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Text /some mistakes

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Text /some mistakes
Message de magiccerbere posté le 18-02-2012 à 21:54:12 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde,

Voilà une partie d'un texte que j'ai écrit dans le cadre scolaire. J'aimerais savoir où sont mes erreurs, et si possible, de quel type sont-elles (prépositions, grammaire...) pour que je puisse me corriger.
Merci beaucoup !

A possible presentation of Role Playing Game
Second Part

But, why we play ?

A distinctiveness of RPG : there isn't any winners (and so not loser). Each character evolve during an adventure ( a series of adventures is called a campaign) to become more and more strenght but also complex. Even though a character died, the adventure may be succeed. So, what's the aim ?
The aim is only together to spend a good time. Of course, we try to achieve the adventure planed by game master. The same character can be to play during several adventure. In fact, the only real limit is your imagination !

So, but what are we play ?

If the only real limit is your imagination, there is the same limit for RPG's originators. There are some :

-Dungeons and Dragons : The first RPG. The characters are in a dungeons to struggle some monsters. This is still the RPG most played. It is inspired of Tolkien's world.

-Call of Cthulhu : Here, this is a suspense RPG inspired from the author Lovecraft. The characters are exclusively a human.

-Donjon de Naheulbeuk : amateur RPG invented by John Lang from his imaginary world. You choose to be an elf, a gnome, a barbarian, a human, an ogre, a goblin, a sorcerer... as a job (thief, minstrel, merchant...).

Les p'tites Sorcières : Also an amateur RPG. Here, not some dreadful monster. On the contrary, you are a little sorcerer who to learn magic. Each sorcerer have an pet. This pet is also an character biut this an other player who controls it. Each player controls two characters : his own character and a pet (but not his).


RPG's vocabulary :
There are some common expressions and terms :

-Munchkin (called in french : “Gros Bill”) : this term is used for a player who is to obsess by the gain. This player ant to earn many experience points. The new players are often some Munchkin at first.

-”Critical success” and “critical failure” : When the dice roll is very good, we say that the player have a critical success. The actions will especially success. This is exceptional ! And if the dice roll is very bad, this is a critical failure. No dice !

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-02-2012 22:09


Réponse: Text /some mistakes de sherry48, postée le 18-02-2012 à 22:43:22 (S | E)
Hello magiccerbere.
I have indicated only problems with verbs, including agreement, spelling, tense, a missing verb, and incorrect format for questions.
But, why we play ?

A distinctiveness of RPG : there isn't any winners (and so not loser). Each character evolve during an adventure ( a series of adventures is called a campaign) to become more and more strenght but also complex. Even though a character died, the adventure may be succeed. So, what's the aim ?
The aim is only together to spend a good time. Of course, we try to achieve the adventure planed by game master. The same character can be to play during several adventure. In fact, the only real limit is your imagination !

So, but what are we play ?

If the only real limit is your imagination, there is the same limit for RPG's originators. There are some :

-Dungeons and Dragons : The first RPG. The characters are in a dungeons to struggle some monsters. This is still the RPG most played. It is inspired of Tolkien's world.

-Call of Cthulhu : Here, this is a suspense RPG inspired from the author Lovecraft. The characters are exclusively a human.

-Donjon de Naheulbeuk : amateur RPG invented by John Lang from his imaginary world. You choose to be an elf, a gnome, a barbarian, a human, an ogre, a goblin, a sorcerer... as a job (thief, minstrel, merchant...).

Les p'tites Sorcières : Also an amateur RPG. Here, not some dreadful monster. On the contrary, you are a little sorcerer who to learn magic. Each sorcerer have an pet. This pet is also an character biut this an other player who controls it. Each player controls two characters : his own character and a pet (but not his).


RPG's vocabulary :
There are some common expressions and terms :

-Munchkin (called in french : “Gros Bill”) : this term is used for a player who is to obsess by the gain. This player ant to earn many experience points. The new players are often some Munchkin at first.

-”Critical success” and “critical failure” : When the dice roll is very good, we say that the player have a critical success. The actions will especially success. This is exceptional ! And if the dice roll is very bad, this is a critical failure. No dice !
You have other mistakes, but you can start with these. Sherry



Réponse: Text /some mistakes de magiccerbere, postée le 19-02-2012 à 09:06:57 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour ta réponse. Voici une tentative de correction des erreurs que tu m'as indiquées :

But, why do we play ?

