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Message de zivalouna posté le 11-11-2007 à 06:31:01 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à tous, J’aurais besoins de votre aide pour corriger le paragraphe que j’ai écrit répondant à la question : Pourquoi j’aimerais aller à Sydney ? Mon niveau en anglais est très faible donc je suppose que mon travail doit avoir des erreurs de toutes sortes… désolée ! Voilà mon paragraphe est ci-dessous n’hésitez surtout pas si vous le souhaitez à apporter des corrections radicales si besoin est, aussi si vous voulez rajouter des choses sur Sydney ne vous en privez pas ! Je vous remercie d’avance pour votre aide !
I would go to Sydney as a city that is ready to dream with its modernity, its diverse population, its department stores…
If I go to Sydney, first as I love fun I go to the beach swimming and sailing with my friends. Then we would go to eat in a restaurant overlooking the sea… Then I go with my family to visit the Royal Botanic Gardens, as well as museums and wildlife reserves. So I take part in a parade of dragons, and I go to the opera. I visit the famous places like the Sydney Harbour and Sydney Harbour Bridge. Sydney and also known to be a very modern city, I suppose that this city has therefore great stores and me I'd love shopping with my friends.
Finally, this trip will allow me to make new acquaintances alike.
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-11-2007 07:17
Réponse: Sydney/correction de gee, postée le 11-11-2007 à 08:31:09 (S | E)
I don't really understand how it works. I read that Lucile posted a correction but I couldn't get it.
Anyway, this is another way Zivaluna could have wrote her essay.
I would like to go to Sydney, a dreamland to me with its modernity, its mixed population, its department stores…
If I went to Sydney, as I am fun addicted, I would first rush to the beach to swim and sail with my friends. Thereafter we would have a bite in a restaurant overlooking the sea…
With my family I would rather visit the Royal Botanic Gardens, museums and wildlife reserves.
Be sure I would manage to take part in a parade of dragons. I would also have a look at the avant-garde architecture opera house and maybe attend a play. I would visit the harbour either, and its famous bridge.
As Sydney is well-known for being a very modern city, I suppose it has great stores where I would love shopping with my friends.
Even if I would be doing so many things getting along with friends and family, this trip would be bound to getting me a lot of new acquaintances.
Wow! Let's go!
Réponse: Sydney/correction de zivalouna, postée le 13-11-2007 à 14:08:56 (S | E)
Désolée, pour le retard! Je vous remercie pour votre aide!