jours. Cependant, nous n'avons eu aucun document sur le fait que le rêve américain est devenu un mythe ou autre.
Merci de me donner votre aperçu et de corriger les éventuelles fautes s'il vous plait !
Merci infiniment !
For centuries, the American dream exists. Indeed, nowadays, this expression is still used. But its meaning has changed, as we are going to see, because of the context of the country. So, we are going to try to answer the problematic : Is the American dream, the most prestigious myth of the USA, still alive, or does he become little by little a myth ? To answer this question, we’ll see, first, that the American dream was a reality and it is still topical, through two example. Then, we’ll see that, even if the American dream is still real, its characteristics has changed and most of the real myth has disappeared.
First part :
From the first centuries after the founding of the USA, one specificity impressed the European : it was possible to be a very poor immigrant and to become rich, very rich, by working. That’s what understood many thousands of European who tried to immigrate in the USA in the 19th century, even young. Among them, one child who became very famous : Andrew Carnegie. Because of the industrial revolution, most of the immigrants worked in mines or in steel factories, like Andrew Carnegie. Indeed, he realized the economical potential of the steel and built his own empire in the whole USA : that’s why he became the richest man in the world. Here, he symbolized the authentic and the real conception of the American dream : the idea that anybody living in America, thanks to courage, work and determination, can succeed from wherever from when he begin, in accordance to the work ethic.
It’s this same work ethic (which praise values like hard-working, or self-disciplines) and ambition that allowed an other person to live this American dream : Oprah Winfrey.
Second part :
Indeed, this character managed to become a symbol of the American dream ; but her career is totally different. She grew up in a society where she were discriminated because of her skin colour. She climbed up the social ladder, little by little, despite the discriminations she was victim of, thanks to the motivation gave by her grand-mother. Thank to the media expansion, she managed to become the most famous TV-host in the USA (by having revolutionized the genre of journalism and TV shows) and she is considered as one of the most influential women in the world. Here again, we find again most of the characteristics of the American dream : the typical work ethic, the fact of starting from nothing to get, at the end, a huge wealth.
So, as we see, many centuries ago like nowadays, the American dream is still alive. But has he changed ? Is it still the same ? If a second Carnegie goes to the US now, will he have the same success ?
Third part :
I think that the answer is no. First, as we’ve seen in a report, the new people (like Jew during the WWII, or those who asked for the political asylum) arriving in the USA come for freedom, and not just for money, as it was often the case at Carnegie’s time. Furthermore, concretely, many characteristics of the old American dream have disappeared now. First, many people in the USA work very hard and managed to live many comfortably, but they touch earn millions of dollar like Carnegie. That’s what emerge from a report from the BBC which shows us that parents of teens who have settled in USA recently, managed to built their lives correctly, but not like Carnegie’s life. This change of the characteristics of the American dream can let us think that he’s becoming a myth gradually.
To conclude, I'll simply say that the American Dream stay a reality for some people. But it gradually becomes a myth, because of the evolution of the country and the society.
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-10-2016 14:07
Réponse : Notion/myths and heroes de laure95, postée le 31-10-2016 à 17:36:50 (S | E)
Dans ton introduction, tu n'introduis pas la notion, et donc tu ne définis pas les termes de la notion.
-For centuries, the American dream exists: passé.
- or does he become little by little a myth ?: mettre au présent en be+-ing.
- through two example: pluriel.
- its characteristics has changed: faute de conjugaison.
First part :
- That’s what understood many thousands of European (people): ordre des mots.
- Indeed, he realized (pas le bon mot)the economical potential of the steel
- from wherever from when he begin (faute de conjugaison)
It’s this same work ethic (which praise (faute de onjugaison)values like hard-working, or self-disciplines (singulier))
Second part :
-Indeed, this character (has) managed to become a symbol of the American dream ;
- She grew up in a society where she were discriminated (against) because of her skin colour.
- thanks to the motivation gave (participe passé)by her grand-mother (en un seul mot).
- Thank to the media expansion, she (has)managed to become the most famous TV-host in the USA
- But has he (pas le bon pronom)changed ?
Third part :
- First, many people in the USA work very hard and managed (présent)to live many (many ?)comfortably,
- but they touch earn: ?
- That’s what emerge (faute de conjugaison)from a report
- This change of (in) the characteristics of the American dream can let us think that he’s (pas le bon pronom)becoming a myth
To conclude, I'll simply say that the American Dream stay (pas le bon mot ici + faute de conjugaison)a reality for some people. But it gradually becomes (présent be+-ing) a myth, because of the evolution of the country and the society.
Conclusion trop courte.
Réponse : Notion/myths and heroes de tikouta, postée le 31-10-2016 à 18:18:18 (S | E)
j'ai pris en compte tes remarques pertinentes pour lesquelles je te remercie beaucoup ! Il n'y a plus qu'à corriger...
Mais hormis ces fautes, est-ce que le développement tient la route ? Les parties suivent-elles un ordre logique ? Sont-elles parfaitement en rapport avec la problématique ?
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