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Reflector narration/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Reflector narration/aide
Message de maxou58 posté le 08-11-2013 à 20:25:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

je dois reécrire un texte en changeant de point de vue, et ce en utilisant le "reflector narration" : c'est à dire reécrire le texte à la 3ème personne, au passé et avec la focalisation interne
Je vous laisse donc le texte original ici avec les consignes :

Rewrite the story in Text 1 from the point of view of the character Sanette, employing the narrative point of view used in Text 2 (reflector narration: third person, past tense, internal focalization
TEXT 1
One prematurely sultry afternoon in May, Dean took his 8-year-old daughter to the park. (His wife was the features editor at a nesting magazine; Dean taught math to seventh- and eighth-graders). He met a 23-year-old Haitian au pair named Sanette. He heard her laugh, throaty and uninhibited, turned, and there she was, seated amidst other au pairs and a miscellany of children and strollers. She was voluptuous, her skin gleaming with perspiration, her black bra straps alluringly askew alongside the shoulder straps of her tank top. And Dean experienced a sort of petit mal seizure of lust.
He devised a convoluted plan to "befriend" Sanette's employers—convincing them to share a summer house that August, thus enabling Dean to vacation under the same roof as the au pair.
On several occasions that dreary August, Dean and Sanette got a room at the Sea Spray. And their relationship—never openly acknowledged—effectively poisoned the summer for everyone.
Sanette was fired, lost her work visa, and had to return to Haiti, which she'd planned on doing anyway. Dean's wife just chalked it all up to a "bad patch," when, in actuality, it hurt her terribly.

“Ad Infinitum”, Mark Leyner

TEXT 2
She was about to explore another life with Frank. Frank was very kind, manly, open-hearted. She was to go away with him by the night-boat to be his wife and to live with him in Buenos Ayres where he had a home waiting for her. How well she remembered the first time she had seen him; he was lodging in a house on the main road where she used to visit. It seemed a few weeks ago. He was standing at the gate, his peaked cap pushed back on his head and his hair tumbled forward over a face of bronze. Then they had come to know each other. He used to meet her outside the Stores every evening and see her home. He took her to see The Bohemian Girl and she felt elated as she sat in an unaccustomed part of the theatre with him. He was awfully fond of music and sang a little. People knew that they were courting and, when he sang about the lass that loves a sailor, she always felt pleasantly confused. He used to call her Poppens out of fun. First of all it had been an excitement for her to have a fellow and then she had begun to like him. He had tales of distant countries. He had started as a deck boy at a pound a month on a ship of the Allan Line going out to Canada. He told her the names of the ships he had been on and the names of the different services. He had sailed through the Straits of Magellan and he told her stories of the terrible Patagonians. He had fallen on his feet in Buenos Ayres, he said, and had come over to the old country just for a holiday. Of course, her father had found out the affair and had forbidden her to have anything to say to him.

“Eveline”, James Joyce

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-11-2013 22:10
Voir le texte adapté ci-dessous.


Réponse: Reflector narration/aide de maxou58, postée le 08-11-2013 à 20:28:13 (S | E)
et voilà le texte réadapté par mes soins

TEXTE READAPTE :

One prematurely sultry afternoon in May, she met a teacher named Dean. Dean took his 8-year-old daughter to the park. (His wife was the features editor at a nesting magazine; Dean taught math to seventh- and eighth-graders). She was seated amidst other au pairs and a miscellany of children and strollers, and Dean heard her laugh, throaty and uninhibited.

She was voluptuous, her skin gleaming with perspiration, her black bra straps alluringly askew alongside the shoulder straps of her tank top. And Dean experienced a sort of petit mal seizure of lust.

Dean devised a convoluted plan to "befriend" with the employers—convincing them to share a summer house that August, thus enabling Dean to vacation under the same roof as the au pair.

On several occasions that dreary August, she got a room at the Sea Spray with Dean. And their relationship—never openly acknowledged—effectively poisoned the summer for everyone.

She was fired, lost her work visa, and had to return to Haiti, which she'd planned on doing anyway. She just chalked it all up to a "bad patch," when, in actuality, she was terribly hurted.

Merci d'avance ;)




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