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Correction/About myself

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/About myself
Message de ophelie1992 posté le 20-03-2011 à 11:27:12 (S | E | F)
Hi everyone
Je me permets de poster afin de demander votre aide pour m'aider à corriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît.
Merci d'avance.

First subject: “Write something about yourself! Feel free to include any pertinent information – for example, your interests, hobbies, personal projects and motivations, or experiences that make you unique.”
It is always difficult to describe someone accurately, and especially when it is about yourself. I’ve always had passions for several things in my life and especially for artistic things and languages. Thanks to my determination, I have improved my skills. My biggest motivation is my passion for languages since I’m young. That’s why I’m a first year student of license LEA (Applied Foreign languages) at the University of Clermont-Ferrand. I’m always trying to improve my skills by learning new vocabulary, watching English television, reading English books etc. Besides, I have been to England two times during two weeks each time in a host family which has enabled me to improve my accent, my comprehension and my cultural knowledge of the country. My great motivation has also allowed me to acquire as time goes by, a good level in English, both in oral and in writing. Later, thanks to my studies, I would love to work in the international domain so that I could speak English every time and work in close relationship with this country I love. Therefore, I am looking for a job for this summer in accordance with my studies and my passions.
I also like artistic things such as music, dance and drawing since I’m very creative. I am a self-taughter; I play the guitar since 4 years. Besides, I have danced classical in a club since I am 4, but right now, I’m dancing hip hop. I also like doing sports. I played football, basketball, handball during 2 years and golf during 4 years in a club.
I am quiet, patient and always listening. I had several experiences with children and especially with my sisters that enables me to be mature, responsible and serious in life. I love being with people and especially children because I have easy contacts with them. I am really motivated and I think this job would be a great experience because I will always be there to help and do any task. Besides, I could be creative and fun or serious and mature when appropriates. I love sharing my hobbies and I would be glad to teach how to dance, draw or play music to children, everything in an American village, my biggest passion from the beginning.


Réponse: Correction/About myself de notrepere, postée le 20-03-2011 à 15:33:37 (S | E)
Hello!

Wow! Your English is very, very good. Quel plaisir.

It is always difficult to describe someone accurately, and especially when it is about yourself. I’ve always had passions for several things in my life and especially for artistic things and languages. Thanks to (1) my determination, I have improved my skills. My biggest motivation is my passion for languages since I’m young (2). That’s why I’m a first year student of license LEA (Applied Foreign languages) at the University of Clermont-Ferrand. I’m always trying to improve my skills by learning new vocabulary, watching English television, reading English books etc. Besides, I have been to England two times during (3) two weeks each time in a host family which has enabled me to improve my accent, my comprehension and my cultural knowledge of the country. My great motivation has also allowed me to acquire, as time goes by, a good level in English, both in oral and in writing. Later, thanks to my studies (4), I would love to work in the international domain so that I could speak English every time and work in close relationship with this country I love. Therefore, I am looking for a job for this summer in accordance with my studies and my passions.
I also like artistic things such as music, dance and drawing since I’m very creative. I am a self-taughter (5); I play (6) the guitar since 4 years (7). Besides, I have danced classical in a club since I am (6) 4, but right now, I’m dancing hip hop. I also like doing sports. I played football, basketball, handball during (3) 2 years and golf during (3) 4 years in a club.
I am quiet, patient and always listening. I had several experiences with children and especially with my sisters that enables me to be mature, responsible and serious in life. I love being with people and especially children because I have easy contacts with them (8). I am really motivated and I think this job would be a great experience because I will always be there to help and do any task. Besides, I could be creative and fun or serious and mature when appropriates. I love sharing my hobbies and I would be glad to teach how to dance, draw or play music to children (9), everything in an American village, my biggest passion from the beginning.

(1) Grâce à = Literally "Thanks to" but in this context, "Because of" would be better
(2) The meaning is not clear. Do you mean "I have had a passion for languages since I was young" or "I have had a passion for languages because I am young"?
(3) depuis: point de départ dans le temps = since; temps écoulé = for
(4) The meaning is not clear. Do you mean "After my education at University..."?
(5) Mal dit: I am self-taught.
(6) Temps à revoir
(7) "the age of four"
(8) Not the best choice of words
(9) Mal placé






Réponse: Correction/About myself de ophelie1992, postée le 20-03-2011 à 16:42:40 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour cette correction et pour les explications

Il faudrait donc dire: " I have played the guitar since 4 years"? tout en sachant que je joue encore de la guitare aujourd'hui.

Concernant la phrase " I have easy contacts with children ", je veux dire par là que j'ai le contact facile avec eux. Est-ce que cette tournure est juste et plus appropriée?: I am very approachable with children.



Réponse: Correction/About myself de notrepere, postée le 20-03-2011 à 17:59:08 (S | E)
hello

You would say:

I have played the guitar for four years.
I have played the guitar since the age of four/I was four (years old).

Il habite Paris depuis 1993. He has been living in Paris since 1993.
Il habite Paris depuis 5 ans. He has been living in Paris for 5 years.
Lien Internet


Voyez-vous la différence?

I am very approachable with children. Oui, c'est juste, ou: Children find me very approachable ou I am very good with children ou I interact with children very well. I like working with children and they find me very approachable. Beaucoup de choix.

Cordialement




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