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Message de lulu2602 posté le 08-05-2017 à 13:50:12 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Voici ma troisième notion, j'aimerais un avis sur mon travail s'il vous plait.
Notion – Idea of progress
I’m going to deal with the notion idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change, a technical, scientific or social advance, which contributes to making the world a better place and can shove the habits. In relation to the notion, I’m going to focus on the evolution of the society at large: How do ordinary people who fight for a cause contribute to making the world a better place? First, we are going to see the role of whistleblowers in the society. Then, we will see how individuals can gather in order to change people’s mentality.
First, the society can progress thanks to ordinary person who have been confronted with offensive facts. Indeed, if some people would decide to hide them, others preferred to reveal these facts: we call them whistleblower. So, a whistleblower is a person who reveals something or someone threatening humanity, the environment, the society or the economy for example. The goal is to denounce the problem in order that everybody knows it so we will be able to change it. Cate Jenkins for example is a whistleblower. She denounced the Environmental Protection Agency after the terrorist attack of 2001 in the USA because according to her and scientific researches this association lay about the toxic dust created because of the building’s collapse. Indeed, people, firemen who worked after the attack have breathed this dust but it was without danger according to EPA. However, nowadays, these people have serious health problem. Cate Jenkins is an example of whistleblower but there are plenty of them like Peter Buxtun, Karen Silkwood and the most famous whistleblower, Edward Snowden.
So, by revealing an important secret, the whistleblower makes progress the knowledge and allows people of the world to know it. These people take the decision to speak for morals reasons and a will to stop the offensive fact. Thanks to them, lives of people can be improved and the society can also progress. Indeed, by revealing these secrets, errors made in the past can be corrected and will not to be repeated in the future.
However, if the whistleblowers seem to be alone in front of the problem, sometimes, the personal risk-taking is transformed into collective adventure when a group of people get together to fight for the same cause with the same conviction and policy. So, they can also participate to develop mentalities and make the world a better place. In the south of the USA, the segregation was a terrible period. Indeed, the black and white people could not mix in public places like for example in buses. So, some people, blacks and whites, decided to fight together against segregation creating a group named the freedom riders. They decided to travel together on the same commercial buses down to the Deep South, to Mississippi and Alabama. It was forbidden to share public places there as we just said. The aim was to challenge segregation by deliberately violating the segregation laws. They were arrested, hurt by their opponents, for example the Ku kluxklan, but they could not respond because they were following the same policy: the non-violence policy.
So by making operations to fight against a very important cause, these ordinary people have developed positively the mentalities. Each member of this group had a responsibility and together they have succeeded in changing the mentalities. Indeed, they had contributed to give to black people the same rights and the same importance as white people.
To conclude, ordinary people who decided to fight for a cause can contribute to make the world a better place by two ways: ordinary people can reveal important information to make progress the knowledge about a situation, or people can group together to denounce the same idea and, that way, make progress the mentalities of a society. On the one hand, there is a personal risk-taking and one the other hand a collective adventure.
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2017 15:26
Réponse : Idea of progress/Bac de laure95, postée le 08-05-2017 à 17:50:37 (S | E)
- First, the society can (make)progress thanks to ordinary person (pluriel)
- Indeed, if some people would decide (preterit simple)to hide them, others preferred (conditionel) to reveal these facts
- we call them whistleblower (pluriel).
- it was without (any)danger according to EPA.
- However, nowadays, these people have serious health problem (pluriel).
- the whistleblower makes progress the knowledge: ordre des mots.
- for morals (pas de s)reasons
- Thanks to them, (article)lives of people can be improved and the society can also (makes)progress.
- will not to (enlever to)be repeated in the future.
- So, they can also participate to (pas la bonne préposition)develop mentalities
- there as we (have)just said.
- these ordinary people have developed positively the (enlever the)mentalities.
- in changing the mentalities.
- Indeed, they had (present)contributed to give
- To conclude, ordinary people who (have)decided to fight for a cause
- to make progress the knowledge
- make progress the mentalities of a society.
chercher des synonymes de "so",de "faire progresser" il y en a trop!
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