A distinctiveness of RPG : there aren't any winners (and so not loser). Each character evolves during an adventure ( a series of adventures is called a campaign) to become more and more strength but also complex. Even though a character dies, the adventure may succeed. So, what's the aim ?
The aim is only together to spend a good time. Of course, we try to achieve the adventure plans by game master. The same character can play during several adventure. In fact, the only real limit is your imagination !

So, but what do we play ?

If the only real limit is your imagination, there is the same limit for RPG's originators. There are some :

-Dungeons and Dragons : The first RPG. The characters are in a dungeons to struggle some monsters. This is still the RPG most played. It is inspired of Tolkien's world.

-Call of Cthulhu : Here, this is a suspense RPG inspired from the author Lovecraft. The characters are exclusively a human.

-Donjon de Naheulbeuk : amateur RPG invented by John Lang from his imaginary world. You choose to be an elf, a gnome, a barbarian, a human, an ogre, a goblin, a sorcerer... as a job (thief, minstrel, merchant...).

Les p'tites Sorcières : Also an amateur RPG. Here, no some dreadful monster. On the contrary, you are a little sorcerer who learning magic. Each sorcerer has an pet. This pet is also an character but this other player who controls it. Each player controls two characters : his own character and a pet (but not his).

RPG's vocabulary :
There are some common expressions and terms :

-Munchkin (called in french : “Gros Bill”) : this term is used for a player who is to obsess by the gain. This player want to earn many experience points. The new players are often some Munchkin at first.

-”Critical success” and “critical failure” : When the dice roll is very good, we say that the player has a critical success. The actions will especially success. This is exceptional ! And if the dice roll is very bad, this is a critical failure. No dice !

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-02-2012 09:36



Réponse: Text /some mistakes de sherry48, postée le 19-02-2012 à 14:59:30 (S | E)
Hello magiccerbere. You've done well with the corrections. I don't know anything about your topic, so there were some sentences I wasn't completely sure of. I suspect you can tell what's wrong with most of the problems I have highlighted. (*=a missing word)
A distinctiveness of RPG : there aren't any winners (and so not loser). Each character evolves during an adventure ( a series of adventures is called a campaign) to become more and more strength (When you have more strength, you become...)but also complex. Even though a character dies, the adventure may succeed. So, what's the aim ?
The aim is only together to spend a good time. (reorganize this) Of course, we try to achieve the adventure plans by * game master. The same character can play during several adventure. In fact, the only real limit is your imagination !

So, but what do we play ?

If the only real limit is your imagination, there is the same limit for RPG's originators. There are some :

-Dungeons and Dragons : The first RPG. The characters are in a dungeons to struggle * some monsters. This is still the RPG most played. It is inspired of Tolkien's world.

-Call of Cthulhu : Here, this is a suspense RPG inspired from the author Lovecraft. The characters are exclusively a human.

-Donjon de Naheulbeuk : amateur RPG invented by John Lang from his imaginary world. You choose to be an elf, a gnome, a barbarian, a human, an ogre, a goblin, a sorcerer... as a job (thief, minstrel, merchant...).

Les p'tites Sorcières : Also an amateur RPG. Here, no some dreadful monster. On the contrary, you are a little sorcerer who learning magic. Each sorcerer has an pet. This pet is also an character but this other player who controls it. Each player controls two characters : his own character and a pet (but not his *).

RPG's vocabulary :
There are some common expressions and terms :

-Munchkin (called in french : “Gros Bill”) : this term is used for a player who is to obsess by the gain (I don't understand this very well, but the infinitive doesn't go here.). This player want to earn many experience points. The new players are often some Munchkin at first.

-”Critical success” and “critical failure” : When the dice roll is very good, we say that the player has a critical success. The actions will especially success (not the noun). This is exceptional ! And if the dice roll is very bad, this is a critical failure. No dice !
Sherry



Réponse: Text /some mistakes de magiccerbere, postée le 20-02-2012 à 08:24:49 (S | E)
Merci encore une fois !

J'ai bien pris note de tes remarques, et j'ai fait mon possible pour les corriger. Je viens de rendre le devoir à un professeur pour avoir encore une fois une correction (ce n'est pas noté).

Merci beaucoup !

À bientôt.




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