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Oral/Idea of progress

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral/Idea of progress
Message de jennsequeira posté le 30-04-2015 à 00:39:13 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
J'ai préparé un texte pour mon oral d'anglais et j'aurais aimé savoir si quelqu'un pouvait le corriger s'il vous plait? Vu mon niveau il doit y avoir pas mal de fautes donc je remercie d'avance tout ceux qui prendront le temps de corriger mon texte.
Merci beaucoup!

I'm going to present the notion "Idea of progress". This notion can be defined as an improvement, a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. Progress implies changes, some evolution from an old order to a new order. In a first part we talk about technological progress (as social networks, smartphone and theire abilitys) and after, in a second part we are present the new transport (plane or car). But what progress are change our daily life?
To begin, i would like to present the smartphone of today. With this device, you can contact an other person, go to social networks, play, download music, use a gps... Today, smartphone are an other part of us. We are not feeling good when it's not in our pocket because we having the impression are deconnected of the world. We are in some ways "addict". Moreover, in class we are study a text about the addictions of smartphone and social networks "One hundred tweets of solitude" write in 2011. This article comes to an American magazine: Newsweek. This text explains we can't live without it. Add Twitter, Facebook, and the rest of our social-media obsessions to the mix, and the technology that was supposed to simplify our lives has become the ultimate time-suck. According to the text, teen spends more than seven hours a day using technological devices, plus an additional hour just text-messaging friends. We don't see the importance of this devices take in our life.
In a second part, i would like to talk about the transport progress. Since many years, the transport are very evolued. For exemple, before we move in barouche. There are not engine, the transport move just tranks to the strenght of horse. Today it's totally different. Now we have car and plane and we can do the tour of world. This transport can carry many person far away. It's very practics!
To conclude, i think the progress are a very good thing. Thanks to that, we can go to an other contry, talk with everybody and keep contact.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2015 08:33


Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de jennsequeira, postée le 30-04-2015 à 11:51:18 (S | E)
Personne pour m'aider?



Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de here4u, postée le 30-04-2015 à 12:59:20 (S | E)
Hello !

I'll have a go!

I'm going to present the notion of "Idea of progress". This notion can be defined as an improvement, a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. Progress implies changes, some evolution from an old order to a new one (order). In a first part we talk about technological progress (as social networks (!!), smartphoneS and theire abilitys(to do what?)) and after, in a second part we are present (tense) the new transport (planeS or carS). But what progress are change our daily life?(check the construction ...this isn't a question ...)
To begin, i would like to present the smartphoneS of today. With this device, you can contact an other person, go to social networks, play, download music, use a gps... Today, smartphoneS are an other part of us. We are not feeling good when it's not in our pocket because we having the impression are(subject? construction!) deconnected of the world. We are in some ways "addictED". Moreover, in class we are study a text about the addictions of smartphoneS and social networks "One hundred tweets of solitude" write in 2011. This article comes to an American magazine: Newsweek. This text explains we can't live without itnot clear.... Add Twitter, Facebook, and the rest of our social-media obsessions to the mix, and the technology that was supposed to simplify our lives has become the ultimate 'time-suck'. According to the text, teen spends more than seven hours a day using technological devices, plus an additional hour just text-messaging friends. We don't see the importance of this devices take in our life.
In a second part, i would like to talk about the transport progress. Since many years, the transport are very evolued(change the whole construction of the 'sentence'.). For exemple, before we move in barouche. There are not engine, the transport move just tranks to the strenght of horseS. Today it's totally different. Now we have carS and planeS and we can do the tour of world. This transport can carry many person far away. It's very practics!
To conclude, i think the progress are a very good thing. Thanks to that, we can go to an other contry, talk with everybody and keep contactS.

It's your turn to work, now!



Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de jennsequeira, postée le 30-04-2015 à 13:13:11 (S | E)
Je suis désolée, je ne comprends pas pourquoi tout est marqué en bleu. Je suis mauvaise en anglais et juste souligner mes fautes en bleu ne m'aide pas beaucoup..

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2015 16:10



Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de gerondif, postée le 30-04-2015 à 15:32:44 (S | E)
Bonjour,
vous êtes membre du site depuis 15 heures et vous pensiez que le verbe corriger signifiait donner les corrections directement. Il suffirait alors de publier un texte même super mal ficelé pour le voir réparé automatiquement. En fait, vous demandez à here4u de se transformer en un google traduction ou reverso intelligent (mais ça, elle ne peut pas le faire ) mais le but du site c'est de vous aider à corriger, pas de vous donner un texte clefs en main. Sinon, c'est le correcteur qui passe le bac, plus vous!



Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de lucile83, postée le 30-04-2015 à 16:14:45 (S | E)
Hello,
C'est vous qui passez les examens, pas nous Les erreurs sont en bleu; et il y en a beaucoup.




Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de jennsequeira, postée le 03-05-2015 à 21:20:21 (S | E)
Je ne vous ai jamais demandé de corriger mes fautes, mais au moins de m'indiquer la nature de la faute, ça m'aiderait parce que là je suis vraiment perdue.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-05-2015 22:20



Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de lucile83, postée le 03-05-2015 à 22:20:16 (S | E)
Hello,
Exemple, la dernière phrase:
To conclude, i think the progress are a very good thing. Thanks to that, we can go to an other contry, ..
A votre avis comment allez-vous corriger? Réfléchissez.



Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de jennsequeira, postée le 04-05-2015 à 20:41:53 (S | E)
J'ai essayé de faire de mon mieux mais je sais que ce n'est pas encore ca, il y a encore beaucoup d'erreure que je n'ai pas su corriger. Merci de votre aide en tout cas

I'm going to present the notion of "Idea of progress". This notion can be defined as an improvement, a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. Progress implies changes, some evolution from an old order to a new one . In a first part we talk about technological progress (as social networks, smartphones and theire abilitys to communicate) and , in a second part we are present (tense? Je n'ai pas compris) the new transport (planes or cars). But what progress are change our daily life?(J'avais remarqué mais je n'ai vraiment pas su comment tourner cette phrase en question)
To begin, i would like to present the smartphoneS of today. With this device, you can contact a other person, go to social networks, play, download music, use a gps... Today, smartphones are a other part of us. We are not feeling very well when it's not in our pocket because we having the impression are(subject? construction!) deconnected of the world. We are in some ways "addicted". Moreover, in class we have study a text about the addictions of smartphones and social networks "One hundred tweets of solitude" writed in 2011. This article comes to an American magazine: Newsweek. This text explains we can't live without itnot clear.... Add Twitter, Facebook, and the rest of our social-media obsessions to the mix, and the technology that was supposed to simplify our lives has become the ultimate 'time-suck'. According to the text, teen spends more than seven hours a day using technological devices, plus an additional hour just text-messaging friends. We don't see the importance of this devices take in our life.
In a second part, i would like to talk about the transport progress. Since many years, the transport are very evolued(change the whole construction of the 'sentence'.). For example, before we move in barouche. There are not engine, the transport move just tranks to the strenght of horseS. Today it's totally different. Now we have cars and planes and we can do tour of world. This transport can carry many persons far away. It's very practice!
To conclude, i think progress is a very good thing. Thanks to that, we can go to other contry, talk with everybody and keep contacts




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