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Correction/Sécurité routière

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Sécurité routière
Message de samsung18 posté le 11-10-2014 à 08:47:23 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pourriez-vous me corriger ce texte svp s'il vous plaît ?
Merci pour vos réponses.

Speed ad Mistakes is a new ad about road safety from new zealand which shows two cars drivers who stop before having an accident to have a discussion and they realize their mistakes. It is a very striking ad as the British know how to make it. So, first we are going to talk about the description of the ad. Second, we are going to talk about the evoked feelings and third, we are going to talk about our point of view.
With the aim of making the advertising understand to people, the creator of the advertising has to use precise, clear and shocking images. The denotative aspect of this advertisement is that the road safety is important for our lives. The connotative aspect is that by driving fast we can make errors and killing innocents. It is a deductive advertisement because from a general case of accident we think about all the consequences which these accidents cause
To conclude, to avoid this kind of accident,we have to :
-Respect of limitation fastes and the laws
- Beware other drivers
- Pay attention on our environment
-To be carrefull
I think, It is important to respect the traffic rules to avoid the accidents and protect lives. Not to respect the, it is to be selfish because we put not only our life in danger but also that of the other persons

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-10-2014 09:06



Réponse: Correction/Sécurité routière de tdu6300, postée le 14-10-2014 à 09:33:10 (S | E)
Hello
Blue = mistakes
Green = My propositions
X or XXX = Missing word, letter, punctuation

Speed ad Mistakes is a new ad about road safety from (What do you mean? Do you mean that ad is from New Zealand or are you talking about road safety from New Zealand like a cheese could be) new zealand (Hum!!! Is it not a country?) which shows two cars drivers (Seul le dernier mot porte la marque du pluriel) who stop before having an accidentX (Punctuation. Start a new sentence) to have a discussion and they realize their mistakes. It is a very striking ad as the British know how to make it. (British make several ads, so « it » has to be plural) So, first we are going to talk about the description of the ad. Second, we are going to talk about the evoked feelings and third, we are going to talk about our point of view.
With the aim of making the advertising understand (What do you mean? Voulez vous dire que la publicité doit être comprehensible par les gens? Dans ce cas « understand n’est pas correct) to people, the creator of the advertising has to use precise, clear and shocking images. The denotative aspect of this advertisement is that the road safety is important for our lives. The connotative aspect is that by driving fast we can make errors and killing (Conjugation) innocents. It is a deductive advertisement because from a general case of accident (Not necessary here. You precise it later in your sentence and that is enough) we think about all the consequences which these accidents cause
To conclude, to avoid this kind of accident,X(Space missing)we have to :
-Respect of limitation fastes (1-fastes?? What is it? – 2-There is an expression for what you mean: To help you, it’s a two word expression and the first one starts with “s”) and the Lien internet
laws
- Beware XXX other drivers
- Pay attention on (Autre preposition) our (notre??? Votre? l’?) environment
-To (Parce que vous avez déjà mentionné “to” dans “we have to:” vous devez l’omettre ici.) be carrefull
I think, It is important to respect the (Voir leçons sur les articles, lien mentionné plus haut) traffic rules to avoid the (Voir leçons sur les articles, lien mentionné plus haut) accidents and protect lives. Not to respect theX, (I think there is a letter missing) it is to be selfish (Construction and conjugation. Try to start your sentence with this passage) because we put not only our life in danger but also that of the (Voir leçons sur les articles, lien mentionné plus haut) other persons

Hope this helps
Best regards.





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